Pregnant and stuck.

Im pregnant. ive wanted this since last november. both me and my boyfriend. im only 16 and im happier than ever and so is he. right now he is in pennsylvania trying to save up money for our new family. uggh i cant wait. im only 2 months and some weeks but the thing is...we have no room. right now im living in a hotel room with my mom dad and sister. hes up there living in a house with his mom brother sister and neice and i think some cousins. financial problems are a big thing now.

he wants me to go up there with him but im still kind of in this huge debate. should i go and begin a new life for the best of all three of us or should i stay down here?? idk. im confused and stressed but no matter what my decision is my child comes first. im just asking for advice. thanks.

^^I agree with Amanda 100%

Oh silly silly girl. what a mistake you've made. 16 with a baby? that never works well. my mom was 16 when she had me. her and dad were "so in love" and they got married when i was born..lived together. mom stayed with me, dad worked all day everyday. that lasted NINE months. divorce. sometimes love doesnt conquer all.

i work full time and am going to be starting college soon, and i take care of myself and my boyfriend that lives here. and i can hardly even afford ONE person, let alone the thought of having to take care of two people. life will be very very hard on you now.

now granted, when i was 17. i really wanted a baby. thank goodness i didnt get myself into the situation you're in, because the real world came and bit me in the butt. you'll see....its too late to go back. but if i were you i'd get a part time job to help save up between now and then, because you'll need every cent you can get.

I agree a million% with Britt and Amanda. Not only do you need a job but you'll need one that has health insurance. What are you going to do when your baby gets sick and you can't afford the copay? My mom had me at 18...got pregnant at 17. I do have to say that she was already out of high school and I was not planned. But you seriously need a reality check. I am 19 years old and am still a virgin because I've seen how much my mom struggled raising me and I don't want to risk getting pregnant. Me and my mom lived with my grandparents because she couldn't do it on her own...and statistics are that most teenage boys don't stick around. Once the tough gets going..they go...and leave you on your own...he may say it now that he'll be there...but only for so long he'll have enough of it and will leave...Be a kid...you only have so much time for that. Don't be selfish and be smart...think about the baby and give it to a family who WANTS and is READY to have a baby..leave the bf...and find yourself a better one...

"...but the thing is we have no room... financial problems are a big thing now..."

^ Those are some of the things you're supposed to think about before having a baby & that you're suppose to take care of beforehand, especially if this is something you "planned". You say you've been ready to have a baby since you were 15, but your "readiness"; mentally & financially, doesn't show. I highly doubt that you were prepared to take on the responsibilities as a parent; a mother. Love just isn't enough, a baby requires much more than that. How do you plan on providing or caring for this child with all the proper necessities; food, formula, clothing, diapers, a home, daycare, health care, time, etc.? You have no financial stability. You can't exactly be a homemaker, you're going to need all the money you can get to provide not only for your baby but for yourselves as well. Are you or your boyfriend (I'm not sure how old he is) going to finish school, plan to go to college/university, have a job or plan to get a job (part-time or full-time)? I'm sure your family will be more than willing to help you as much as they can, as well as I'm sure his family would do the same, but that's not their responsibility. You & your boyfriend are the parents, it's your responsibility.

I don't understand how you are more worried about moving in with your boyfriend than you are of having a baby, I'd be more worried about not being able to provide or care for my child. If you were so sure you were "ready", why do you have doubts?

I think that until you are able to get YOUR life on track that'd be best for you & the baby to remain at home with your family; they're your surest & safest form of support & stability. If you're boyfriend truly loves you & cares for your baby then he would want what's best for the two of you.

Agree with all said above..

The thng is we planned it before all this stuff happened. your all right. im young and in love. i still have a lot of growing up to do. i know that. and the thing im scared about moving up there with him is because i know im going to get homesick. defintly because ive been down here all my life around my friends and family. i do agree and im not getting mad. things just started after i found out i was. thank you for your advice. hes coming back down here to stay at the beginning of august and we are going to look at apartments. hes getting his monthly checks and hes been working to save up money. i got a little side job for the time being until i save up a little bit of money. thanks again for all of your comments. and ya know my parents did raise me like this. i changed alot because ive been hanging with the wrong crowd.

