Would you?

Would you be with someone just because they seemed like there was nothing wrong with them?
Meaning if you found that person who had all the qualities that you look for in a partner, would you be with them? Is attraction really that important? And if you were attracted but you felt like that person was not the one... would you still be with him/her because there was nothing wrong in the relationship?

Attraction to me was no longer looks but attraction to one's character

^I love that comment and I completely agree with you.

Attraction for me is attraction to one's personality but also physical attraction. I don't want to deny that physical attraction is still very important (but by this I don't mean being shallow and judging only by looks. You can be physically attracted to someone who other people might rate as a 6 but in your eyes, because you are in love, they become a 10).

If there is no physical attraction and only attraction to their personality then it is better set to be a good friendship rather than a relationship. Similarly, if there is a lot of physical attraction and no attraction to their personality then it is more of a sexual thing than a relationship that will last.

Being with someone who you think is 'perfect' but you have no attraction with seems a little pointless to me. A relationship needs some fire and passion. However, having a lot of attraction but you aren't very compatable probably means the relationship will not last all that long (unless it is purely sexual in nature). So I say you need both.

I wouldn't be with someone unless I knew I loved them and couldn't stand being away from them.

Would you be with someone just because they seemed like there was nothing wrong with them?
^^

Well, I wouldn't just go out with every single person who falls into this category as there are a lot, however I might, if they are really close to me and I can trust them, go out with them just to see what they are like. It doesn't mean I wouldn't go out with someone just because they didn't meet all my standards because no one is perfect. You should only give you heart to those who will return the favor with their own heart.

Hope this helps some! :]

:) It wasn't really a question for advice. It is that some people think that if a person seems like nothing is wrong with them then you shouldn't refuse the relationship. I've been in a situation many times, where someone has asked me to be in a relationship and I refused because I didn't feel attracted to that person; physically and personality wise. But there was nothing wrong with the person and he had all the qualities I look for. When asked why, I answered the same way, that I'm not attracted to the persons personality and they'd feel like it isn't a good enough reason and end up upset.

Which is why I started the thread, to see who agrees and who doesn't.

I think that's probably the best reason to not go out with someone. The part that I'd find more worrisome is having a checklist that must be fulfilled. I think you've come to the conclusion yourself that meeting all the "criteria of the list" doesn't mean the person will be a good match, so... why have the checklist at all? If you were attracted to someone's personality but they didn't meet one of the points on the list, would you still consider going out with them? That might be another question.

Well for me I would... because being attracted to someone's personality to me is the most important part, because people are not goods, a checklist does not guarantee that the person is the one. After all, attraction is what helps make the initiation. I could live with a person who has all the qualities, but no attraction, but life would be dull. The qualities are only a reflection to the life I would like to lead. In the end two people can live together no matter how the other person may seem "wrong" in his qualities, as long as they both compromise and are open to change.

If the person has the qualities but not the personality, you don't need change in the easy stuff, you need change in personality, which is too hard and offending. I think everyone would like to be with someone who would like them as they are. I myself don't want to be with someone I want to change or someone who wants to change me. To me that flashes a red light... This person is not the one.

^ Agreed... I don't have a checklist really. And the guys who've asked me were people I knew from society.

You're supposed to have 5 non-negotiables (more or less 5). So each person you meet, if you want to be with them long term, the both of you have to agree on those 5 issues.
Which could be anything depending on the individual but must be big enough and important enough to you so that they are life changing.

Am with the person i don't love, i don't know maybe just that i miss my past relationship...

Hhmmm...actually an interesting question to ponder. We all probably hope to find someone who will be as close to perfect and everything we want. But really? For me personally I need attraction, not just physical attraction since as was already said just because some people don't see anything attractive at all in the person if you care about them you see them differently, but...mental and emotional attraction as well. I've never seen the point of getting into a relationship if I don't feel it has the chances of lasting, I don't like short term relationships, so I'd rather know that if it lasts that when we're older we'll still be able to stand each other once the physical attraction fades lol

I love when I can be attracted mentally to someone, when they inspire and capture my mind, but if they don't also attract my heart and body then they're better friends then partners.

Good question..well the truth is i am with the person not because she is perfect but because she is imperfect..that imperfection makes the moment more special and exciting..

Brix, very good way to put it. Perfection, even being perfect for you per say can get tiresome and boring. Imperfections are what makes each of us different and whole