You laugh because I'm different...
I laugh cause I just farted!

What are the three words guaranteed to humiliate men everywhere?
"Hold my purse."

Men are like...Mascara.
They usually run at the first sign of emotion.

GREAT REPLY

HE: Your face must turn a few heads.
SHE: And your face must turn a few stomachs.

GREAT REPLY

HE: If I could see you naked, I'd die happy.
SHE: If I saw you naked, I'd die laughing

GREAT REPLY

HE: What would you say if I asked you to marry me?
SHE: Nothing. I can't talk and laugh at the same time.

GREAT REPLY

HE: Hi, Didn't we go on a date once? Or was it twice?
SHE: Must've been once. I never make the same mistake twice.

GREAT REPLY

HE: Can I have your name?
SHE: Why? Dont you already have one?

GREAT REPLY

HE: Is this seat empty?
SHE: Yes, and this one will be too if you sit down.

Men are like...Parking Spots.
The good ones are taken and the rest are too small.