You don't take kids to Cabaret. Unless you want to. I'd take my kids to Cabaret.
-Stephen

It's not easy being gay in a fraternity. You have to show em who's boss.
-Eric

I got drunk at a klingon party.
-David

You blow up another mailbox, the car is gone.
- Dad, to son

Isn't it ironic that the thing you gave life has the power to take it from you? I wonder if the same is true of God. Do you think man could've killed God and usurped his place?

Oh, my God, you look like a rainbow exploded!
-J.D.

The gnomes sell my used sandals on the black market.
-Davey

I'm getting up in the middle of this flight. I've had four beers, I'm going to use the bathroom. I'm starting a revolution!
- Turner

I just scored, now I'm gonna play.
-Elliot

If somebody random comes up and says, "I'm gonna steal their bras." Just ignore them.