Who says I can't be free? [Contest]

John Mayer contest.

Simple, really. Pick a title (1 per person, 3 people per title). Write a poem that is no longer than 20 lines. Other than that, no rules. Be imaginative, creative, and adventurous. Try to avoid cliches, please.

Contest ends on the 20th.
There will be one overall winner. Prize = 5 comments.
Two runner ups. Prize = 2 comments.

Have fun and good luck. :)

[Titles]

Who Says
- Jessi [submitted.]
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-

Heartbreak Warfare
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-
-

A Break in the Clouds
- The Poetess
- Roses and lilys
-

Slow Dancing in a Burning Room
- Tara Kay [submitted.]
- Everlasting [submitted.]
-

Vultures
- Jessie [submitted.]
-
-

Waiting on the World to Change
-
-
-

Daughters
- Larry Chamberlin The Godfather [submitted.]
-
-

Split Screen Sadness
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-
-

Can you please add more titles? I'm not inspired by any of these :p

Feel free to pick a John Mayer title of your choice (one that does inspire you) and I'll add it to the list.

A Break In The Clouds Please

Slowly Dancing in a Burning Room
Please
x

Slowly Dancing in a Burning Room

Such a soft melodic tune
with a hint of sadness
amidst the beauty.

Droplets tap
upon the pane of glass
that rests
within the frame
and I hear
my heart whisper
set fire to the rain.

My body twirls
with no rhythm,
as I hum along
allowing the tears
to cascade.

Such a soft melodic tune
with a hint of sadness
plays
and I am
slowly dancing in the burning room.

"Amidst the flames"

© Tara-Kay Randall 2nd October 2011

Daughters, please

A Break in the Clouds

please

Who Says
Please!:)

Dreams,
will run dry.

Who says?

Faith,
is a broken word.

Who says?

Hope,
Is the only way.

who says?

Forever,
will someday end.

Who says?

Pain,
goes with time.

who says?

Jesus Christ,
will lead us.

Who says?

Daughters

Daughters are the hardest to parent;
you need the finesse of a master chef
raising a golden crusty rounded souffle;
you must avoid jarring or their spirits
like the risen crown collapse to mousse
and princess sinks in flattened custard.

Vultures

I feel their beady eyes gaze upon my soul.
like being stabbed with one thousand knives
covered in iodine and salt
It pierces my back.

As I lay upon the arid, cracked ground.
Like falling deeper and deeper in a hell
that will swallow me whole.
I can not go back.

My lips are brittle, chapped and bloody.
Like a once proud, magnificent whale
who is trapped in the sand.
I am gasping for water.

The high, shrill sound pierces the air

(Like the foul, poisonous vulture circling,
waiting for his meal to die)

They laugh upon my misery.

Thank you to those who have submitted poems. I've extended the deadline until the 20th. I'm hoping some more people might like to take part, plus there's two others I'm still waiting on to submit their poems.

Slowly dancing in a burning room, please!

"Slowly dancing in a burning room"

There is no point in trying
Our love is dying.

Its like we are walking on thin rope
Just waiting for it to split up
leaving you at one end
and dumping me at the other.

There is no point to continue
All we have is this never ending pain.

Its as if we are constantly sinking in a quicksand
The more we struggle,
The faster we sink.

There is no point, I know it
You meant everything to me .

But we are slowly dancing in a burning room
Before we get caught in the flames
Let's say forever bye
and leave everything behind.

Waiting On The World To Change!
I Just Realized IT Said 3 titles per Author!:)
------

Today, is the day.

Here I am, trying to find a way.

To bad, the worlds a shame.

Honestly, nothings the same.

I tried to pull it together,

I wanted to be something more.

I fail at life, as I fall for you.

In The End I'll Just Be A dreamer,

Who's waiting on the world to change.

Sorry Jessi, it's 1 title per person and 3 people per title, as in 3 people are allowed each title, not 3 titles per author. I'm afraid I can only accept your first submission.

Contest is now closed; I'm a bit disappointed that a few people didn't submit their poems, but oh well.

I'll get the results up sometime after the weekend. Due to the fact only five poems were actually submitted, there will only be one winner, no runner ups.

Of Coarse.

