Psychiatrists don't prescribe viagra.
-Kat

We might have to drop a D-cell battery in a sock to take care of this.
-Jason

We will die a slow and painful death, but we will not be stressed out.
-MM

My parents have these manx cats, and I hate to pet them, because there's no closure.
-Jordan

The reason for the platypus.

I was licking an ice cream cone, when I just--Schomp! It fell in his lap.
-Mel

No matter how much college education you get, you still ghetto at the table.
-Nick

When I desire the thunder
hallowed and refined
I realize a whisper
is just as much Divine
-Gabriel Martinez

The second worst lie I ever told was, "I love you." The worst, "I never did."

I prayed for super, Hulk-like strength.
-Mario