PMS
Pass My Shotgun

Lady 1: did u miss your husband after he was murdered?

lady 2: well it was a matter of life after death....he died and i had a life.

My friend got arrested for possesion of an offensive face.

Why are men like clouds?

because as soon as they go away the world becomes a brighter place

Wise man once said "i don't knoww ask a woman"

*message y friend sent me*

OMG!! i just got a phone call of god, he sed one of his angels is missing, Shhhhhhhhh i didnt tell him where you were

You dont win the beauty padgent
after you drop the batons
unless you have ice water in your veins pal
bring it on

MAN: your last husband disappeared...

Woman: he was an illusionist.

Man: but he never re-apeared..

Woman: he wasn't a very good illusionist

Husband: hey hunni did u miss me?

wife: with every bullet so far

Guys should be like kleenex soft strong and disposable