Masterpoet Tournament: Heat 1

It is past my bedtime. I waited long. I waited hard. The third judge didn't respond. He is on my black list and I will possibly find his poetry a little lacklustre from now on. Just kidding. Just kidding.

Anyway. I will post the results now as promised, and I shall look for a good and faithful judge for the rest of the tournament. My comments are posted below, along with other judges' remarks... I feel a little exposed knowing you know I'm one of the judges, but I hope you trust it's okay.

I have wanted to make this challenge as transparent as possible, so practically everything is on display. You shall find the poems had to be scored numerically for the sake of determining elimination. 13 points was awarded to the most worthy poem, through to 1 point for the least. The three individual scores from the judges are in brackets next to the accumulated score.

There are also some comments from the judges left under the poem. I think this is the most important part of the contest.

I invite you to leave your feedback on the results. Was it fair? Was it ridiculous? Do you want to defend your poem with a mighty sword? Do it. But please don't call the judges any names because that's not nice.

Thank you again to all who participated and congratulations to the top 10. However, there were some remarkable disparities in some of the scores and I'd like you all to comment on those poems in particular.

Heat 2 starts in 11 hours, my pretties. Mwahahaha.

Errrmm...our third judge has just made contact and sends this apology:
"I'm so sorry I haven't been in touch -- I've been going under a lot of ... work and I've only had my phone internet which consequently only allows me to view, not send any messages. (it's a crap phone) I'm in an internet cafe at the moment trying to catch up..I'm sorry I haven't had chance to comment but here are what I feel are the best - worst poems."

So, he's back in my good books. But now I shall have to quickly recalculate everything. Bear with me. Check my calculations please. I think I might be hallucinating.

He was unable to leave many comments, only his scores, so I would still like to leave mine as a little muddy gift to you. My comment will be the last one under each.

HEAT 1 RESULTS:

35 points (13+13+9):
India

"unique, creative, and well-worded"

"This poem took a while to grow on me, but I ended up moving it to the top of my picks. At first I worried that it might be overly romantic, but there are a few touches of reality that add some contrast. I liked to see the smells of rot and dung interspersed with 'lily and lilac'. I liked 'the expansiveness of the raw desert' and the sense of the inadequacy of poetic description. This feeling was expressed most potently, I thought, in the second to last stanza. The demand 'tell me' is real and frustrated, and the images that follow are my favourite in the poem. Maybe in order to know a place you can't just talk about it - you have to smell it and feel it and taste it."

"The most evocative poem entered in this heat- it needs some fine-tuning for maximum impact...but there is already much impact. The images and emotions are conveyed brilliantly, sensually. I appreciated how the last stanza has a simple, hopeless rhyme to it- it contrasts magnificently with the rest of the poem and sets it alight."

------
29 points (12+12+5):
Strange Rider

"This poem kind of hooked me from the first read. I think it's intriguing and mysterious, and I don't really know what's going on. I'm good with the loose rhyming; it makes the poem feel vaguely like an old song. Got a very 'Highwayman' feel from this one. My only real beef is with 'On Saturday,' which I think throws off the rhythm. I can see why the content of that line might be important to the story unfolding, but I wonder if there's a better way to say it that doesn't stand in the way of the beat."

"short-lived, shallow and was merely a subjective mini-treatment for what could've been a short film. Mysterious but not the kind of mysterious that made me want to read it again."

"A very cool poem illustrating how rhyme and beautiful rhythm can be used to enhance expression. There is very little that has actually happened in this poem, but much more is conveyed and felt through some nifty use of technique. I am left hanging in suspense."

------
29 points (6+10+13):
Within My Wisdom

"fantastic -- just needs a little direction."

"My favourite part of this poem was the repetitive nature of things the poet cannot do. I'm not sure why, but it worked for me. It has a sense of people in love wanting to needing the impossible a reality."

"A most mysterious poem. There are some vivid lines here that get drowned by more and more confusing drama. There are also some language errors that affected my reading. I did not understand the significance of the one-line stanzas tagged with ">" of all things. However, there is a poetic breath with lots of potential in this poem and that cannot be overlooked."

