Weekly Contest Results 6/3/19

  • silvershoes
    4 years ago, updated 4 years ago

    Hi all! It's Jane. It's unfair for me to take credit as host this week since I arrived home from an adventure in Mexico last night just before midnight and the other mods had done most everything (i.e., checking to make sure votes/comments had been turned in, double checking these against the nominations page, and casting votes for judges where needed). Thank you to the mod squad and of course thank you to our judges who give their time each week to read through the nominations page, narrow down favorites, write thoughtful comments, and send them in. Congratulations to dear Andrea, Michael, and Larry (tiebreaker!). What a lovely trio to grace the front page. Special congratulations to Scott Cole, who had not one, not two, but FOUR honorable mentions this week. Without further ado, the results...

    FRONT PAGE WINNERS:

    Age Spots by Maple Tree: 10 + 10 + 7 = 27
    Inharmony (Rondeau) by Michael: 10 + 7 = 17
    Gone (rhymed etheree) by Larry Chamberlin: 10

  • silvershoes
    4 years ago, updated 4 years ago

    COMMENTS FROM JUDGES:

    Age Spots
    by Maple Tree
    27

    Maple writes of getting older. She sees the lines, the age spots, the dark circles under her eyes. Looking into a mirror there is a stranger staring back. Who is this person? Society dictates we should "look" a certain way. If you don't then there must be something wrong with us, we aren't acceptable and are no longer of any use. There are cultures that revere and take care of their elderly. Being in these middle years I can relate to her thoughts in this poem. I see all my "flaws" too, I'm feeling not so productive and I am at odds with myself. But her final line brings it all home, you are so beautiful. No matter how she feels about herself, no matter how she feels as if there is a stranger staring back at her, her beloved sees her as only someone that has shared this journey with her, she's beautiful. So celebrate your beautiful self! (10)

    -

    “A Woman's face withers
    upon a morning sun
    while hot coffee stains
    her teeth as she comes
    to terms with life.”

    Andrea here is seeing herself being metamorphosed, She sees that she changing.: Days, ‘morning sun’ s are accumulating, not in the memory sacks but on the sacks of wrinkles. And so beautifully she compares it to the coffee that stains the pearl of your beauty, your smiles and youth. Here coffee is assumed as a necessity of life, because the bitterness and darkness of it, not only stains our teeth also brings us to term with the fact that this canvas is not getting any brighter, and younger as we draw on it with our fates. Now that she is metamorphosing, she does not even acknowledge with her continuity: “each memory, like a novel based on a strangers journey; can't possibly be her own.” Because the continuity is torn, it doesn’t seem hers any longer, because she, is, not ‘her’, any longer. She is constantly becoming, and in the meanwhile: “She counts the veins” That popping out constantly on once so silky, and. In the next stanza she reveals her trick to how to deal with the onslaught of time: “She covers edges of her body ~ with cotton and lace, to design ~ miracles and age with a touch of class;” and keep on checking in the mirrors perhaps: “ all the while she wonders- am I growing older?” But regardless of all the signs of a melting youth in a beautiful woman; signs such as “circles around her eyes…” and as humorous and brilliant that maple put it: “like a tree in ~ a thunderstorm, as arthritis ~ rages between her rigor ~mortise ~ limbs-“ (haha), regardless of all these, she has the best weapon, the magic wand of the metamorphosis, at her disposal: Love!! She has a lover who learned her beauty a long time ago. (10)

    -

    I so enjoyed reading this poem this week. The author reflects on their personal feeling of aging and what it means to them.
    They paint a picture using expressive metaphors and use of language, that gives this piece such a depth of becoming older. It is something none of us can escape, and we accept it somehow as much as we would rather not.
    The poem shows how (in this case a lady) they reflect the changes with growing older, which is done very well. She carries her poem with a gentle flow and eases from verse to verse in a smooth fashion all through until the end, which I must say is simply divine.
    A beautifully written piece about one person growing old, but to be told how the love in her life is still beautiful, no matter what!
    A truly heartfelt piece. Well done. (7)

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    Inharmony (Rondeau)
    by Michael
    17

    I was captivated from the first stanza. This poem works superbly in this form. The second stanza is full of emotion I could feel the rage and fury of nature finally rebelling against man's greed. In the final stanza The scent of smoke and choking air the final acknowledgement that man has lost the war against nature. A powerful message that needs to be heard. (10)

