Formed Poetry Challenge #2

I think all who took part in the previous challenge should be damned proud of their achievements so...next challenge? Well I had one form already in my mind and then a member suggested another. IMO one is more difficult than the other but as you all stepped up and lifted the bar in the last challenge I've decided to post both forms and leave it up to each of you which one you prefer or...if you're really keen do both (no pressure haha)

#1..Palindrome

http://www.shadowpoetry.com/resources/wip/palindrome.html

#2 Paradelle

http://www.shadowpoetry.com/resources/wip/paradelle.html

Good luck guys.

I have just left a comment on Darren's Palindrome. I love the fact it was supposed to be a hoax first of all, but then took on a life of its own.
As for the Paradelle, this form should prove interesting.

Darren has a Palindrome posted? Can you put the link up?

Gulp!! I'll give one of them a go! ;-)

I think Ben (Naughtymouse) posted a fair few Palindromes - he's very good at them.

Naughty Mouses palindromes are amazing! His are what encouraged me to try them.

My mistake - it is a 'Paradelle' - I knew is started with a 'P' sound - lol

This is harder than it first would seem, but here goes:

Gone To Sea (paradell)

Bess told John goodbye then sailed away
Bess told John goodbye then sailed away
and the sun followed her over sea’s edge
and the sun followed her over sea’s edge
the sun and Bess sailed over sea’s edge
told John goodbye then followed her away.

When it returned she was not aboard
when it returned she was not aboard
though search did cast top to bottom
though search did cast top to bottom
she was not aboard bottom to top
though search did cast when it returned

jumped ship on some romantic isle
jumped ship on some romantic isle
lured early by mystery man smooth
lured early by mystery man smooth
early on some smooth mystery isle
jumped ship by romantic man lured

Goodbye to Bess over sea’s edge
told was lured away on some romantic isle
followed by smooth mystery man
when the ship returned, John jumped aboard
and did search it bottom then top
her sun sailed early though cast not she.

great effort Larry, it is difficult.

For now I have a mini palindrome that I combined with an etheree. (and an acrostic I think)

I'm
So-So
Can't love, can't
Rare smiles, smiles? Rare
Almost sane ...................almost
Zest lost........... again,.......... lost zest
Yearning love..........I............ love yearning
Beat myself...... daily, myself?................beat
Always wanting more ...........wanting?.........always
Destiny?...........why?...Screaming .........."why destiny?"
?

The trouble with palindrome's is it is difficult to have them make sense both ways.

I had to use punctuation to try and bring some sort of order to it.

edit**

another example

though when I read it, it feels like it was written by Yoda.

