Needing confidence in my work

Broken Dreams

Pollinated zephyrs dancing under
the scarlet cirrus of the morning sky.
A Casanova lies on a broken bed,
listening to an unfettered harlot's hymn.
The citrine iris of a wolf crooning
the morns of a waning moon.
Piano timbre obsolete-
indistinct pools of tears
have destroyed the keys endeavors.
Artists isolated by the censor,
Poets lyrics tacit, ensuing emotional strife.
Musicians oblivious to the splendor,
of their euphoric creations.
A child's virtue mute
in the fields of Elysium.
Utopia desiring a social asylum.
Anarchy futile for entirety lies in turmoil.
All that is sought has been brought by naught.
Broken footprints in the sand impedes
running to the shores of insular souls.
The king's eyes aghast in despair
as he looks upon the horde of
conflagration and pitchforks.
Mortality standing on the precipice
as the friable halo of innocence
balances on it.

(Plz dont be afraid to critize my work, i need it)

1. there is no set flow
2. no stanzas
3. no ryhming

this poem just seems to be a bunch of ideas slapped together without any structure. it is like an idea splash one would do before making it into a poem. it need to be refined, edited, ect.

I left you a comment on that piece. I think that it is amazing :)

Please comment on my latest one if you have time. Thanks in advance.

Poems do not need to be broken into stanza's just so you know

I agree with Evanescence; poems do not need to have stanzas. Moreover, no rhyming is fine and more common than rhyming ones in the modern world.

Nonetheless, I did not understand this poem.

I didn't really understand it. Poems don't have to rhyme or be broken into multiple stanzas. So you're fine as far as that goes. Great job.

I believe that this poem is far too abstract to draw anything of great consequence out of in the first read-through. However, the second time I looked at it I felt like I had a tighter grasp of what the speaker was trying to convey (anyone who has read "My Last Duchess" or Humbert's "Wanted" poem may be able to relate to what I mean.)

I did take note of how sounds and extracted visuals ("timbre," for example) were used to create some imagery. However, if I was not a musician (pianist/guitarist) I may not have picked up on such a specific term. However, to me it made it clear what you were trying to do to the piece.

I personally (and I am no expert - this is just my strictly-amatuer opinion) believe that some poems do not have a strictly concrete meaning for everyone, but vary from person to person, left open for interpretation and inference. So what if your work isn't totally mainstream?

If I had to give you any advice, I would say to add some clearer, more concrete meaning to it so that people who do not take poetry as inner expressiveness can have a firmer grasp on what you are trying to say. Maybe a few more literal lines here and there.

Oh, and I liked the Casanova compare/reference. That's what drew me into the poem in th first place - it gave me an idea of what sort of image was being portrayed for the audience.

Either way, I think it is a wonderful piece and I wish you the best of luck. And keep in mind that not everyone here is a straight-A English lit. major (myself included.) We're here because we love poetry. So, just keep writing. I'll keep reading.

[</3er]

HUH? didnt think my work was so complicated. i thought it was very clear. it was just about people dreams being smashed regarding thier situations but i do know that people can read my poetry and interpert it as something else. i will try to make more rhyming poetry but i dont really like writing them as much because i feel i am limited to my words. i am a pure free verse writer.

(Some lines are broken down in meaning, hope it helps some of you)

Pollinated zephyrs dancing under
the scarlet cirrus of the morning sky. (red sky in moring, im sure u all have seen one, wannta to make a scence like armagddeon.)
A Casanova lies on a broken bed,
listening to an unfettered harlot's hymn. ( talks about virgins becoming non-virgins, loses thier innocnental impact according to promiscious man)
The citrine iris of a wolf crooning
the morns of a waning moon. (wolf yellowish green eye peirces the night sky, hes sad becuase morning is rising)
Piano timbre obsolete-
indistinct pools of tears
have destroyed the keys endeavors.( got inspriation from my dads piano playing, if there is tears ie water, the keys and thier sound will become muted or affected and not as pristine)
Artists isolated by the censor,
Poets lyrics tacit, ensuing emotional strife. (imagine if someone took your ability to speak freely in your poetry, wouldnt cha feel sad and pissed)
Musicians oblivious to the splendor,
of their euphoric creations. (imagine bethoven's case)
A child's virtue mute
in the fields of Elysium. (if a childs innonecne and purity cannot be shown in heaven, there is something wrong)
Utopia desiring a social asylum.
Anarchy futile for entirety lies in turmoil. ( perfection will never happen and eradication will never happen for everything is already in ruins)

(should get the hang of it now)

Every1 plz read my other "good one" called
The rose I can't have