    -

    Michael really has a knack for this style of poem. This one doesn't disappoint. In the confines of this style he writes of how we keep on destroying this world. Little by little it's getting harder not to see it even in the remotest of spaces. If we don't stop soon there will be nothing left. A cautionary tale we need to all heed. (7)

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    Gone (rhymed etheree)
    by Larry Chamberlin
    10

    We take people for granted then we want to go back, that's not the message here (lol) Larry I love your poetry this one in particular since it's what I would do what people SHOULD do when this scenario does happen in our lives. (10)

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    The Two Of Us.
    by Scott Cole
    10

    I come across many personal poems on this site, and it really does show one’s insight into the struggles and difficult times, I’m sure many of us are familiar with. 
    Through a rhyming piece, the writer tells of their struggle with Bipolar, which essentially is a two-way state of being. This can be manic at times, and also depressive which i’m sure can be very difficult to manage at times. The writer gives an in-depth emotion all throughout this piece and displays many times how this affects them in their daily life. I was happy to read the end, where the writer has sought solace with a sense of acceptance, but also a balance so to speak. A heartfelt journey for sure, and I would like to say thank you for sharing, and always good to be proud of oneself. I hope you continue to manage as best as possible. 
    Well done. (10)

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    Ships from Sand
    by Ben Pickard
    7

    I am a huge fan of sonnets and Ben never fails to impress. The imagery and emotion are totally on point. It starts off so sad but then there is that initial turn in mood where he'll "stand and scream at all the storms that rage and build a bridge between the sea and land." As the sonnet progresses it becomes more and more uplifting "as angels beat their wings - the flowers will appear where fungus grew" is just really great imagery. The final couplet "A stricken heart can break and water flow, but broken hearts will mend and roses grow" is just a beautiful ending. (7)

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    Her Blue-Green Eyes:
    by Scott Cole
    7

    In this poem that could be mistaken as a poet beautifully perplexed in whether the colour of her eyes is green or blue. Though Scott here draws rainbows of colours all emanating from the same objects of love: the eyes that fluxing and transforming every time.
    This poem reminds me of one of the great Rumi’s poems when the greatest portrait artist of the time wanted to draw his face. He tried but after every 10 minutes or so, he ripped the canvas apart and through the sketch in the garbage and start all over again. So, Rumi asked why? The artist goes: every time I think that I capture your image on the canvas, your face transforms, your moods are too kinetic to portray, Your image is a moving target for the arrow of my pen. You are like a river, always there but never the same. 
    Scott has such a colourful portray of that set of eyes here, but he went way beyond a simple description also. 
    : “She wasn't born with them…They're not her gift from God. For their purer than an emerald. Closeup or “abroad.” 
    So, from the get-go, the poet reveals that what he is talking is not only simple colours. The colours here have spirit.
    Scott goes on disrobing the green of HER eyes in so many breath-taking ways,” They're tasteful yet spicy
    Like a homegrown jalepeno, 
    But hard to get a hold on
    Like a slippery frog on the go.”
    “But the green changes, it turns to other colours: But her eyeballs are everchanging …”
    “Now they're just as dreary~ As a sad cloudy sky,~, For now, her blue eyes~ don't do nothing but cry.”
    “Now her once green eyes ~ Are not so merry, ~ For they're spoiled sour ~ As a turquoise raspberry.”
    “They're Himalayan stained..”

    Only a poet and a lover can draw rainbows and see the spectrums instead of a single colour in their beloved eyes! (7)

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    Paper Heart:
    Scott Cole
    7

    It made me smile I'm sadness for we give out our hearts in good faith and sometimes we have it throw in our faces this makes you reflect if it's worth giving out your heart. (7)

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    Without colour
    by CJ Maleney
    4

    Nature has been mixing races, colours shapes and sizes since the first amoeba swam in the sea. So at this point in time there is no such thing as a pure race in any creature. It's through such mixing and tweaking that nature perfects species and makes them more fine tuned. Taking the best of two parts is always going to give you something greater than the two original parts. It is the very differences that make them more beautiful, interesting and desirable. (4)

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    What goes around
    by Milly Hayward
    4

    Milly's poem this week brings to light how dangerous and deadly bullying can be. Mean words and actions can destroy another. What some feel is harmless fun have no idea how much it can hurt another. She writes of how these bullies won't be able to hide forever and when their just dues are handed out she'll be there, front row, cheering. For all the people who have no voice, Milly will champion them. You go girl! (4)

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    Knitted Gloves
    by [M(/)U]
    4

