I'm so stuck in between

I want to kiss you so badly
that I get goosebumps everytime I think of the moments we shared
But then again
I get goosebumps everytime I think of how horrible I felt during those days

I'm so stuck in between.

I can honoustly say
I have never felt
so bad
so screwed up
so afraid
so lost
so head over heals in love
without you

I'm starting to realize
I'm nothing without you
And that I let go of my world
the moment I watched you leave

Some of those heartbroken-lovesongs
can just slap you in the face
'cause they describe
exactly the way you're feeling.

How can heartache just strike you
when you least expect it?
I thought I was over you
but now I just want to kiss you so badly
and realizing I can't
makes me just want to kill myself
even more.

Maybe I don't know much about
history
math
or whatever they say
But I do know
that it will be damn hard for me to forget you.

I guess
everything changed between us
after all we've been through together
I guess
in a while
i will mean nothing to you anymore
if I ever meant anything to you at all

Just when I've got the feeling
you left my mind for good
I remember those days
when you were still mine
and the way I felt while you kissed me
Realizing it won't ever be the same
and I will never feel the way I felt
those days.

Maybe it's not worth all this pain
Maybe you're just not worth all this pain.

In fact
we never grew up.
Remember when we were little children
crying for things we couldn't have?
Guess what
Now there are boys instead of toys.