Formed Poetry Challenge #2

Nice going. Great thread.

You guys just keep getting better and better and...more confident in your own ability which, was always there but just needed a little nudge :)

If you feel like another one...just let me know haha!!!

Larry, I might have read it wrong, but I was under the impression that the final stanza should only contain one of each word.

Hellon

Good idea, maybe something less taxing.
Don’t know which git suggested a Paradelle, how about an Etheree.

Darren..you're a blast...seriously :) I had something else in mind........ I know it's the weekend and people are busy so...something even easier than an Etheree...

http://www.shadowpoetry.com/resources/wip/tyburn.html

does this mean you are starting a new thread for a Tyburn?

are all Paradelles and Palindromes in?

is there such thing as word blindness? Mine will be in once the medication kicks in enough for me to finish it!

Awesome, look forward to it.
It is a pain in the butt.

Heart's Carbuncle (etheree)

strange
that you
never saw
the carbuncle
that eclipsed my heart,
suffocating the sound
of the rhythmic beats that struck
a cacophony of noise 'til
the thud was smothered by this disease;
I am love's poor fool - a castle's ruin.

--

*first attempt at this form so I hope it's okay.

Hi All :) not sure if this correct but here we are

Without you

while sitting alone and thinking of you
my memories brings a shade so blue
knowing my habits broke us down
here i sit with constant frown
without you nowhere near
so hear me darling
in all my plight
I beg you
just to
Write
me a
letter with
your heart enclosed
thoughts to rid my woes
words with love just to read
for this will help plant a seed
forgive myself from ruined past
I’ve wept my sorrow over endless years
please grace my vision and prevent my tears

Hi Micheal

almost, syllable count just off by a smidging

while sitting alone and thinking of you
my memories brings a shade so blue
knowing my habits broke us down
here i sit with constant frown
without you nowhere near
so hear me darling
in all my plight
I beg you
just to
Write
me a
letter with
your heart enclosed
thoughts to rid my woes
words with love just to read
for this will help plant a seed
forgive myself from ruined past
I’ve wept my sorrow over endless years ( I count 10 here, drop the 'I've' or 'my')
please grace my vision and prevent my tears

otherwise great double etheree with a reversed etheree to start.

Awesome Ben, spot on.

Just for fun - this is an old Etheree of mine:

.

I
Bleed like
an orange
being shot at
with a sling shot rock:
My skin punctured, ruptured,
flesh splattering outwards, my
body flung skyward from the landmine;
a leg one way, an arm another,
as I catch you in bed with my best friend.

This is such a great thread, well done again Hellon for putting this together :)

Hi Darren thank you, well spotted and will take out 'I've'

and thanks for your comments, everyone is doing a grand job here :)

M:)

I'm glad you are enjoying the thread...that's pretty awesome. I'm happy to leave this thread open for a while yet if members still want to add their etherees/palindromes/paradelles. I'll start a new thread for the tyburn in a couple of days if you all like.

Here's an Etheree I wrote a year ago-

Poison

I
saw you
standing there,
so smug with life,
it made me just choke.
A bitter taste rises
in my throat, how can this be?
You manage to suck all the air
from my lungs and the room we stand in.
I cannot waste my energy on you!
I will not waste my energy on you!
You don't own me or the life I lead.
I will not allow you power
to be able to ruin me.
You are nothing to me!
We are not as one.
One left years back.
Your poison
doesn't
work...

Hellon, this thread has been a lot of fun. I look forward to the next challenge-

It's nice to see members sharing their older poems also. I used to write a lot of formed poetry on a previous account but then free verse seemed to take over and I kind of went with the flow.

It's nice to be able to mix up formed poetry with free verse.

^^

agreed entirely, Michael. The more we write and the more we read, the more interesting poetry is for all of us.

I agree with Michael (the other one) - this has been a wonderful idea and we all owe Hellon a big thank you for introducing such a feel good factor round these parts. Very educational, too. Thanks, Hellon.

Ok...do I blush and say thank you? Nooooooooooo not my style as you know. So...I'm going to push you a little further guys...not a form, this is just for a laugh ok...

This will be just be a 48 hour thing...

Guys...write a poems about how you think wearing a bra may feel...

Gals...how do you think it would feel wearing a joke strap...

any form..any style..just ANYTHING!!!

