Ten Things Not To Say In A Job Interview

I figured quite a few people here might now have finished their full-time education and are out looking for work.

Here's my handy guide for getting through an interview. I'm sure there's more to add, but...

Ten Things Not To Say In A Job Interview

1: I applied for the job because there's a bar right next door.
2: A 9am start? Right. And what time do you realistically expect me here?
3: No, I have no degree. But I get a lot of spam mail offering them. Worth it, you think?
4: What’s the company's policy regarding crack?
5: No, I've never been a follower of all this personal hygeine crap.
6: Look, if the tables were turned I'd probably not give YOU the job, either.
7: Are the PC's powerful enough to run decent games, or am I stuck with Solitaire?
8: Wow. You have an amazing ass!
9: Why is there a picture of you with a monkey on your desk? It's your wife? Oops!
10: I am the Angel of Death. The time for purification is at hand.

would u say any of that stuff if u didn't get the job?

Okay let me try...(I suck at these things)
-Excuse me sir, but talking to your butt doesn't help. *akward pause* oh, oops that's just your face.

lol.. i like that one :)

lmfao! "its your wife?" classic

hahaha.... i would say those things

Um. I actually said something along the lines of number 5 to my current boss. But, I was kidding. I was trying to ease my tension. I have been working there for about eight months =). It worked for me. Hah. By the way.. I take showers.. and use deodorant. =ll.

-ScreenplayOfDesire.

Lol, this one's taken from Family Guy.

Employer: "Tell me, where do you see yourself in 5-10 years."

Peter (Thinking): "Don't say doin' your wife, Don't say doin' your wife, Don't say doin' your wife."

Peter (Speaking): Uhh...doin' your...son?

HAHAHAHAHA, that one's awesome.

i would totally say #10. you know, i think i'll say it to my teacher tomorrow. just to see what he does. i personally think it'd be quite funny. i will report back with his reaction.

lmao, they were really funny.

would have to be lucky number seven for me....i'd defnatly say that to my boss, she'd probably answer me back with no there not so dont try installing!!

october xx

11] Who's butt do I have to kiss to get my weekends off?
12] I'm not meaning to second guess you, but are you sure about that?
13] Are you wearing a toupee?
14] What do you mean there's no smoking on the assembly line, I have my rights, you know.
15] That uniform clashes with my hair and skin color. Does it come in red?

Okay, I know, pretty silly. But had to add my 2 cents worth.

i like number 11, id defnatly have the gutts to say that now... would be soooo funny...

october xx

# 13 would be great if you had a woman boss : ]

ha ha! there mint! how bout

19) I only applied because the police said i had to stop dealing drugs

(lol)

lol my bad....Family guys AWESOME!!!

Yeah that has been mentioned already! Read the thread first!

Hows about when filling out an application form?
Q: What name would you like to have printed on your name tag?
A: GOD!

Q: Where do you see your self in ten years?
A: Anywhere but this dump

Q: What are your hobbies?
A: Fireworks, Office parties, Making fun of coffee machines, photocopying my butt, and....Id have to say document confetti..

Yeah those suck....add moreeee!

these are hilarious, but i can't think of any, soz!

Sorry to interupt but you where born a man right?

OR

Sorry to interupt but I just wanna say I'm TOTALLY ok with the Gay thing ok?