My Chemical Romance Contest. =)

-------------------------------------CLOSED--------------------

Most of you know how I judge contests..if not..I copy & paste without names, take .5 off for each category a mistake you made was placed in. I don't place by scores, I place by my own preference..the scores are just a guide to help you. I try and do an equilibrium of nice & harsh criticism. If it's too harsh, sorry. But, I hope it helps you even if you are upset about it, I know it was harsh criticism that helped me. =)

Blood; By: Broken - Hmm, for such a short poem, I actually did quite enjoy it. Now, don't get me wrong I DO like short poems...it's just most of the time they are straight to the point and hold no emotion in them whatsoever. I did, however, feel the emotion in yours, and I read it over a few times and liked it more every time. It's nice to see a poet that I haven't read much of pull something like this off and make me want to read more of their work. Good job, Darling.
GRAMMAR - 3.5/5
SPELLING 3/3
CONTENT 5/5
FLOW 5/5
ABILITY TO FOLLOW TYPE OF POETRY 2/2
TOTAL 18.5/20

Famous Last Words; By: Carrie - I liked this. Haha, vague, I know..but I really did. The questions stuck in my mind, and usually I HATE questions within poetry..because you are telling a story..not conducting an interview. Nonetheless, in this piece, the questions worked. And they worked to your advantage. Great job.
GRAMMAR - 4.5/5
SPELLING 3/3
CONTENT 4/5
FLOW 3.5/5
ABILITY TO FOLLOW TYPE OF POETRY 2/2
TOTAL 17/20

Disenchanted; By: Racheal - For some reason, it didn't feel right when I read it out loud. When I read it in my head, it was alright..but out loud, something didn't quite fit..and I know it isn't helpful when I say that and don't know what it was, so I'm sorry for that lol, I don't know what it was. Aside from that, I did like the poem, it held a lot of emotion and told a story..which is all it needed to do.
GRAMMAR - 4.5/5
SPELLING 3/3
CONTENT 3.5/5
FLOW 4.5/5
ABILITY TO FOLLOW TYPE OF POETRY 1/2
TOTAL 16.5/20

I Don't Love You; By: Ciao - Some of it was a little off, and some of it was right on to what I was looking for. You have a way, with your poetry and your words, to captivate a reader and pull them into the story as if they can see it all happening. And in this one, that part was just a tad off. You did a great job as always, don't get me wrong..but you needed to use just a little more imagery. But, I loved it still. =) Heartchuu.
GRAMMAR - 4.5/5
SPELLING 3/3
CONTENT 4.5/5
FLOW 4.5/5
ABILITY TO FOLLOW TYPE OF POETRY - 2/2
TOTAL 18.5/20

Dead; By: Mooie - Just let me start off by saying wow. This was unbelievable. It captivated me, and I adored this. It was full of emotion and it told the story without skipping around and overloading it with cliches and metaphors..amazing wouldn't sum this up for what it's worth so I don't know what to say haha. Great job, love.
GRAMMAR - 5/5
SPELLING 3/3
CONTENT 5/5
FLOW 4.5/5
ABILITY TO FOLLOW TYPE OF POETRY 1.5/2
TOTAL 19/20

The Sharpest Lives; By: Sheena - Darling, your work always impresses me, and this one did just that. You have a way that just, AHH gets to me haha. I don't know how to explain it and it makes me mad, but son of a gun, I sure did love this. Your words, your imagery, your vocabulary...YOUR TALENT haha, I loved this. Heartchuu.
GRAMMAR - 5/5
SPELLING 3/3
CONTENT 5/5
FLOW 4/5
ABILITY TO FOLLOW TYPE OF POETRY - 0/2
TOTAL 17/20

Cancer; By: Espoir*failed - I LOVED this, the imagery was amazing. And I loved the emotion put forth in your writing, it captivated me. I've never really sat down and said to myself to read a bunch of your work, which I do with a lot of writers on here, but after today I just might have to do this. =) Great job.
GRAMMAR - 5/5
SPELLING 2/3
CONTENT 4/5
FLOW 4.5/5
ABILITY TO FOLLOW TYPE OF POETRY - 0/2
TOTAL 15.5/20

This Is How I Disappear; By: Terra - Dear, this is your big break. I have loved most of your poems, and this one set it off for me, this is your best one. And I don't know if you will take that as a compliment or an insult..or both..but just know that I love you. =) haha.
GRAMMAR - 4.5/5
SPELLING 3/3
CONTENT 5/5
FLOW 4.5/5
ABILITY TO FOLLOW TYPE OF POETRY - 1/2
TOTAL 18/20

Welcome To the Black Parade; By: Josie - A part of me screamed: "I love this!" And another part of me screamed: "She's written way better!" So I'm halfsies on this one. Don't take this the wrong way, I did love it...but parts of it really threw me off.
GRAMMAR - 3.5/5
SPELLING 3/3
CONTENT 5/5
FLOW 5/5
ABILITY TO FOLLOW TYPE OF POETRY - .5/2
TOTAL 17/20

The End; By: Sarah Elliot - I loved the overall content of the poem, but the beginning of the lines really threw me off. I don't know, in a way it was getting the point through, but in another way it was too repetitious.
GRAMMAR - 3.5/5
SPELLING 3/3
CONTENT 5/5
FLOW 5/5
ABILITY TO FOLLOW TYPE OF POETRY - .5/2
TOTAL 17/20

Placings at bottom, as well as prizes.