------
28 points (9+11+8):
Sounds of Silence

"The strengths of this poem are its overall style and its feeling of authenticity. I wouldn't be surprised to learn that this writer is working from experience. I would encourage the author to have a critical eye when it comes to using any language that doesn't pack any sort of punch. I like to think of words as expensive- you don't want to use them in your poem if they don't carry their weight. This seems most apparent in stanza three, where I think the author was looking for a good way to express his or her feelings, as well as transition to the last stanza. To me this third stanza carried less oomph than the others, but I can't really fault for that - it happens to me more often than not. I thought the sense of voice and the realism of the content made the poem pretty vivid and relatable."

"I have a feeling this poet can write but there was too much to convey here. There are some very lucid images being portrayed and a sense of terror and hopelessness. It felt real but it could have achieved greater effect if it wasn't didn't sound so affected. There are a few too many unnecessary words. And remember Vonnegut's first rule: Don't use
semi-colons-- they are transvestite hermaphrodites that represent nothing except show you've been to college."

------
26 points (8+6+12):
Traffic.

"I feel like the spirit of this poem was somewhat dragged down by heavy language. I liked "time lapses as
thoughts stream
like oncoming traffic" "

"Interesting ideas, quite well written. Clever. That's about it."

-------
26 points (11+8+7):
Butterflies

"Small, sweet, inconsequential- just like its topic."

"blush colour" doesn't fit. Haikus should be striking. This one can't be faulted for anything except being ordinary."

-----
20 points (3+7+10):
Shattered Glass

"I liked the tension between leaving and staying, and that freeing sense of leaping into something new. The style reminds me of high school poem class, for better or for worse. I think this author has some moxie, and I'd like to see them push a little more."

"There was something very surreal and liberating in this poem. Something breaking, loud noise, chaos, reality. It could have been a lot better written, but this poet has something."

-------
17 points (10+1+6):
Gentle Wishes

"It wasn't the worst thing ever, but from the name to the final line it made no impression on me except one of... fake rose fragrance. You know?"

"This was a very wishy-washy type of poem. Tritely written, there was a sense of the sweet and fantastical nature of love and the darkness that lurks underneath. Nice and pleasant. The last line was the weakest, which is a critical flaw."

-------
13 points (5+4+4):
Just a Thought

"I liked the idea of love passing like a day, but I thought it lost interest from there."

"There's some nice little bits in here, portraying the idea of Love being an entity on its own. However, much of it was cliche, the rhyming was often precarious and the beat was off."

------
12 points (4+5+3):
The Picture

"Good topic, fine angle, banal wording."

"This had a strong message that was communicated as series of statements with no further depth of feeling, which is unfortunate as the theme of this piece is superficiality. "simply" and "un-hearing" did not work. The reader is only being told everything. There is no sense of wonder at the last line."

---------
10 points(7+2+1):
Tomorrow's Yesterday.

"The most interesting part was the end quote, which unfortunately is original to tombstones, and not the author."

"Though there was a lot of fluffy content to wade through and the lines were laboured, I have to credit for the honest sentiment and effort behind this poem."

------
7 points (2+3+2)
Fear of the unknown

"I doubt this will be eliminated, so for next time: I would strongly suggest some more editing. I think the goofy format had promise, but I was too thrown off by some of the spelling and grammatical errors. "Its" does not have an apostrophe unless it's a contraction of "it is." This holds true even if "it" is being used as a possessive, as in "Johnny's vodka" or "Wal-Mart's lawsuit." It's a quirk of English, but there it is. One or two of these I would have overlooked, but there were a whole smattering of them. I guess you could make a case for "It" being a name, but that's the only reason I can see? Basically, I'm not sure if it was a thoughtfully intentioned use of the mark. Other apostrophes are missing, so I just assumed it was by accident. The main reason I gave it so few points, though, is because I read the whole poem through a few times and I still can't tell what it's saying, both in individual lines and as a whole."

"No idea what this is about. After several attempts, I didn't want to know. It is riddled with grammatical errors and childish technique. There are some phrases here, though, that show that this poet has some potential with more maturity and more reading."

