Poetic justice and EOP club challenge post here

Please dont Go

While your walking close to me
And touch my skin so gently
I feel the coldness of your kiss and embrace
So cold that burn my skin and face

Your smile although yet so captivating
But not that bright like sun in the morning
Your trying to say all the good things
So tell me why your eyes were lying

Obviously I know that theres something wrong
And you dint want to hurt my feeling
So you keep the secret about your leaving
Thinking that I dint feel a great pain

You know that my life will surely end when you leave me
That your the only girl who can comfort me
Your my remedy who cure all this pain
So please dont go and please dont leave me here

___________________________________________
Poetic Justice

Rejection
by ~*Sachi*~

Those words were thrown out
before I could pull them back.
And now my heart
is thrown off of track.

I can't believe
they escaped so easily.
What, now,
must you think of me?

Those three words,
"I love you",
have so much effect
yet words so few.

Now that I've said
what's on my mind,
take a gun,
if you'd be so kind

and shoot the bullets
into my head.
Maybe this won't hurt
if I'm dead.

Please just say
anything at all.
Don't just stand there
and watch me fall.

Now that my soul is bared
what will you say?
Will you return my love?
Or will you push me away?
___________________________________________
*~*Poetic Justice*~*

~Last Strand~

(Verse 1)
My desires are beguiling,
a fabrication of the truth.
The lies are all compiling,
escaping from the sleuth.

(Chorus)
Can run, but cannot hide,
with every passing stride,
I die a little more inside,
my passion won't subside.

(Verse 2)
My efforts are misleading,
misdirected by my lust.
Yet, you'll find me pleading,
to gain eternal trust.

(Verse 3)
Bonds will soon be broken,
I will not play the tease.
Words I've left unspoken,
will now come out with ease.

(Chorus)
Can run, but cannot hide,
with every passing stride,
I die a little more inside,
my passion won't subside.

(Verse 4)
Words that I've bestowed,
now will be relinquished.
My hearts been overflowed,
with things I can't distinguish.

(Verse 5)
Ties with loosened ends,
will soon settle in my hands.
With each agonizing bend,
I loosen the last strand.

(Chorus)
Can run, but cannot hide,
with every passing stride,
I die a little more inside,
my passion won't subside,
my passion won't subside.

~Sean Dohr~

EOP represent...

The Painter

So here I am again-
Sitting in the same washed out picture
of the same washed out relationship
In the same washed out frame-
You and I solely shared!

And why do I still choose to stay in this picture?
Where the colours are fading
And the strokes of blood and hate
cripple from the paintbrush.

With time it seems you're words start to fade,
Yet when I look up there they are
never in short supply
Like a jagged crystal blade.
And I scream in pitches of fear...
But the painter...
Which is you- it appears
Will secretly paint the space with flowers
Colours so bright...
And when I look away again
You'll quickly remove them with all your might!

And so I ask myself why do I keep looking away,
Knowing the Painter will paint those words again?
The echoing chills of paint through my heart,
Jagged knives with a frozen start.

Now I sit
In this dark, clustered room my heart created
Just to cope
.............I Think..........
I don't know what or why it does these things!

And the stroke seeks me out again.
It finds me where i hide,
It's following your hand
The Painter
And once you are done-
With this portrait, you'll through it aside....
JUST ANOTHER PORTRAIT OF JUST ANOTHER GIRL THAT BELIEVED YOUR LIES!!!!

POETIC JUSTICE

My number One
by ♪↑Musicians Finest♪↑

Theres a tear running down
Its heading toward the floor
but you came and wiped it away
'til all the tears were no more

Theres a Thunderstorm on me
The Rain Pours where i stand
but you came with an umbrella
and then came and held my hand

And at that very second we touch
The rain storms out of my way
and you've done this all the time
since we first met on new yr's day

Your beautiful like a sweet garden
you stand out like the moon in the sky
You make me who i am today
with you by me i can fly

You make me feel good about me
Your my Queen and I'm the king
You make me So happy
Your the wind beneath my wing

ill give you anything you desire
ill give you everything you deserve
ill never ever treat you wrong
Or even try and get on your nerve

You are everything to me baby
You are my life my gift
My priceless gift to my heart
your what i praise and lift

I'll scream my love for you
i want the whole world to know
your the only one in my heart
theres no-one in-front or below

I had a broken tore heart
and it was reaching out for you
Torn into millions of pieces
but you helped my heart come new

You showed theres light
you showed me theres hope
you showed me you can love
and that i can use you to cope

Your always there when needed
your just only a call away
and once i hear your voice
I feel your heart stay

I love you so much baby
I'm the flower your the sun
I need you every-night
Cause your my Number 1

*******Poetic****************JUSTICE*****

Someone Like You
by Tina

When I'm with you
I feel so free
Knowing that no matter what
You will always love me

I can tease and joke
With you knowing I'm not for real
Nothing that anyone can say
Can change the way you feel