I looked around for some statistics after I read this post... I found this:

Teenage Childbearing & Parenting

1) In general, teenage mothers do not fare as well as their peers who wait to have children
2) Their family incomes are lower
3) They are more likely to become poor and receive welfare
4) They are less educated
5) They are less likely to be married
6) Their children lag in standards of early development

The Effects of Teenage Pregnancy on the Parents

1) In 2002, only 10% of teenage mothers aged 15-17 had graduated from high school
2) After giving birth it is estimated that only 33% of teenage mothers will eventually graduate from high school and only 1.5% will receive a college degree by age 30
3) Although not as severe as the effects on teen mothers, early childbearing affects the fathers of children born of teen mothers as well. They are more likely to participate in deliquent behaviors such as drug dealing, drug using, alcohol abuse and are more likely to complete fewer years of education than their peers

The Effects of Teenage Pregnancy on the Children

1) The effects of teen preganancy have the most effect on the children
2) Children of teen pregnancies are more likely to not receive the proper prenatal care because of financial difficulties of the mother and/or the father, therefore are more likely to become hospitalized for poor nutrition, low birth weight, and other childhood health problems
3) The offspring of teenage mothers are more likely to be poor, abused and neglected than those of women who delay childbearing, and they are also less likely to receive the proper nutrition, health care, coginitive and social stimulation
4) Children born to teen mothers are also more likely to have greater risk of intellectual and academic achievement and social behavioral problems
5) Children born to teen mothers are also more likely to be incarcarated, not finish high school, be unemployed and also are likely to become teen parents themselves

These statistics were provided by Planned Parenthood.

^ All agreed.

Every family goes through ups and downs and have a hard time with money...You just asking what to do shows you're not ready. Every family goes through it and doesn't ask questions or ask someone for advice to make it better. They just ride it out, and hope for the best. Like I said, you asking questions, shows you're not ready at ALL!

And like I said in my last post...Be a kid, live your teenage years to the fulest...without a baby.

I agree with all said:

ur both teens. do u know how expensive a child is? u have to buy diapers, clothes, formula, food,

do u think ur going to have a good job if u dont get ur high schoool diploma?

not to be mean, but do u think tht ur boyfriend is going to stay with u forever? 10% of high school sweethearts stay together. and when u have a child, it complicates ur relationship more.

ur having financial problems. do u think ur family is going to pay for ur kid too? most likely not.

Ok... I know you came in here to get everyones opinion on whether you should move in or not, not whether you should of had a baby or not... that wasnt the question right?!

Well, I think its in your best interest to do what you think is right for you and the baby...

Since he is happy, and it was planned then maybe you should take a shot at moving in with him... but since you say hes coming back then thats really good! Congratulations on your baby... and the best of luck with everything!! :)
-Jazmin-

It was obvious that if she wanted our opinion whether she should have a baby it was obvious that we were all going to tell her to wait and to do it... whats done is done...
and now her priority is taking care of the baby and trying to find the best interest for her and mostly this baby.... Telling her everything is not going to change the fact that she is pregnant... I came in this to tell her what she wanted everyones opinion on! Not to tell her that she made a big mistake, or that she was wrong for planning it... at the end she is the one supporting the baby not us...

Actually, chances are i WILL be taking care of it. those taxes taken out of my pay check every week will most likely go towards her, and all teens LIKE her who did this and are not going to be able to support it. i'd rather my tax dollar go to something not stupid, but hey, i can't decide that.

I think she should give the baby up for adoption

Totally agree with Wasted Fake Smiles and Amanda of course!! I voiced my opinion on this already, and I still have the same opinion on this.

First of all we got a steady income now. we had to make some phone calls about this one job and guess what he got it. i dont need your damn tax money. keep it.

Well I am very glad to hear that he got that job...

I hope everything goes well, you should keep going to school and pursue a career like Amanda said...
I had a friend who had a baby when she was 16 and it was harder but she is still going to college and everything... she is still with the baby of her father and they plan on marrying next year. She is 19 now... I am so proud of her...

Best of luck!!

Actually im looking into online classes. ive signed up for them a week or so ago. and i understand what your saying i really do and i appreciate the help and advice youve given me. i was never planning on dropping out. i want to go to college. i want to open up my own fashion store. or be a vetenerian(sorry bout the spelling) im going to finish school and thats a promise.

I hope your teacher doesn't count off for your grammar.

But seriously, I agree 100% with Amanda and everyone else, but I also wanted to wish you luck. It's going to be hard on you, your boyfriend, and your child. So even though I don't fully agree with what you've done with your life as of right now, I wish you luck and sense in the future.

Your having a baby? Hun you are still just a baby yourself.. But I wish you luck. A baby is the most precious gift anyone can be graced to have. It's going to change your life for sure.. But it'll be worth it when you look into that baby's eyes for the first time. Times are hard everywhere.. But talk to your dad and talk to your bf.. Make a decision based on that.. Think about that baby hun..

Congrats and good luck

Well, she IS an adult now. She's pregnant and needs to hear a second, honest side of it. Sjje already went about it wrong when she planned and underaged, unstable pregnancy.. But I do hope she makes it through this.. But I don't agree with using our tax dollars to help out a feeble poorly made decision from a kid herself.. But I hope she does ood

''Another example of teenage hormones taking over.. YOu were seriously ready to be a mom at 15? I doubt that because your actuall 'readiness' shows.''