---------
RETIRED FROM TOURNAMENT
21 points (1+9+11):
A light return

"This poem made absolutely no sense to me. English couldn't possibly be this writer's first language."

"The language of this poem was a bit tricky to get into (was it a
non-English writer?) but once there it was certainly fine."

"The poem in broken English I found fascinating because of its fluidity-- I've been reading a lot of Iraqi poetry as of late and it's influencing my view on English. There's a difference between bad grammar and what conjures up more imagery because of how its written."

"Ugh...this is trying very hard to be clever and cryptic. It doesn't leave any impression on first read except confusion and irritation- this is its biggest flaw. The conflict between the flippant language and the raw delivery was uncomfortable, but intriguing. After exerting some effort in trying to decipher it, I discovered a few lovely things in the third stanza. At least, I think I did. It's about the poet returning inevitably to writing, knowing full well that it's no good... like trying to capture a river inside a glass. There is no pure freedom in it, words are limited and made of lock and key. Such was my impression. Given the nature and theme of the poem, I think the light, scattered voice in this poem is a little
forgivable.
-------------------------------------

The last three listed poems are eliminated.

For all members out there who would really want to improve their grammar ( since it is essential!!) :

http://leo.stcloudstate.edu/catalogue.html

Sharing is caring:)

Yes, love you too:)

Indeed congratulations to those who entered and are moving forward.

By the way, are we allowed to post our poems now? Just want to make sure. :)

Oh man thank u !! and ya can we submit them yet?

congratulations everybody..this is much fun and creative..indeed
Im sure all the comments will be taken into consideration

nd hah lol Ingrid ...very nice XD

Cool! I'm glad I participated. Whose idea was a Rounds Contest again? It's pretty freaking awesome.

Congrats to those moving on. Better luck next time to the other 3 ;)

This is really an awesome contest sofar!

I would've LOVED to participate in this awesome contest. Unfortunately, didn't even know about it 'till today.
However, I felt like these judges are really quite good at critiquing as I feel like everything they have commented upon was greatly jusitfied and I too agreed with.
I have a secret bias to India as I am totally brown and crazy proud so I couldn't have agreed more with it's winning this heat.
:)
Hare Krishna.

LoL.

I won't be taking part in the next round, even though I made it through by a large margain.

I don't mind people not getting the meaning of my work, that is ok, but when they take their lack of understanding as a sign of the poems weakness, and not a sign of their poor understanding, I know I'm better off not putting another piece in.

"This poem made absolutely no sense to me. English couldn't possibly be this writer's first language."

"The language of this poem was a bit tricky to get into (was it a
non-English writer?) but once there it was certainly fine."

These kinds of comments clearly show a very basic grasp of what is a poem and what is not. I'd suggest new judges for round 2, seasoned judges who have a more varied grasp of english and poetry.

Grats to everyone else who also made it through and best of luck in the next round.

I don't think the new poems are supposed to be posted yet. I'm sure Abby will have a diabolical twist of some sort!

Nice to see everyone's scores and read the comments!

You realize Kevin you as well as everyone else had a fair warning that if you didn't want your poem critiqued, you were supposed to speak up and say something. I don't really think you can blame anyone for this one.

Kevin, I know what you mean, but don't take it this way really :). I understand how you feel but still We are here to expect gd or bad results..and i knw its not what bothered u but U shouldnt give up yet, Cause Im sure you missunderstood things..u know what.. I'll pm you ..check!

Well, it seems we have one challenger retiring due to injury...of pride.

(Kevin. Seriously? I totally suppport your right to defend your poetry but leaving the contest in a huff? Hahaha. My judges are really awesome, actually. I chose them. And I think most of the comments and scores you received were pretty fair. Hilarious, considering English is your native language, but fair, considering you were anonymous. Only one judge didn't like it. The fact that your poem generated the most varied comments and scores speaks highly of your unique and challenging style. Cool your top, pumpkin pie.)

This means that the writer of 'The Picture' is back in the game.