I dont Think Thats Right That There Are No Runners Up.. I Meen.. You Said It.. You Should Keep To Your Word. 4 Extra Comments Is Not That Hard, I Hate To Tell You.

Im Out Of This Contest, Thats Rediculous.

If Your Going To Throw A Contest, Do It Right Or Dont Do It At All.

Have A Great Night!:)
Jessi

I know that four extra comments is not a lot; that's not why I chose to change the prizes. I haven't held a contest on this site for quite a while; a few years even. The last time I did, the site was a lot more active in this section and there were always a lot of participants in my contests. This is why I chose to have runners up in the first place, because I assumed the contest would have been received better.

I chose to change the prizes because if I stuck to the original idea, with runners up, that leaves only two participants without comments/prizes, and I felt that was a bit unfair.

With all due respect, this is my contest that I, myself created. It is not your place to tell me the "right" way of throwing it.

With All Do Respect, I Think The Extra Two People, Who Didnt Win, Can Handle Not Getting Comments.
I Know I Entered This connest, Knowing There Were Three Winners (Crappy Prizes, But Still) So I entered. I Would Not Have If I Would Have Known There Was Only One Winner.

Excuse Me If I Think That Is More Unfair, Than The Two People Without Comments.

I Do Not See Anybody Else, Changing The Rules And Prizes. There For, With All Do Respect, You Are not Throwing This Contest The "Right" Way.

Have A Good Day!
Jessi

If you enter contests purely based on how many winners there is going to be, then that makes me sad. Personally I enter contests because the themes and rules spur my imagination; I really don't care whatsoever if I win. I'm just happy to have a prompt to get me writing again.

If you thought the prizes were "crappy" or if you think me changing it to just one winner is "unfair" then I'm sorry but that's your problem and not mine. I'll reiterate: it is MY contest. I made the rules, and I have every right to change them when I see fit to do so. I have explained my reasons behind this, as the number of participants does not justify the number of winners.

Other people in their contests can choose to do whatever they like, so can I. I really don't care if you think it's the "right" way or not.

I won't argue with you about this anymore. I'm sorry you don't like the fact that there's now only going to be one winner - but tough.

Thanks Nessy.

I'm being rude because I'm defending my actions and choosing what I want to do with my own contest? :/

"If Your Going To Throw A Contest, Do It Right Or Dont Do It At All."

^ You don't think that comment was rude at all? I would never enter a contest and then complain to the creator of that contest about how they're running it. It is THEIRS, therefore whatever decisions are made is solely down to them.

I didn't change the rules just to be cruel or for the sake of it. I have already explained my reasons for doing so.

I'm not trying to make people like or dislike me; I come here to post my poems - that's all. I decided to hold a contest but, like I already said, I hadn't done so in a few years and the site has clearly changed a lot since then.

Oh girls.

Come on, relax. I'll leave comments on your poems, but just give me few days.

I'm going to put this silly argument to rest and just get on with the results of the contest. I will write a comment here of each poem and what I thought of it, and then I will post the results.

Thank you to all of those who entered the competition.

Slow Dancing in a Burning Room | Tara Kay

There was an image of such serene, calming beauty throughout this entire piece. "Droplets tap upon the pane of glass that results within the frame, and I hear my heart whisper set fire to the rain." -- This part was gorgeous. You clearly took the image the title gave you and created something that brought a sense of romance and loneliness about it. The ending was really lovely too; overall a truly lovely piece.

Who Says | Jessi

Overall this piece made me think; I kept trying to see if there was a deeper meaning behind each stanza, wondering what drove the persona to question each piece. The last stanza was particularly ominous and brought a whole new image and feeling to the piece. I'm not too sure I liked the repetition; I feel the piece was rather simple, whereas I like complex poetry where the wording and phrases aren't always so obvious, but I enjoyed the read.

Daughters | Larry Chamberlain The Godfather

This gave me a chuckle, it was adorable and filled with humour. I liked that you used cooking as a metaphor for raising your daughters, because really it's probably quite true. I don't know myself what raising a daughter is like, but I'm sure the similarities to perfecting the perfect dish are somewhat accurate! I also liked the use of food in that I feel it rounds off the homely feel of having your daughters around you and bringing them up in a home that is filled with love and good food. :) A very enjoyable read.