If anybody hurts me
You tell me they will pay
I know that you are too kind to do it
And I wouldn't have it any other way

I'm just so fortunate
To have found someone like you
Who reminds me everyday
That he feels the way I do

((((((Tina's Poem..She couldnt be here today)))))
``~~~```~~~~PoEtiC JuStiCe```~~~```~~~

Is it Love

Laying in your arms
feeling safe and secure
feelings I once lost
have now recurred

An emotional dilemma
I must now incur
not knowing exactly
which way to turn

Wanting you to stay
yet another night
yearning for the next time
that you hold me tight

Thoughts revolving around you
every day and night
wavering in my stance
that I once had on life

My destination unknown
while traveling this road
my future undetermined
if it's you that I will forever hold

--Sherry Lynn Hull Richardson

EOP

Widow Martyrdom

Two spiders meet.
Web and bush in a twist.
Despite hazard, a male bravely insists
preparing to complete his ancient feat.

Searching for his prize,
marked by a red star.
He will travel wide and far
to find the spider twice his size.

When he finds her they will dance
a tangle that ends with his severed head
but the ultimate legacy honors the dead
soon his sons will hunt females to entrance.

Some call it instinct, I know love’s the explanation
going to the end of his world for her.
If she was pleased he could endure
even putting down his life without hesitation.

If not this, what is love?

-------------------------
EOP :)

Mama, Lock Up Your Son
by Д βєąµ†ιƒµℓ £ιэ (EOP)

You said “I want to take you out, girl.”
but then you only break me down
Blow me off in circles of marijuana smoke
You said you want to take me out
But spend your nights jerking off alone

You said you want to flaunt me,
Like the bling around your neck
Like I’m your favorite possession
But you haven’t claimed me yet

My brother’s finding all your favorite haunts
And telling you what he wants for me
But he never asked me
No one ever asked me

You come up and try to please me,
But I’m not making it that easy
Touch me, tease me, then you freeze me out
I know where you’re coming from now

EOP

Whoop Whoop! Go EOP!

i Love everyones(both clubs) so far! great job gals-hey if u can use guys for everyone i can use gals. =]
xD

xLaurenx

PJ-10
EOP-6... 4 more poems

Washing Away
By: Jacklyn
Club: EOP

Grabbing a hold of a peaceful breeze
breathing in deeply, smelling the sea
closing my eyes relaxing all thoughts
Temporary lost, tangled within love

Laying naked upon the sandy sea shore
allowing the waves to crash upon my soul
Washing away my past broken hopes
casting my heart to his caring arms

Exposing my eyes to anew horizon skies
viewing a sunset, allowing nothing to hide
Revealing emotions locked away long ago
as we lay there together, becoming just one

The Harshness of Reality
By Twisted Heart
EOP

They say that love can fill an ocean
sail a ship across the sea
Fly a kite above the clouds
or tame an angry honey bee

They say mere words of love bring hope
mending broken fences everyday
It's known to heal a tarnished heart
or chase the blues away

They say that love is the answer
to questions we may have through time
and it's the only thing that matters
to give it up would be a crime

That is what they say to me
as I travel through my life
They never bothered telling me
how love could cut you like a knife

They never said my heart could die
that trust and faith would both be gone
or cause me to scream in pain
when I was treated wrong

They never said to me it crushes
mortals agonized and broken
because they too believed the lie
when those three words were spoken

The harshness of reality
that love has brought to me
Is bittersweet and locked away
and needs no company

Bump

Alright it is done

We each have 10 Post's..

So whoever is judge
please do so

Wow, this is radiculous! Poetic Justice, you guys are all amazing poets, no doubt!!! Congrats to all my fellow EOP members! JHarrison, it's nice to share the podium with you again...haha.

Haha, I always have the word radical in the back of my mind when trying to spell the word ridiculous...haha. Well, thanks for the correction.

^*embarrassed*

Ugh..what is it with using"I" and "the", I see many people use them all the time. Anyway, congrats to all the poets who put their poems in the challenge,it was fun for sure.

yup yup

Congrats

Congrats, all!

hahahaha
IM SO HAPPY WITH THE RESULT
u r the best judge sunny

Maybe it's just me, but aren't those words necessary in some poems. I mean, how can they be replaced?

Agreed...

Best laugh about this was we got told to use I love you poems...
Originally it was any love poems,
in which many wrote different categories..
Im not saying u guys didnt win hands down cos u did...
Str8 up...
but most of these lot r kids, and still trying to better themselves and learn from you lot...
Have a little respect Dwelt...
You lot are practically parents to most of these, and knocking them down for some great poems of their age is not a nice or "Adult" thing to do...
Give it a rest man...
Granted ur an awesome poet, but give them some credit for even trying to take you on lol
They not gonna improve if you knock their self esteem down,
and desigirl your that sad and pathetic you would...
DESIGIRL FEEL FREE TO DOWN VOTE ME AGAIN, COS THATS HOW PATHETIC YOU ARE

Agreed with EUPHORIC...