Does anyone have any observations on the poems that generated the most varied scores? E.g. Gentle Wishes, A light return, Strange Rider? I find it interesting how the same poem can be graded quite differently. What are the qualities in these poems that appeal or not to you? Can you sympathise with the disparity of the judges' scores?

Any non-particpating but interested parties (such as Dixiedaisy) are most welcome to contribute to this part of the contest. Even the anonymous judges may leave their opinions.

Congrats to all moving on to the next round.

Kevin I understand your feelings but ...
when in a challenge you must take the critique given to you with your mind and not your heart.
You can agree with it or disagree with it ... but in the end you will always learn something from it.
And set your mind to ''blow their minds " in the next round hun, You CAN do it !!!

Good luck to everyone entering the next round.

Hey Luanne,

I've let Kevin go. You can't cage a wild animal with a thorn in its backside.

Much love to you, Kevin. I reckon you should open a diary thread here called "Kevin's Adventures In America". I want updates.

Thanks for your comments, Britt.

I noticed that after Abby ... I'm slow on the draw sometimes ... lol

"I don't mind people not getting the meaning of my work, that is ok, but when they take their lack of understanding as a sign of the poems weakness, and not a sign of their poor understanding, I know I'm better off not putting another piece in."

Kevo, it looks like that wasn't the case at all. Didn't one person rate you as third highest? And another fifth? Apparently at least two of the judges saw something worthy there. You can't just be miffed you didn't get the top billing this time around!

It does raise some interesting questions on what is and what isn't a poem, though. If only the author can read it, is it a poem? And if so, does that automatically make it eligible to be a good one?

Come on noobs, I hit send to a PM to Abby and wrote the poem in about 6 minutes.

If you have a sparky thought that must be written down...just let it go.

^^^

These are your own words, Kevin. I am sure that if you had put some more effort in your work, it would have been valued differently. I read your poem and it really does show that you wrote it in so few minutes.

I am dissapointed in the way you handled the critique, I thought you were bigger than that!

Guyz Come on..There is no need for more.. He decided to leave, and Abby who is responsible for this contest replied him. Lets not all tell him what he should do.
It's over!

Yes let's be positive... This contest deserves such

Firstly a big thanks to Abby for organizing such a fantastic imaginative contest xxx

Secondly thanks to the three judges for giving their time, energy and putting there critiques up for judgement, which is harder than writing the poems I think.

I'm such a...jerk.

: )

Kevin if we don't get with the program ,we could end up like Elvis."Presley made what would be his only appearance on Nashville's Grand Ole Opry on October 2; after a polite audience response, Opry manager Jim Denny told Phillips that his singer was "not bad" but did not suit the program"

"You ain't nothin but a hound dog
Cryin all the time.
You ain't nothin but a hound dog
Cryin all the time.
Well, you ain't never caught a rabbit
And you ain't no friend of mine.

Well they said you was high classed
Well, that was just a lie.
Yeah they said you was high classed
Well, that was just a lie.
Yeah, you ain't never caught a rabbit
And you ain't no friend of mine."
Elvis Presey

Where was Dixiedaisy?

de K
de agony of de-feat is not as bad as de agony of de-butt ....Sic.

If at first you don't suceed try..try...again
*EDIT
If I seem out of line I am sorry, but I only hope that no one is discouraged by anonymous critiques
With the bonus round the ones or 1's may be less humiliating XD

*edited

Abby, this is your beautiful contest, hun. I posted something to make clear someone was out of line, but wth.

Kevin, the people who said something about your poem were doing you a favor. Think about that long and hard.

It was a pun to defend all colloquial expression. I want to accept my defeat with grace, without giving up being true to my own nature.

"The most interesting part was the end quote, which unfortunately is original to tombstones, and not the author."

I did not respond by saying oh yea! oh yea!! well yo mama so fat when she fart Al Gore declares a global warming state
of emergency XD

I was not aware of the urban use of de-butt, nor was I defending Kevin per se. When I made my debut with him we found very little in common.

I have let my butt go and weigh around 290 lbs, but I am only interested in your mind, which you don't seem to mind giving me a piece of.

"And I was helping Kevin to get over something that will prevent him from becoming succesful. We are no longer in kindergarten, so no need to jump to poor Kevin's defense. He is a big boy now."