I'll have The end, thank you.

THIS IS HOW I DISAPEAR!!!!

please and thankyou sweety :o)

I Don't Love You! Great title! iheartchu!

Ciao~

Jenna,

House of Wolves, please

Thanks,
Jeannie

Famous Last Words please :)

Racheal, by set style I mean a style of poetry, not just the typical poetry but like Terzanelle, Villonnet, Acrostic, Sonnet, Tanka, Haiku...hahah, just a style of poetry! =)

Mooie, teehee, I love MCR as well, listening to them right now, concert on May 17, can't fricken wait!! =)

Everyone is reserved. ^_^

Because I lovers Jenna so much, I found a site ((I think you use this one for SOW...))

http://www.shadowpoetry.com/resources/wip/types.html

All different styles and it describes them all.. =]
xxheartchuuxx
Ciao~

Haha yes that is the one I use for SOW, unless I know the descriptions and am too lazy to wait for it to load, haha, thanks doll!.

Working on mine now...
=]

Ciao~

Ahhh.
[[Shoots self]]
All the good ones are taken! [Sulks sadly away.] =[

Well. I look at all your contests and see the great reviews you give . . . and I yern for such reviews. o.O
Reserve "The Sharpest Lives" for me, please. I'll see what I can do.

xTheEcstasyOfSuicidex

Hahaa aweh Sheena Dear, you know you'd always get a great review from me :$

Alrighty, all reserved. =)

Famous Last Words

What shall be my words in death?
Will they ring and steal your breath?
Forever trapped within your mind,
Full of wisdom left behind.

Echoing through both time and age,
Could I be held forth as a sage?
If only to the ones I know,
The ones I touched so long ago.

Souls who know how much I care,
Who've been there through the wear and tear,
Shall I be their tainted muse,
Deeply set within their views.

The inspiration that they need,
When the world grows cold with greed,
Will my words find fame and glory,
Living on to tell my story.

They could be famous, changing lives,
We'll only know when death arrives,
To think now of what I would say,
Would only take worth from that day.

Quatrain
A Quatrain is a poem consisting of four lines of verse with a specific rhyming scheme.

A few examples of a quatrain rhyming scheme are as follows:

#1) abab
#2) abba -- envelope rhyme
#3) aabb
#4) aaba, bbcb, ccdc, dddd -- chain rhyme

Plz reserve me, "Sleep"

I got mine Miss Jenna Dear! heartchaa!

I Don't Love You [Rondel]

I pride myself on the truth; I Don't Love You.
Broken hearts aren't for me anymore!
Why would I care when you just choose to ignore?
Awe, you poor thing! What are you to do?!

Without me now, you're lost and you're screwed.
What did you think, I was some kind of chore?
I pride myself on the truth; I Don't Love You.
Broken hearts aren't for me anymore!