Contemplation - Palindrome

Purpose discovered?
Finally I've hope,
Abhorred this deep digging,
then daily crying spurned.
Time wasted forever,
Hurtful was I?
hatred had returned.
Feeling useless,
this always delivered images
reflected only desire
No........
searching soul hopelessly
then shivered
Demon residing deeply, mad this fire.
Educated? I'm remembering love,
Raw this feeling,
a heaven from above.

~~~~~~~~~~

Above from heaven
feeling this raw...
Love remembering I'm educated.
Fire this mad deeply residing demon!!
Shivered
then hopelessly soul searching
No!!
Desire only reflected images
delivered only this useless feeling
Returned had hatred....
I was hurtful
forever wasted time
spurned crying daily
then
digging deep
this abhorred hope
I've finally discovered purpose.

**Edited as suggested by Hellon

I was always taught a true palindrome was literally read the same forward and backwards, letter for letter.

My favorite is by Howard Bergerson

Deliver no evil, avid diva I saw die.
Render an unsung aria for erotogenic id.
O never egg Alec Naif, fairer Edna Waterfall, A nonassimilative, volatile reef-dweller-apparelless bragl
Natasha I saw die, render an unsung aria. For Edna Waterfall-a liar-familiar feuds live: Dastard Ogre and Edna! Pupils, one tacit song or poem-or didos deft.
Celestial lives (Ida rapt as Naomi)
Laud smegma, alas-keep never a frondlet on. So did no solo snoop malign
Irised sad eyen. Oh dewed yenOh tressed May noon, hellol Tacit songs revl
Love's barge of assent carts base tarts,
A cerise deb abed, unreined flesh.
Sin-a viand-Edna sees and Edna has,
Or bust fossettes, or redder rosettes.
Soft sub-rosa hand Edna sees, And, Edna, I vanish-self-denierI Nude babe, desire castrates abstractness, A foe grabs Evolver's Gnostic Atoll, eh? Nol On, yam, (dessert-honeydewed), honeyed as desiringl I lampoon solos on didos. Not eld nor far (Even peekl "Salaam, gems dual," I moan) Sat Paradise Villa, its elect fed. So did Romeo prognosticate no slipup, And Edna, ergo, drats a devil's due: "Frail! I'm a frail all a·fret, a-wanderl "0 fair Agnus nun, a red Nereid was I. "Ah Satan, garb's seller, "Apparel (lewd fee) relit a love vital I miss anon. "All a·fret, a wanderer I affiance"Lagger even odic-in ego 'torero'. "Fair Agnus nun, a red Nereid was I. "Avid diva, live on reviled."

I cant compare to the above but here goes...

TattarrattaT
By Anthony Krieman

Tattarrattat...
Hand knocking
Over and over
Time and again
When not will it end?
Am I crazy?

Hahahahah!
...Tattarrattat...
End the sound!
!TattarrattaT!
Sound the End!
...Tattarrattat...
Hahahahah!

Crazy I am
End it will not. When?
Again, and time
Over and over
Knocking hand
...Tattarrattat

Tony, I liked yours and Darren's much better than Bergerson's.
It seemed too many made-up or forced words in his while both of your and Darren's had true sense.

Crikey this is hard! I'm really impressed with all of yours so far. I worked for ages on a paradelle but it was just nonsensical. Here's my paltry effort!

Music (palindrome)

Music was I, as
Lyrics in song and
Rhythm in bass for
Drum of beats to
Tapping feet
Sweeping bows
And fingers plucking
swaying bodies
Sounding  melodies
And reaching crescendos

~Dancing~

Crescendos reaching and
Melodies sounding
Bodies swaying
Plucking fingers and
Bows sweeping
Feet tapping
To beats of drum
For bass in rhythm
And song in lyrics
As I was music.

I love all the different styles people are coming up with using the same Palindrome form. Another form that you have conquered.

Darren this line didn't seem quite right to me the way you have structured it...

Yearning love......................I love yearning

Perhaps you could use the I as the reversal point?

Hi All :) ooh these are such a challenge. and the ones posted are brilliant well done poets :) Anyway have to give it a go:

connections:

light
Shining and bright
and beautiful
Delicately showing touching
Moon with stars entwining
Colours twinkling brings vision
all in all
memories and
Love
And memories
All in all
vision brings twinkling
Colours entwining stars
with moon touching
Showing delicately beautiful
Bright and shining
light

Michael...you have it all there but the sequence should be the same in reverse, meaning all lines should be the same coming back the way. Your wording is spot on, it's just the lines that need a wee tweak :) And, possibly capitalize LOVE because that's the tuning word (the mirror).

Done as suggested

Thanks

Thank you Hellon for your help :), I realised after you posted your message, so here is my tweaked version:

"Connections"light
Shining and bright
Delicately and beautiful
Touching moon with
stars entwining colours
twinkling brings vision
all in all
share memories and

LOVE

And memories share
all in all
vision brings twinkling
colours entwining stars
with moon touching
beautiful and delicately
Bright and shining
light

Love that you guys have all put in great poems in a form rarely used in this site!

Sorry for the delay - I was working on the other form - man, its difficult!
.

Morning arousal (Palindrome)

now it savours
wetness, like dew. . .
mornings bring happiness
this bird's calling: awake
me slumbering

slumbering me
awake, calling birds, this
happiness brings mornings
dew like wetness:
savour it now

*thank Brenda

Ok, here it goes....
Color (line by line Palindrome)

I live in color...
vivid shades that design my day
sunny yellows and sapphire blue
give me a life of