Even a master such as Gandhi found it is difficult to master humility

Thank you, and may peace be with you

Alright alright alright everyone, Kevin's decision is his business, no need to get upset about it. Your opinion on whether he should have pulled himself from the contest or not is irrelevant at this point, as are his comments on the judges.
The judges stay regardless of whether someone likes them or not, and they need not deliver criticism if they can't likewise accept it. They have also received a fair amount of compliments and gratitude.

Let's not dwell. Let's move on to the the second heat.

As for posting poems from the first heat, I think it's inappropriate to do so before Abby gives the OK.
However, I see I'm too late. Some have already taken the liberty to post...
And I guess it doesn't really matter.

I tried to stay away from this since it seems my point of view just stirs fire on these boards. but I, well, apparently failed?

First I have to say, I am in no way at all against criticism, harsh or not, I'm 100% with it. unless it's disrespectful or is of no real benefit other than letting the writer feel bad about his work without offering any real suggestions he could work on. I don't see in what way has the first comment on Kevin's poem helped. it could have been said to that the grammar was not correct or should be checked in the following sentences. or that there were difficulties in understanding certain parts. but just insulting someone and his/her work like that, assuming that they are not a native speaker of the language sounded a bit rude to me and totally not needed. what if it was really not Kevin and a foreigner struggling with his language, trying hard to so? is that a comment that would let him improve or help them in anyway? I don't believe in just being cruel to someone because he's not a native speaker of the language or has problems with grammar or you just could not get his point?

I did read the poem btw and did not find it that hard to understand, actually it reveals itself a bit more with every time you read it. but then maybe it's because I'm not a native speaker of the language I did? XD

Other than that, I think this contest is really interesting. Great poems have been submitted. I would have joined myself had I not been absent the whole week and extremely busy. well maybe next time.

Keep the great work everyone! and the patience judges!

No princess, I'm a jerk who was seriously jetlagged and made a bitchy post..please don't defend me.

Let people like Ingrid stick the boot into my guts over and over, it doesn't hurt anymore!

Yes Kev you were being a total jerk.. :P

Man you need a back rub... so rush home and see ya chick....

And apologies for posting my poem, i didn't read the rules properly thinking it was ok to post after each heat, but as Abby has clearly stated it should be after the whole contest has finished..

So i deleted mine....

Thanks for deleting it.

:)

Aw Kev, c'mere, I wanna hug ya.

Kevin, if it makes you feel better, I was in no way defending you. thing is actually I am just against THAT style of ''criticism'' , if one can really call it such. so where it you or anyone else, especially if it was indeed someone who isn't a native speaker of the language, my reply would have been the same. so I'm more of defending a principle and not a certain person. no worries.

Thing is if you post in a public forum you must accept any criticism that comes your way, we all see things differently. Kev's admitted to being a tool so lets leave it at that. The judges have the hardest job of all and they have all stepped up to the plate so well done to them...

To be fair to that judge, perhaps they didn't know they were going to be quoted. It was sent to me via PM- privately. Although all judges were informed of the fact I might be quoting their comments publicly, it might have slipped this judge's mind. I still wanted to quote it because I thought it was interesting that all three judges thought the poet was non-English. I saw it as valuable feedback to how this poet, though having awesome insight and style, could improve their expression.

Even then, I don't think the comment was an unfair one. If a poem doesn't make sense to you and you don't like it- that's that. A poem is essentially about leaving an impression. It obviously left a negative one for this reader.

On that note, I would like to return to sibyllene's questions.
If only the poet can read it, is it a poem?
I say: Everything is a poem. Cliche, subjective, but true.
If so, does it necessarily make it a good poem?
I say: No. It can be an in-your-face bad poem. And if only the poet can understand it, then they only felt a need for externalising their own personal feelings. This is fine. But if little thought was given to how it is read by others, it does not bode well for its reception.

