I took the interview. They said, "No." They were afraid I would actually enforce the rules.
-J.D.

I'm a 300 lb black woman...on the inside.
-Jason

I'm from a third world country! I haven't eaten in two weeks!
-Dino

They thought we were mad at them because we stopped stalking them.
-Erin

You have live sheep and camels walking through your drive-thru nativity-? This is why I worship Satan.
-Alex

This obsession has had control too long, want to consummate all these thoughts unthought wrong.

That is so adorkable!

Just like Adam Lazarra, there's no point to cutting you down, because the truth is, that I could slit your throat, and with your one last dying breath, you'd apologize for bleeding on my shirt.

You're the reason I love
You're the reason I try
You are the reason I am still alive

Call the priest! 'Cause I don't think the ambulance can help me.
-Jay