Boob trap (senryu)

A shoulder biting
Elasticated boob trap
Can’t wait to remove

Very good Darren - made me laugh.

Personally, I'm not sure how neutrally I can approach this, given my longstanding and entirely aggressive attitude towards a garment that has blighted so much of my adult life. The very idea of a bra is deplorable, and entirely at odds with the want of the opposite sex's roving and devious eye...

You see? I cannot be taken seriously on this matter. I apologise.

Haha Hellon,
Pushing is fun absolutely, and good for you.... Soooooooooo fun it is:

Hellons bra (acrostic)

Hand full of
Elegance with
Lavish lace
Leaving
Ones
Nerves
Strung along

But to
Round off
A shoulder to cry on?

Michael :)x

lol ... OK you asked for it ... :p

Jock Shock!

The biker in lycra
Must care for the goods
Wearing a jockstrap
To protect his manhood

The girls think he’s packing
But when they get home
They realise his schlong
Is just a weiner of foam!

=^.^=

ps ... love the ones posted so far! :-)

and ... just in case you haven't all seen this HILARIOUS song from the film Beaches, about the 'over-the-shoulder-boulder-holder' ... I urge you to have a watch ;-)
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xqxWhBZXF8Q

~we don't pack light~

appendagies weigh
heavily for the female
like my jocks, I'm sure

We ladies have it made

I've worn my share
of lacy, frilly things...
Stuff designed to push up,
hold in,
titillate and taunt...
-
We ladies have it made-
our bits stay in the shade.
No worry of getting
kicked in the nads,
or getting our fruit and nuts
hurt really bad...
-
So I am not so sad
that a jockstrap
is just for dads!

These are truly hilarious. I'm glad you all seem to be enjoying a little bit of respite haha!!!

The AFL Player

So...you play footy?
I can tell 'cos
underneath that guernsey
you are "ripped" babe.
Man...those guns
are just waiting to wrap
themselves around me
right?

Those tight shorts...sh*t man
there should be a law against
those da*n
bun-huggers
but, I don't plan
on voting to out-law them,
that's for sure!

Man...you look so pumped

but...

a vision is cancelling out
my daydream and
it's now replaced with

THE JOCKSTRAP (Silent scream or maybe it was out loud)
I see you stepping into
a contraption that holds
your nuts in place
while letting your hairy (pimply?) ass
hang loose

and...

suddenly my lacy bra
becomes the comfiest
garment I own...

Lmao! These are hilarious! Man, give a bunch of poets a goofy subject to write about and all hell breaks loose. Loved it!

Finally! Done an etheree! :-)

Taking Stock

Love
Is not
Ever free,
It has a price.
To get you must give
When only one invests
And the other only spends
Then you'll always be in the red
Paying with credit and overdrawn
Love is the currency, tears are the debt.

Nicely done Miss Kitty!

Thanks Brenda! :-) x

Well done Kitty...It looks great, the only thing I found distracting was every line started with a capital letter. For me, it interrupted the flow.

Thanks Hellon :-) It never even occurred to me not to start each line with a capital letter! :-) Do you think it works better as posted ... with it centered, or does that still interrupt? x

Mirror etheree

The
young man
brought a bowl,
sun ripened fruit,
to most luscious girl
inviting her to spend
this harvest season with him
and to help him raise up their home
on strong foundations with wood and stone
where they’d raise their children in harmony.
She picked out an apple from the bowl
held him captive with inspection
tossed it to youth’s other hand
smiled bright as he caught it
then told him her terms:
“love only me.”
Into arms
did she
leap.

Kitty,
For over fifty years I faithfully started each line with a capital just as the nuns had taught me.
Then I joined PnQ and Rania asked “why?”

lol Larry ... I'm a bit of a stickler for grammar and punctuation, but I'll certainly look a bit harder now and see if it's necessary ... please all feel free to let me know if it's interrupting the flow of any future writes ... it's unlikely I'll spot it for myself! :-)

Hahaah oh now I recall. Sharp memory Godfather

Darren, this is inspired by your mini palindrome etheree acrostic. I tried to also write one XD but it's complicated.

Title: From Afar the Distance

I,

Simply
Eye your eye.
Now, thinking, now:
To go? or go to,

And ask... ? Perhaps ask, and…

Kill slowly, oh slowly kill,
In just one moment … One, just in
Silence, losing, but losing silence,
So rapidly losing, rapidly so. . .