Hey! Wanna make $$$$$$ fast? Just follow my simple instructions. 1:Hold down the Shift key 2:Press the number 4 six times. It's that easy.

I'm not going to cry and I'm not going to care, 'cause every time I did it got me nowhere. So if silence makes you happy and being with him makes you glad, then goodbye. I hope he's the worst you ever had.

She's so far out of my league she's playing for the other team.

Friendship is really weird. Like, you just pick some humans you've met and you're like, "Yup, I like these ones." And you just do stuff with them.

If i could do anything it would be to kiss you in the middle of the street, on the rainiest day of the year

I wanna be the guy you fall for when everyone else is falling for you.

I'm an optimist. I didn't lose a sock in the dryer. I found an extra one!

Be careful who you call friends. 4 quarters are better than 100 pennies.

Find someone who is honest, laughs when you make fun of them, and then give each other orgasms.

Kiss her in the middle of her sentence so you don't have to hear what she's talking about.