So stand there and watch as I bid my final adieu-
And as you continue to fall, watch as I soar.
Just to think, you used to be the boy I adored.
I'll move on; I'll find someone new.
I pride myself on the truth; I Don't Love You.

````````````````````````
Rondel:
A French form consisting of 13 lines: two quatrains and a quintet, rhyming as follows:
ABba abAB abbaA. The capital letters are the refrains, or repeats.

Thank-you guys. It's all updated.

Jenna,

I am so sorry, but I am going to have to pull out of this contest. I have tried and tried to write this, but can't seem to get a good one that is a different style that works.

Again, I am so sorry.

Always,
Jeannie

Could i have cancer please xx

Jean,

It is quite alright, I would love to have you in this contest because I love reading your work but if you can't do it, that's fine. =)

May i reserve house of wolves...please...and i will get it to you as soon as i can
<3 silhouette

One of the rules says...specific syle.....do u mean like....it cant be regular abcb?

Disturbed, yes. I want a style, not typical stanza but a set style.

The Sharpest Lives

The sharpest lives we live,
In such a deadly shame.
In a world full of deceit,
With a hatred we can't tame.

We hide behind every lie,
Which we consume at birth.
We feed from it until we die;
There's nothing to this Earth.

The sun shines so bright,
Yet still behind smiles we hide.
Within our lives there is no light,
No inner soul to confide.

Let man take our dreams,
And throw them in our face.
It isn't as hard as it seems,
They've consumed the human race.

Ruin my dreams and I'll build new ones,
With exactly the same views.
I'll bring the devil in with a whirl of guns,
To your sanitary pews.

So, to my heart let the devil speak;
I'll give you my style of sin.
This is a definite no, no I will seek,
In hearts of so many men.

It's just like the sharpest lives we live,
In such a godly, sinful shame.
With nothing but a world that doesn't give,
Through a killing hatred we can't tame.

Shame on me for being me,
A person all on my own.
Shame on me to see,
And stand up all alone.

I will not follow the crowd;
I will stick up for what I believe is right.
I will speak loud because I'm proud
In a world that's a sad, sad sight.

It's just like the sharpest lives we live,
In such a godly, sinful shame.
This is a definite no, no I will seek,
In hearts of so many men.

xTheEcstasyOfSuicidex

I'll give this a shot. :) Could I please reserve "Mama"?

Thanks.

Sure thing. And Sheena, it seems all the posts are doing this haha, but if you can press edit on it and then just edit again, it'll stop it from being all bunched up.

Cancer by Espoir*failed

Let's break the fist of fear,
And twist till someone hears.
Then scream from all the pain,
Please no pretences here.

So scream from all the pain,
And succumb to the life of rain.
Watch as every tear falls,
And know life will never be the same.

And as every tear falls,
Ache to breathe recall,
Long and empty draw the nights
I left you bawling in the hall.

Long and empty draw the nights,
My veneer is threatened by fright
Line up for the slaughter,
They know every word I recite.

Line up for the slaughter,
I'm your fatherless daughter,
I prevail only in the silence,
Come hell or high water.

I prevail only in the silence,
As my beliefs are jeopardised only by science,
I heard what you said,
No point of any defiance.

I heard what you said,
Now it's always in my head.
I heard what you said,
Are you forever dead?

(i cannot remember the name of this type of poem, but i promise you it is one!!!)
in memory of dad xx

I'm so sorry, but I'm going to have to pull out of this contest. A relative just passed away, and I'm finding it way too difficult to concentrate on this.

I'm really sorry.

It's fine Honey, I'm sorry about your loss, just take the time for yourself and get better.

(L)

I am also sorry about your loss :hugs:

This is How I Disappear [Sonnet]

Deep within my sky blue eyes, sadness grows
As in my mind I flinch at forgiveness
Heaven knows that you are my one true rose
Even so, with my hate I must confess

Swimming in the blackness there is my soul
I have lost all sight of you; you are gone
I cannot allow myself to console
There’s nothing left of the blood you have drawn

You have slashed my heart, my soul, and my mind
And you sit there as if nothing went wrong
It is our sisterhood that you’ve confined
Do you expect me to stay standing strong?

You have the advantage my dear sister
Unlike you… I cannot be sinister

-/2 Terra

Is this still open? If yes, may I please have Welcome to the Black Parade?

Thanks

Josie

Welcome to the Black Parade [Mirrored Refrain]

Wandering down the streets of Hell
I began to feel afraid.
The Devil said as he took my hand
"Welcome to the Black Parade".

I followed behind
The marching band
"Welcome to the Black Parade"
The Devil said as he took my hand.

All the followers were dead and looking for more
Stalking the streets, each armed with blades
The Devil said as he took my hand
"Welcome to the Black Parade".

There were bouts of violence
Breaking out across the land
"Welcome to the Black Parade"
The Devil said as he took my hand.

An explosion to my left, one to my right
Another "unloving" wielding a grenade
The Devil said as he took my hand
"Welcome to the Black Parade".

Soon all were dead
No one remained and
"Welcome to the Black Parade"
The Devil said as he took my hand.

Josie
Copyright©JosieWentzel25April2007
------------------------------------------------------------

Mirrored refrain has the following rhyme scheme:
xaBA xbAB xaBA xbAB...etc...

Sorry I took so long to get it done.
--------------------------------------------------------
The end
By Sarah Elliott

This is the end of my worries and tears
The end of all my problems and nightmares
The end of all my bloody scars and fears
The end of my torture and hated stares
The end of my hurting and no one cares
The end of my agony and heartache
The end of my shameful life that was fake
------------------------------------------------------

Rhyme Royal:
A poem consisting 7 lines with 10 syllables per line. The rhyme scheme is ababbcc:-

Line 1: a
Line 2: b
Line 3: a
Line 4: b
Line 5: b
Line 6: c
Line 7: c

Hun I just realized that April only has 30 days, not 31... lmao... so then it's closed... hehe. <33

HAHA! Ohh, look at that. So it is, I will judge tomorrow. =)

First - An add to my favorites, if not already there..plus 10 r/r/c
Second - An add to my favorites, if not already there plus 8 r/r/c
Third - 5 r/r/c
HM - There will be 3 of them, each with 3 r/r/c each
Everyone else - 2 r/r/c

Leave the titles or else I will not do them!

And the winners are..

First - Sheena
Second - Mooie
Third - Terra
HM - Espoir*failed
HM - Ciao
HM - Broken

Congrats all.

Can you please do:
-The last jump
-Pot of gold.
Thank you.

Ah, thanks for your criticism babe! Idk which ones you haven't done, so plz choose any that you haven't done! <33 heartcha oodles!

Thanks so much Lush, not only for your review but also giving everyone comments :) My 2 titles are:

Close To The Flame
&
Echoes

Thanks!

Thank you so much, i really appreciate the review, and the comments will be great no matter what poems, thanks a lotxx

Foul is Fair (Septuplet Tetractys)
Chill of the air
Count on me
Praying for peace
Lady Macbeth (acrostic)