Confusion

Sitting backstage on play night.
I look at him and smile.
My friends tell me they can see I like him.
I deny it, even though i have for a while.

Its almost time for school to end.
And most of my friends are about to go.
I really want to tell him the truth.
I really want him to know.

I find out he is going to boot camp.
My heart fills up with sadness.
I plan to try to spend as much time with him.
Because he is one i truly will miss.

Graduation day has come.
He will graduate tonight.
I want to find a time to tell him.
But no time at all seems right.

It is summer time and I am having a blast.
So far it was been cool.
Going to the movies and hanging out.
Sneaking into the school pool.

On the mountain something bad happened.
He helped me out without a thought.
A hero figure formed in his image.
I really will miss him quite a lot.

A concert has come around the corner.
And now i sit at home alone.
I will write him a letter on how much i will miss him.
and make it special and tone.

Today is the day and when tomorrow comes.
In another state he'll be.
The thought of him being in the army.
Is a scary thought to me.

Stupid me, no words came out.
Now i have to wait.
I will write him in letters and keep the friendship.
He will find out some day.

I miss him a lot and wish he were back.
It is hard for me these days.
So many things remind me of him
and in tons of different ways.

One more week and he will be back.
I wish he was here now.
I am in a situation that is hard.
And I need to get out somehow.

I was screwed over and it hurts.
Dillon was my very first kiss.
This pain in my heart really hurts.
But still it is he that i miss.

He is back, but in California.
It is an awesome thought for me.
I will get to see him in no time at all.
So very happy i will be.

Today was great, he looks so different.
My feelings for him have never changed.
I plan to tell him in no time at all.
I need to get a time arranged.

The dentist was a real pain.
But now a missing tooth is there.
Alone with him for the day.
I have to let go of all this fear.

Days are going by and still nothing.
Why am I so very scared?
I guess that rejection is a big thing.
For a long time this i feared.

Cory's birthday what a great day.
V for Vendetta was really good.
I enjoyed the first half more than any.
Words tried to come out but none could.

Truth or truth a simple game.
Now he knows the truth.
8 long months for just 1 thing.
and he knows now too.

Ginny's back what a awesome thing.
I really missed her so.
Today during the movie he held her hand.
Something I didn't want to know.

On the phone and just one game.
20 questions is what it's called.
I found out how he feels about me.
I swear my heart just wants to fall.

Tonights the winter thing what a biggie.
A movie to calm me down.
Watching Balls of Fury with him and Cory.
Holding hands without a sound.

He kissed me and I felt i was dreaming.
My world has just become so fake.
I wonder if he will still be there.
Once tomorrow i awake.

Age is the problem and there is no solution.
Best friends with some sort of fate.
A stupid law is in the way.
A law that i hate.

A promise that nobody should find out.
seemed to be the best solution.
This one night thing is all over.
No more because of reason.

Christmas shopping was the best.
He tagged along and helped me out.
Weird, he held my hand what do i do?
Tightly i grabbed his back without a doubt.

Christmas Eve has rolled along.
Oh my what a great big dinner.
We held hands again today.
I felt just like a winner.

Christmas day is so emotional.
My friends now know the real thing.
I am stuck inside a big dark portal.
I want out right now or something.

8 months and in the same place i stand.
It was like a winding circle.
Best Friends without a cause.
This is time for a miracle.