We didn't invite you. Our car was full, then you'd have to take your own, and then you'd want someone to ride with you. "Who wants to ride with her...?"
..."No one!"
So yeah, it's just better that you didn't go... :)

Don't be too serious about life, its not like you're gettin' out alive.

What the DUCK?

God is coming and boy, is she pissed!

My mother never noticed the irony when she called be a son of a *****.

Okay kiddies! Remember: Fat people are harder to kidnap.

Look! It's the leaning tower of Sharpie!

(said by my ex bf Dakota while stacking markers)

I'm not perfect, but I'm workin' on it.
-McDonald's Bag

WWJB
"Who would Jesus Bomb?"

Does it bug anyone else that people ask what time it is when there's a clock 5 inches away from them???