Comments : Confused and Abused [Part I]

  • 16 years ago

    by AJ Irving

    I think its good so far I hope you keep up the good work A.J.

  • 16 years ago

    by AJ Irving

    Remember 1 for 3

  • 16 years ago

    by jLegendc

    So far so good.. i sent you a message.. so ya.. do mine =]

  • 16 years ago

    by Greg Beam

    Wow this is really good so far. i like how its like a story. definately keep going. hopefully u will get the flow back in your mind soon. 5/5

  • 16 years ago

    by Bekka Smekka

    I love it so far!! i think you've really got something, good luck with the ending!!

  • 16 years ago

    by Sweet lig

    Gosh.. i was emotionally reading this piece! the story was really interesting... it was truly well expressed and very captivated. u had really portrayed the story very well.. just keep it up and well done 5/5

  • 16 years ago

    by Corey Singleton

    Ok ok i feel where u r comin from on this one i like it....:)

  • 16 years ago

    by Hidden1

    Dang this is really deep!!!! You have excellent word play in all your poems. I wish I could make my poems flow as good as yours and the analogies you use are awesome. Keep up the excellent work.

  • 16 years ago

    by EssenceOfLace

    WOW. This was amazing. The flow of this was pretty good, a little rocky in a few areas, but still very good. Your rhyming technique, and word usage were spectacular.
    Although i didnt like in the first stanza how there were quotation marks around "confused" and "abused"
    Maybe, since you are refferring to them as people, capitolize the first letter
    so it would be
    Confused
    and
    Abused
    like their names. just a suggestion.

    I can't wait for part 2!!!
    5/5

  • 16 years ago

    by JEFF

    Heah what happened? I really didn't want it to end. great job loved it. 5/5

  • 16 years ago

    by xxxlOvElY sWeEtHeArTxxx

    I luv this one, you need to get on ya grind and go head and make part 2 cause u drivin crazy here lol..keep up the good work gurl

    ps. i still like yo intellectual conpasity

  • 16 years ago

    by Kitten

    Really great work i love the emotion you put into it

  • 16 years ago

    by noha

    Waw so nice i realy love to read a story in this way, great jop 5/5

  • 16 years ago

    by firexdancer

    This is really good. I'm now looking forward to part 2. lol.
    It was a little confusing and disjointed I think, but it was really beautiful, and very captivating to read. The rhyming seemed a little forced, but it still was a gorgeous poem.
    5/5
    ~gabriella

  • 16 years ago

    by dollwithafrown

    Gahh, I want to know what's happened! I like that I really got into this poem. It was a bit like when reading a novel, when you really get into it and don't want to put it down.

    Next part soon, please! :D

    Haha, well done.

  • 16 years ago

    by Kenny

    Very Very Good!

    Waiting!

    K~

  • 16 years ago

    by Danielle

    Beautifully written.
    i love the metaphors you used.
    wonderful.
    I am looking forward to a part 2!

  • 16 years ago

    by StuPiD FrEaK

    T___T
    It was really sad..
    And I can't wait what's next!!
    Good Job!!

  • 16 years ago

    by Gizmo

    A little effy in a few places, but a good flow and a nice poem.
    metaphors good, imagery too.

    it was a story well told, full of emotion.

    its very good. :] keep up writing

  • 16 years ago

    by xxSnow Angelxx

    So far..So good
    i liked the way you've carried on the poem....waiting for the rest of it....heartfelt storyish write!...
    keep going!
    Luv
    Pooja