Vultures | Jessie

Ah, the imagery in this piece is beautiful. As I reader, I felt sorrow and a sense of pure hopelessness for the persona -- at the same time, I was curious as to why they were being hounded by these "vultures". "Like a once proud, magnificent whale who is trapped in the sand." -- I liked this image; it gave off the impression that the persona is someone who used to be loved, popular, successful -- and something has happened to turn everyone against them. I loved how I could interpret various things from this piece. Nicely done.

Slow Dancing in a Burning Room | Everlasting

I really liked the fact that you took a different approach to the typical image the title offers. The second stanza is particularly effective in providing a clear image of a relationship that is sinking, on it's last legs. I really enjoyed the imagery of "walking on thin rope"; it's a dangerous obstacle, something that not many can do, something that one may not survive. I liked how this could be applied to the dangers in a relationship too. Overall it was a sad piece, but I enjoyed the read and how you handled the title. Good job.

Despite the low number of entries, it was actually rather difficult to pick an overall winner. There were some great pieces submitted. There does have to be a winner, though.. and that person is...

Jessie, with the poem "Vultures". Congratulations! Please PM me with the five titles you would like me to comment on.

Thank you to those of you who took part.

Jessi, you won, grin, lol.

So ridiculous that some members enter contests just to take prizes, in my opinion,....

I'm sorry I had some problems and couldn't submit my poem! :( I hope that might be forgiven. ;)

I'll write a poem under that title, whatsoever.

Very well deserved win,
thank you for the comment, much appeeciated
xxx

Well, Some People Have Different Opinions.

Some People Would Rather Get Advice, (As In Comments).. Rather Than "Inspiration" To Write. Because Honestly Inspiration Is All Around Me.

The poem that won was seriously effective, it inspired me to write something, yet I'm unsure if it will be a poem, maybe a quote, oh, well, I found it.

Jessieeee, wherever you are, congratulations on your so deserved win and thank you for the inspiration! xD
lalalalala.

EDITED: Jessi, a contest is created to make you test your writing abilities. ;) A win is nothing compared to all those advantages you can take while participating in a contest, I guess if you want comments, or feedback, then submit the poems you entered after a while and ask for criticism in the special thread, that's my opinion, and if you want I can give you comments, completely for free, thoughtful and not just 'good work 5\5'

I just know the girl running this contest and I thought your words were disrespectful, so I popped up like this, I apologize if I nosed into someones business, I just say what's on my mind! :)

So You Don't Think It's Impolite Of Her To Go Back On Her Word?-
Realizing That Some People Do Participate In Contests Do To "Prizes" Or In My Case Advice.
I Don't Think Is Disrespectful Of Me, Because Obviously I Wanted Her Advice.
And I Think Nessy Kind Of Blew It Out Of Proportion, But I Just Had To Get My Point Out There.
Im Sorry If I Speak My Opinion, But When I Have To Say Something I Say It. I Dont Really Think Before I Talk Because Some Things Just Have To Be Said.

^That's not right, Miss J. :)

She didn't mean to go back on her 'word'. she didn't swear that there will be four runner ups or whatsoever. She did this contest to provoke your mind to write, am I mistaken? I guess you should thank her for that, at least. ;)

When we think about our faults before the others' we realize we are just hasty and a bit tempered.

It is your right to speak your mind but I'd suggest you to say it in the right way, a nice PM would never create all this drama.

EDITED: Nessy, are you calling me stupid, little one? lol

Nessy, I Think It's Best If You Stay Out Of This.

Im Sorry To Everyone Whom I May Have Offended.

I didn't Mean To Start Drama, And I Apologize.

That's okay, all I wanted to do is to make you guys make up. No need to apologize. :)

Im Going To Ignore That..
You shouldn't Say The Lords Name In Vain, Its Really Offending To Some People..

Someone wants a suspension....hmmmmm lol.

Obviously. Lol..

^ Says someone who has you both on her favourite list!

Really, I think this is pointless, I mean, I entered because I love writing, and I wanted to share my work with more people, and learn new talents, and be inspired, and the prizes mean something but entering purely on the bases of what you win, well, enough said.

And language like above is not tolerated on the forums, just stating the obvious

Not even gonna go there...

Dollwithafrown . . Thank you for your feedback.