Desigirl wot is ur problem??
What's the point of downvoting? you are just wasting your time..
I didnt know you were THAT sad

AND Congrats EOP!

Congrats to the poets of EOP and my club poetic justicce, what matters is not who won but how the competitors could benefit from this experience, so thanks for the opportunity it was greatly appreciated and THANK YOU Sunny for taking your time to judge! Hopefully in the near future we could take you on again lol and hopefully place somewhere! So thanks again, but as been said before a lot of us are young and still learning and we welcome any advice that you'd like to give us!
And Desigirl I am not going to lower my standards but I think you need to move leave what happened behind you, learn from it and grow as a person and poet- you need to, I'm not being ugly or anything but i think downvoting my members poems etc is really beneath a lady like yourself- Please don't prove me wrong!

Enjoy your day and thanks again to Sunny, EOP and my members who participated!
mwah!
Tash

I'm 16...

I have e-mailed desigirl and await a response...

Im not even gonna say anything bout desi-girl
i already got in trouble from the admins about
me going off on her and stuff..
anywayz
congrats EoP..

congrats, EOP! beautiful poems! great job everyone!

but, um . . . where's the other judge?

I guess I should be grateful for the changes dwelt made on my poem, and I am. However, I am an amatuer poet, don`t really care what the professionals think about my work. But this is not sour grapes, I appreciate the critique Bob, I write the way I write, cannot help it. I always appreciate comments on my work, and it seems you are the only one who honestly says what he feels. Thank you. Timothy r

I think you are all great poets...
yes, Sean Dohr, i did notice u were 16 lol...
I meant in general...
Most of the poets from EOP in the comp were 30+
and they should have a little more respect and offer advice in a more respectful way rather than kick someone's self esteem in the teeth

Poetic Justice...We come and we see
that we were no match for EoP
take it as a lesson that we come to agree
Were modern poets while they got a poetic degree

So lets go out there and fix what we conceal
Give our wounds a rest, and watch it heal
Dont take it being harsh, take it as a happy meal
just try to re-arrange and change, no big deal

Eop we will come back to play again sometime
we'll use a diffrent topic, and use a diffrent rhyme
Then have you stunned, and permit a crime
of being so good, as u watch our skill just climb..

I dont know.
I was bored..lol

Yeah, us "oldies" just can`t do it anymore..lmao! Seiously, it is good to see young ppl with so much talent here. Onward and upward we all go.

Yup.
just gotta hope us "Modern" poets give poetry a new meaning and style..

Let me quote from a previous post...
"You lot are practically parents to most of these, and knocking them down for some great poems of their age is not a nice or "Adult" thing to do..."

I wasnt aiming it at all of you maybe i shud have rephrased it.
But it was mainly aimed at DWELT for his post,
i just noticed that a few others of your poets were 30+, i didnt make it a job to check all of you...

This is the post i was referring to..
"you'd think that a challenge would bring out better quality poems among some who are considered to be topnotch, wow, what a huge disappointment, and the continual usage of I this and I that, the words, "the", "and", "like" make it seem that many of you in the clubs have gotten away from learning the basic principles of the craft........Although I see some of you still can put together some amazing stuff....But for the most part, the poems were mediocre"

You cant expect every person on this site to write like the winners cos you guys poems were amazing..
But let off on the little guys that are still learning the craft?? Thats kinda low..
Especially from someone Dwelt's age..

Exactly!

Beautifully broken i think you slighlt misunderstood the post about- he didn't say it's the reason you won. Also I think a lot of you have been writing a lot longer then some of my members and great writing comes with experience and practice but more importantly help, so please feel free to critique our work we'll greatly appreciate it!

I'm not saying be false.
What i am saying is be true in a slightly more caring way...
ie.. Rather than the way you worded it as a "huge disappointment", you could have said
"Poetic Justice your poems could improve by using the words, "I", "the", "and", "like" alot less frequently", and then gave ya example...
The way you said it, it put alot of people down,
You worded it different and you could have avoided that and still got your point across..
Doesn't take a lot to think about what you say...
And trust me im a prime example of being blunt,
i dont pussy-footing about people, if i got something to say ill say it...
Check some of the comments i have left people, but also note the way i said them...
It doesn't discourage but it gets my point across...

I totally agree with you in that criticism is the best way to improve someone, all i am saying is word it differently and take note of the way you are saying things..
I actually like criticism on my poems,
as most people say "yes, liked it" or "that was great", but that dont tell me nothing..
I want to improve as a poet, and i do believe people should let me know how to improve,
again I completely ignore ratings because they don't tell me nothing...
I welcome you to say it as harsh as you like to me, i can take the criticism, but to do that to the guys in Poetic Justice i did not like, they are mainly young..
We have guys from about 13 - 21 (me being one of the oldest)
sorry if everything has been misunderstood, but thats the way it all came across..