Funny answering machine messages

-You know what I hate about answering machine messages? They go on and on, wasting your time. I mean, all they really need to say is, "We aren't in, leave a message." That's why I've decided to keep mine simple and short. I pledge to you, my caller, that you will never have to suffer through another long answering machine message when you call me...

-Prepare for alpha test of Beep Software revision 1.05. Counting down to test: 5... 4... 3... 2... 1...

-Hi. This is __________ answering machine. He's not here, but I'm open to suggestions.

Comeon people add some:)

RIIIIIIIIIIIING....RIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIING.....

"Hello? HELLOOOOO?? Hey, you've reached my answering machine...leave me a message and i'll get back to you when i feel like it..."

Lol. :P It's not all that funny but hey....

Peaces. //Ari\\

lol come on people!

Caller: *waiting for someone to pick up*

Machine: *Picks up* "Hello, Hello?!"

Caller: "Hey it's me"

Machine: "Oh hey wazz up"

Caller: "Well I need ___ " *Whatever they want*

Machine: "Aha yeah,"

Caller: "Are you listening to me?"

Machine: "Yeah cool, well I'm not in so leave a message Beep________"

Caller: What the? Damn you!

My friend does that to me all the time! It's so funny when you're actually in it. Peace.

LMAO

haha omg that was great lol

yeah thats what i did to my friend...she called me and i was like

ME: hey wazzzzup??
HER: nuthing what r u doing?
ME: me??? just chillen..what did u do today?
HER: o i went to the mall
ME: what did u buy?
HER: well....blah blah blah

then i was like well to bad that i ain't here to listen so just leave me a message and i'll get back at u

then like a couple of days later she calls me and i decided to act like my answer machine...
i was like wazzzzup???
well i said everything that i said on the answe machine and she was like
"that stupid bitch never answers her phone" i was like
"excuse me"???
it was sooo funny...she did feel stupid afterwordz

brother: Hey, who's this?
ME: Hey, Alex--
brother: Yeah, what do you want?
ME: Well, I just wanted to know what your new machine said.
brother: Ha, ha, how does it feel talking to a machine? dumbass. Leave a message at the beep, motherfucker.

Hi. You've reached___________. I'm not in right now. Infact I'm down the street buying a new parrot. Leave a message and I'll get back to you. Oh and by the way when cleaning out a parrots cage with a vacume cleaner it's always best to first remove the parrot.

Lol.

'lol

"Hey, I'm probably here right now, but I'm trying to avoid someone I don't like. Leave a message after the beep and if I don't return your call, that person is you."

( )_( )
(='.'=)
(")-(") Arrivederci!

I was on the phone with my friend about a month ago, and I was gonna get in the shower, and she was gonna call me back, so I just made my message machine, " Hey it's avery, I'm not here right now cause I'm in the shower, so leave me a message!"
Yeah...it's been 3 months and I havent changed it. :)

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