colorful possibilities..
my pallet doesn't always give these-
some days are void of hues
shades of grays, white noise really
turns my days into
lackluster living...

Lackluster living...
turns my days into
shades of grays, white noise really
some days are void of hues
My pallet doesn't always give these -
colorful possibilities...
give me a life of
sunny yellows and sapphire blue
vivid shades that design my day
I live in color....

Wow Michael, not sure what you are inferring here lol...isnt due suppose to be dew?

Great effort Brenda, works well.

here is my Paradelle edited to within an inch of it's life.

An echo of innocence (Paradelle)

The wide eyes of a child
The wide eyes of a child
Hate has hope for the future
Hate has hope for the future
The child has hope,
Eyes for the future, wide of the hate.

Man is a forgotten love
Man is a forgotten love
Forever powerless to defeat oppression
Forever powerless to defeat oppression
Oppression forgotten? forever?
Is defeat love, to a powerless man?

The past teaches us gravely
The past teaches us gravely
A real winner in war? Love is never there.
A real winner in war? Love is never there
There, in us, war is the real winner
Gravely a past love, never teaches.

The child is forever powerless,
love the forgotten winner
oppression teaches us man, a defeat
To hate!
Is there a future? Has hope for a wide love?
In the past, eyes of a war
Gravely, never real.

First off thank you Darren, I appreciate your thoughts. Second, love yours! It's got great flow and an awesome story line.

I'm glad to see that a lot of you, who doubted your ability to write formed poetry, have managed to pull such remarkable work from the hat!

That “hat” - it’s an Akubra no doubt.

There is such a thing as a palindrome hat.

Ok...you guys are hilarious and both of you are correct...there is a hat called an akubra

https://www.wildearth.com.au/buy/akubra-rough-rider-hat-light-sand-hat-size-60cm-7/751_60_LT_SAND?istCompanyId=d8409198-7d9a-4b69-8cca-04b207c3f146&istItemId=xilmxqrpim&istBid=tzwm&gclid=EAIaIQobChMIooqOtOy22gIVkJO9Ch0XKQ03EAYYAiABEgLRVfD_BwE

and also a palindrome hat

https://www.ravelry.com/patterns/library/palindrome-hat

The palindrome hat actually gives you a pattern so....next challenge...knit me a palindrome hat or find a way to steal Larry's akubra! I've done it once before haha!!!

I'm still moderately baffled by this form...

If you need some help Ben...don't be afraid to ask...

Thanks, Hellon, but I think I might do the cowardly thing and dodge this one...

You can do this Ben! Free your mind! Lol

This wasn't my cup of tea either.

My paradelle attempt (took ages!!)

Cry to the sea (Paradelle)

Your brow folds like the rolling oceans
Your brow folds like the rolling oceans
Your eyes fill with tidal despair
Your eyes fill with tidal despair
Your rolling eyes folds your brow
Like the tidal oceans fill with despair

You lap at the shore of emotion
You lap at the shore of emotion
And wait for the moon to move you
And wait for the moon to move you
You move of the moon to shore
And lap at the emotion you wait for

Your feelings scrape like sand
Your feelings scrape like sand
And sting with the salt you cry
And sting with the salt you cry
Cry your sting and scrape salt
With you, the feeling’s like sand

At the moon of emotion you move
The folds with salt-like despair
And your brow fill to your cry
The shore you wait for rolling
Like tidal eyes you scrape the lap
And feelings sting your sand with oceans

Miss Kitty, wonderful write! Such a cool style and you really nailed this!

Mr Darcy, Brenda, Darren ... brilliant ... although Darren ... etheree, palindrome AND acrostic!! wow!

* thanks so much Brenda xx

Wonderful paradells!

Hello All again :) This was a challenge from a different planet Haha. My brain is frazzled! Brilliant ones here well done to all fellow poets. Anyway it may make sense or not. Mine :)

"Exploring for answers"

should love show again, I’ll open deeper places
should love show again, I’ll open deeper places
walk in very carefully, values tell the answer
walk in very carefully, values tell the answer
show values very open I’ll walk again carefully
should deeper love tell the answer in places

find ways to explore, tell me for opportunity
find ways to explore, tell me for opportunity
where we can reason, share our thoughts yes?
where we can reason, share our thoughts yes?
we can find thoughts, explore ways for reason
yes the opportunity where to share tell me

so conclusion will follow, in the end result
so conclusion will follow, in the end result
have both gained maybe? and all is united
have both gained maybe? And all is united
maybe both end in, gained conclusion is all
so United and follow, will have the result?

we can explore thoughts, walk in find ways
so values share reason?, for deeper ways yes
tell both all open, the show is conclusion
will tell where maybe? places have gained me
I’II end in opportunity, again the result united
very carefully love, should follow the answer to

well done for getting one up there Micheal.
A great effort

they do frazzle your brain.

I found as I wrote the first stanza, I would write down all the words I used.
In the second stanza do the same but re-use some, same in third.
That way your final stanza doesn't become too bogged with words.
Its like a poetry sudoku

I understand the rule is to use each word only once.
I even got rid of duplicate articles and pronouns.