To deliver his gifts in one night, Santa would have to make 822.6 visits per second, sleighing at 3,000 times
the speed of sound.

At that speed, Santa and his reindeer would burst into flame
instantaneously.

Maybe I am, and maybe I AM!!!
-Willy Van Wiggers

"Now that's some high-quality H2O!"
-Waterboy

Garth: si senorita
Kate: muy bein
Garth: gosh, you're that dumb?
Kate: um.......SALSA!!!

Ever get the feeling that the evil monkeys are staring at YOU???

Did anyone hear about that one chick who set her cell phone on vibrate and used it as a d*ldo? Now that's just plain sad.

A real man wouldn't ask you if you wear a thong, he would go shopping for them with you.

hahaha :P -Just thought of it...

I'm a stripper, so.........what do YOU do for a living???

Say this REALLY loud:

"I like Mike Hawk"

hahaha!!!

I really do hope that one day, he will give up on asking me out, can't he see that I'm too good for him???