    The poem starts brilliantly: “When you knitted me and thought of the son you loved with fingers and strings and tears”
    Even though one might ask: Did the ‘you’ KITTED the NARRATOR ‘to’ the “thought of the son you-(the mother) loved” (because ‘and’ here could act as with), or that person knitted him (or her) with the “fingers, strings and tears”? in this case your contexture is going to consist of five fibres or strings. 
    In the next stanza, the poet makes it clearer, that she knitted him with the thought of his son, not as a raw material but as an artistic muse. 
    But metaphorically this poem becomes very aggrandized, by the fact that she is knitting him now a pair of gloves (of course with he thought of her son in her mind) with the “fingers and strings and tears”, to reach (using the similarity of the gloves and the image of reaching hand)
    Note; finger might be used as a tool, not a string, it is not very clear.
    In the next stanza, we realize that actually there are real gloves being knitted and the narrator is indeed the new gloves, that is being born. We learn actually the thought was not the fibre in which “he/she/ or the gloves” was being born (made) with. There were actual strings that were purchased. 
    But the gloves that so neatly was packed in a box did never come out of the box. The mother love perhaps never reached the son spiritually. And maybe this wonderful poem is the heart of the mother that is fulfilled regardless of if the boy sees it (the love- the joy of the mother making it) or not. (4)

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    She Precipitates
    by. S.T.A.R. 
    4

    I must say I liked the layout of this poem. The writer has carefully constructed the shape of a cloud which gives their piece more meaning.
    I really enjoyed the way in which the writer takes me through the ‘life’ of a cloud, without too much said. A writer that has an affinity with nature and the beauty she displays. I felt the pace of this poem was set out well, and the added sentiments of rain in the form of dots and Ellipses gives a nice touch of a rain feel. A really lovely piece of writing that was a pleasure to read.
    Well done. (4)

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    To Hell And Back:
    by Scott Cole
    4

    This poem was raw to the bones and so powerful in simpleness very beautiful to read shows you that no matter what you can get up and off your uhhh @$$ to see what life is like on the upside :) (4)

  • CJ Maleney
    4 years ago

    Whoever voted for my ditty thank you so much it started out as a bit of a giggle at myself but took on a more serious note as I wrote it. I didn't think anyone would like the clash and the veiled swear word.

    More importantly well done to our winners and my fellow HM's and indeed everyone entered. The diversity of the poems entered is still something I love. They can cover every thought, deed, aspiration and everything else inbetween.

    Finally fair play to our judges I know it's not always an easy task. To rank one poem you love above another is difficult.

    Respect to one and all

    Craig

  • Ben Pickard
    4 years ago, updated 4 years ago

    Well done all and especially to Scott. Has anyone ever got four hms before? Anyway, great work.
    Thank you to the judges for their hard work and thank you to the judge who commented/voted on my sonnet.

    All the best

  • Milly Hayward
    4 years ago

    Congratulations to the new front page winners Andrea, Michael and Larry and to all the HMs. Special Congratulations to Scott - 4 HMs that's got to be a record :) Huge thanks to Jane and the Mod team for organising and collating and to the weekly judges for judging. Also thanks to Scott for nominating my poem 'What Goes around' and to the Judge who put it forward for a HM :) Best wishes Milly x

  • Star
    4 years ago

    Thank you so much for the judge who have me an HM, for trying something new and getting recognized is thrilling lol!!
    Congratulations everyone, keep the great poetry coming :)

  • Larry Chamberlin
    4 years ago

    Thanks for the comment and it's nice to win twice in a row, although I always cringe with a tiebreak since, as in this case, I think Scott's poem was really better.

    Thanks to Michael (Mr Darcy) for nominating my poem. Congrats to other brother Michael and to Andrea for their wins and to all the HMs (4! for Scott!)

    Thanks to Jane for hosting and to the judges for keeping their comments flowing in.

  • Brenda
    4 years ago

    Congratulations to all the front page winners and HM's! Awesome writing everybody! Scott, major congratulations on your 4! Thank you to Jane and all the mods for all the hard work you guys do. Thank you judges for making the tough choices.

  • Michael
    4 years ago

    Hi all :)
    Thanks to Jane for hosting

    Congratulations to two other fine poets, which I share the front page with this week. To all the poets that received HMs. Well done Scott on his 4 HMs, great achievement!

    Thank you to all the judges for their time each week. Thank you also to the judges who chose my poem and lovely comments, much appreciated.

    Much love, M :)x