My grandmother started having children at 16, she ended up having 16 children altogether if she feels ready than she is ready. Plain and simple. Don't understand why everyone has to look down on people that are in their teenage years.

^^Def. agree!

Ryan,

No one is looking down on her because she is a teen. Why this is a controversy, is because she planned this when she doesn't have the money to raise a child. Her asking if she should move in with her bf is a sign to me that she is not ready to have and raise a family.

I am not against teen pregnancy, my mom was 18 when she had me. Out of high school, already had a job, and had health insurance. She never went to college because she had to take care of me. But we still had to live with my grandparents because 1. my biological father didn't help at all financially and 2. she couldn't afford bills and everything else while taking care of me.

"My grandmother started having children at 16, she ended up having 16 children altogether" . . . Those years and these years now are totally different now. . .

"the thing im scared about moving up there with him is because i know im going to get homesick"

You're two months pregnant and all you're truly worried about is getting homesick? What an utter joke. Doesn't happen often, but I don't quite know what to say to you.

Oh: about 80% of the link I've posted below may have absolutely no association with your own dilemma/situation/life...but it seemed the closest to appropriate thread for me to share this in.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6uneIieUrgI

Absurdity in its most raw form.

"if she feels ready than she is ready."

lol this has to be the most ill informed opinion I have seen in a while. Being ready means you have your own life together, when you haven't finished, school and you are not financially prepared, that's 2 big check marks on the "not ready" side of things. Believe me if my daughter came home @ 15 and said she wanted a baby, I wouldn't pat her on the back for being so ready. Maybe I am closed minded for believing you should live life before you make it. Once you have kids, it is not just you who suffer from your bad judgments and mistakes, in fact the children suffer the most.

My grandmother had 10 children, she also grew up in a much different time, with much different values.

No one is saying that you can't succeed when you end up a young parent, but if you can't even figure out the simple things, how are you going to deal with the hard things?

It was a selfish want, but what's done is done, there is no going back now. Boyfriend or no boyfriend, ready or not, motherhood is hers for the rest of her life, I just hope she takes it seriously and raises a happy healthy child.

But she nis NOT ready.. Watch. The government.. Our tax dollars really is going to be taking care of her screw up. A child is not like a new puppy that you can just push off to the side

I would never push my puppies aside wither lol I love hem to death they ARE my children lol

Well im 17 years old and i have a 2 month old baby boy. who i love so much.. hes my world but ths sad part is my boyfriend was all for having a baby he was there for me untill things got hard for us then he just left me and the baby to take care of ourself... im not saying ur boyfriend is going to leave you but its time for the real world!! having a baby at a young age is very stupid and i wish i could of known that before cuz i have no time for fun.. i go to school then get out go to work till 10:30 then come home and take care of my baby the rest of the night. but i do hope everything works out for you better than it did for me

*Dominique*

Be with your boyfriend. You're having a child together. I feel like I'm missing something. I don't understand your confusion.

Also, I'm sure you've heard it all before.. but it's irresponsible to try for a baby when you're not even financially stable. Babies require nourishment and shelter, in the very least. They are little, soft, helpless humans who want your constant attention. Diapers and baby bottles and car-seats and babysitters and toys and baths and cradles and heaps of other nonsense - nothing at all like puppies! Think about hospital bills and health care. Yikes.

Anyway, I wish you the best. You're braver than me! Even the thought of having a baby now, at 20, makes me want to poop in my pants. That's about 20 years unconditional, irrevocable commitment you're promising. That is if you plan on being a reliable parent, which I'm sure you are.

I think you should move in with him where you have him with you to help take care of the baby and have the money and room for you guys because really you wouldn't want you kid to be born and live in a hotel with no room or anything that is if you would still be there but I think you should move in with your boyfriend

Im sorry but i think it was totally wrong to get pregnant on purpose your 16 years old, not even out of school and obviously dont have the money or a place to be able to support a child. my friend is 16 and she just had a baby. shes doing really good but she didnt plan it out now shes got alot of respnsiblities to take care of its hard you dont know what your getting yourself into. you shouldve waited.

Why would you want a baby? They smell so bad.

That's why you have to spray them with perfume and lather them in delicious smelling Johnson's baby oil... duh.

Why bother even moving in with him. i will bet you everything i own to a penny from you that in 2 years time you wont even be on speaking terms with him, let alone still together.and i know these words are just gonna rile you up but you have concocted some childish fantasy in your mind where a baby is gonna somehow magicaly make everything all sunshine and rainbows. it would actually be funny if it wasnt so sad, but luv , you are in for a rude awakening in the not so distant future. and it dosnt even bother me that you have just purposelymessed up your whole life, but unfortounately the new life you are brining into the world will have to pay for your childish stupidity. poor little guy