Must accept, Nicko? yes, we all do see things differently. because I don't see myself as accepting anything because I ''must'' accept it be it because I joined in a challenge on a public forum or not. that's a very negative attitude in my opinion. actually the word ''must'' and ''accept'' can not be put together when it comes to me. either I approve or not and both my views are clear. now as to the comment discussing being a ''criticism'' (that people in this challenge looking for some valuable feed back to improve should accept) now that is debatable. to you it maybe be, but to me it's certainly not because if it was I would not have had a problem really. but from my own point of view it was an unneeded rude and closed minded comment.

as to the judges, I have no doubt that they have the hardest job (many thanks to them) but since you have accepted the position first place you should be willing and up to it. you should not just read the poem once and say, hey, that makes no sense, English couldn't have been the writer's first language and i don't understand it. zero. you should spend at least a bit more time and effort on it considering that we all have different tastes and of course considering the effort and time it was put in the work itself. especially if you thought the writer was struggling with his language, is that a response? seriously?

this is no way about Kevin. actually what Kevin admits or not is none of my concern. again, my response had nothing to do with Kevin. U don't even know him to start with and never even commented on his withdrawal from the challenge, it's his call. I'm thinking of the poem and the comment alone.

also I am in no way attacking or defending a certain person. judge or writer or even the starter of the thread. i'm just stating my point of view considering this incident. I care not who is the judge neither am I asking for his/her head. I just hope in the following challenges someone would review such comments before posted, possibly abracadabra? and that judges would notice such points in their following feedback on the pieces submitted. this could really affect someone negatively. I don't think just telling a person that with no recommendations, help or suggestions is in anyway criticism or even helpful. there was not any even parts pointed out so the writer should try working on them on his own.

Again this is my OWN point of view. so we have to agree to disagree, I guess.

Hey Princess. I believe I've given my reasoning behind my decision to display the judge's quote. All parties knew what they were in for, and all are currently happy and full of beans. Nothing to worry about at all. I have received no complaints from anyone involved, only positive feedback and an ability to laugh at oneself in retrospect.

Thank you for your detailed explanations and comments and I think your legs are lovely.

Abracadabra, I did not know that. but then I had no problem with the second and third comment. just the first one is what really shocked me. it was said in a not very nice way, that's all. a bit of arrogant, perhaps? like the poem is not worth another look at it. you could see an effort however done in the second comment and it praised more nicely. even the fact that English might no be the writer's first language was suggested not stated as a fact. I hope you get what I am saying.

I think your second paragraph applies to we as readers looking for a certain style to read, leaving what we don't like and just skipping it thinking this is so and so. but not judges, it's not about personal preferences then, is it? it's about you grading something and stating the exact reasons of going such, how could it have been better. at least point out something the person can do. prove you have tried to give it a fair try considering the fact that you thought the writer was not a native speaker of the language.

anyway it's your challenge. I think I made my point clear enough.

thanks for explaining above.

----

I did not see your post until after I replied Nicko.so my previous post was just a reply to Nicko.

Judges are essentially readers like you and me. They are teachers or editors. They were not obligated to workshop the poems or leave extansive instructions for betterment. They were only asked to leave their impressions on any poems, as is, that moved them to do so. That is the nature of judging. All poems were obviously given equal consideration and graded.
Also, I think my judges are doing more than judges normally do for these contests. Normally, only winners are declared with no clue to how the judging process took place. I am happy with the fact that these judges are leaving any feedback at all, blunt or harsh or seemingly unfair as they may be. It still matters.

Ok i will re-word what i said "by posting in a public forum you will recieve criticism good bad or indifferent that you will need to deal with, how you handle that is up to you"

i will be more pedantic and politically correct in the future.

As to Kevin, you are wrong, i've know Kevin for 3 - 4 years and we have a good relationship, infact we've been in the same club for most of that time and share similar philosophies.

Hes still a tool though..:P

You do go on...

@Abby: Then I have nothing more to say. Good luck!

@Nicko: what I meant is that I don't know Kevin. not you. sorry if I gave the wrong impression. have to admit English is NOT my mother language.

yes, guilty. I should learn how to put my thoughts briefly and to the point. something I've never mastered.

Thank you! I hope you do participate in the next challenge. I won't be conducting that one. Any takers?