Comments : A bird

  • This was such a good poem. Unlike the one I just finished reading. You did a really good job explaining the feeling in this. Although, there are some grammatical errors, and some missing letters/ words, but it's still a beautiful piece. Good job!

    .:CiNdY:.

  • 16 years ago

    by Blissful

    The opening lines to your poem was just great and captured my attention.

    "Someday I'll turn into a little white bird
    And fly a million miles to get to your state"
    ^ I just loved the imagery and hope throughout those lines.

    "That day was sunny, but it seemed like storm
    Thunder, lightening, heart into smithereens
    A window is open... It was the last song
    Of a crying bird with broken wings"
    ^fave stanza ... the last line was so heartbreakingly beautiful.

    Well done*5/5*

  • 16 years ago

    by azii

    Two first lines. so true. i know exactly what u mean here. second stanza is really good too. but i just can't relate to it. the poem is still good. that's just my problem :D
    aww the third stanza is soo sweet.
    fourth. that's really good. the flow is a lil off in this one though but still.
    fifth is great. i can feel it. but then it's like it's not over yet. i think you should continue.. i was hungry for more. and another thing that confuses me, is that the first stanza rhymes, and the flow is really good, but then ... you know. Good job anyway, nd thx for the comments.
    5/5
    tc

  • 16 years ago

    by Lemma

    Especially love the idea of the bird in this one;

    "Of a crying bird with broken wings"

    Such a sad image but really powerful.

    Em xXx

    PS You have a really pretty name!

  • 16 years ago

    by Niinaa

    I love this poem its really good the opening sentences caught my eye... i loved all the emotion in this Great Job 5/5

  • 16 years ago

    by Beautiful Forever

    Very interesting poem. The concept had me stunned. The flow was a little shaky, but the word usage was amazing. A very great write. 5/5