Don't You Fake It

------------------------------CLOSED-----------------------------RESULTS AT BOTTOM

Seventeen Ain't So Sweet ; By: Britt - Wow! I read through it a few times and I had copied out your description as well and it made much more sense once I read the description and than read through it once more. I loved this, it brought tears to my eyes and that's what I was hoping for with this. We all make mistakes in our past that effect our future and this is an amazing way of portraying those mistakes. I didn't even notice it was an acrostic until I re-opened P&Q to see who the writers are! Haha, great job Darling. =]
SPELLING - 1.5/3
GRAMMAR - 5/5
CONTENT - 5/5
FLOW - 5/5
FOLLOWED RULES - 2/2
TOTAL - 18.5

Your Guardian Angel ; By: Holy Hellcat - Well at first I didn't quite get it but than I went back and re-read it and it made a lot more sense reading it out loud. You used great words to describe the story and the imagery was great - it really stuck out to me, good job, Dear. =]
SPELLING - 2.5/3
GRAMMAR - 5/5
CONTENT - 5/5
FLOW - 4/5
FOLLOWED RULES - 1/2
TOTAL - 17.5/20

Seventeen Ain't So Sweet ; By: Carrie- I loved the descriptions that you used in this poem and I really liked the ending as well, it was strong and brought it all together, good job. =]
SPELLING - 3/3
GRAMMAR - 4.5/5
CONTENT - 5/5
FLOW - 5/5
FOLLOWED RULES - 2/2
TOTAL - 19.5/20

Grim Goodbye ; By: Wings of Flames - I love war poems so this one really spoke to me, you used great imagery to explain everything so I was able to create the picture in my head. Great job, Darling. =]
SPELLING - 2/3
GRAMMAR - 5/5
CONTENT - 5/5
FLOW - 5/5
FOLLOWED RULES - 2/2
TOTAL - 19/20

Cat and Mouse ; By: SecludedSerendipity - Wow, I was not expecting this kind of outcome and this really hit me because sexual abuse poems really get to me. You explained everything maturely without going a bit out of line with the descriptions which some people seem to have a problem of doing with sexual abuse poems, great job Deary. =]
SPELLING - 3/3
GRAMMAR - 5/5
CONTENT - 5/5
FLOW - 5/5
FOLLOWED RULES - 2/2
TOTAL - 20/20

Damn Regret ; By: Britt - Another great one from you Dear, I loved the emotion in this and I know that many girls (or boys even) can relate to this. Great job. =]
SPELLING - 3/3
GRAMMAR - 5/5
CONTENT - 5/5
FLOW - 5/5
FOLLOWED RULES - 2/2
TOTAL - 20/20

Misery Loves Its Company ; By: Espoir*failed - Wow, again, you amaze me and you continue to do so. Your wording was great and you pulled me in from the first stanza on. I especially loved the second stanza how you used an allusion in it, that was a great add Darling. :]
SPELLING - 2/3
GRAMMAR - 4.5/5
CONTENT - 4.5/5
FLOW - 4.5/5
FOLLOWED RULES - 2/2
TOTAL - 17.5/20

Face Down ; By: Josie - You skipped from one idea to another at one point in your poem and that is one thing that really got to me, other than that you did a great job with such a short poem, you got a lot of emotion and depth through.
SPELLING - 3/3
GRAMMAR - 4.5/5
CONTENT - 5/5
FLOW - 4.5/5
FOLLOWED RULES - 2/2
TOTAL - 18.5/20

Damn Regret ; By: DrowningDreams - You should have taken more time to edit through this and fix the mistakes as well as followed the rules. It's should always be capitalized, and there were a few spelling mistakes that stuck out to me. Also, I asked there to be no suicidal/cutting poems and this was a cutting poem. As a picky reader with OCD, spelling mistakes get to me and I am sure they get to a lot of other readers as well and with a lot of them there, the reader will focus more on them. Just take more time to edit your work and you should be fine. :]
SPELLING - 2/3
GRAMMAR - 1.5/5
CONTENT - 2/5
FLOW - 4/5
FOLLOWED RULES - 1/2
TOTAL - 10.5/20

Justify ; By: Heavy Hearts Bleed - I loved the descriptions in this, I could really relate to this as I'm sure many other readers can as well and that is what readers look for when reading poems is something they can relate to; so good job on that. The repetition of a few choice words really did the poem some good because the main ideas then stuck out more. Keep it up Dear. :]
SPELLING - 3/3
GRAMMAR - 4/5
CONTENT - 5/5
FLOW - 5/5
FOLLOWED RULES - 2/2
TOTAL - 19/20

False Pretence ; By: Sheena - Triolets are hard poems to write and tell a story in them, but you did a good job at it as you always do. There was one spelling mistake though, "immence" should be "immense" other than that nothing really stuck out to me. Except for the poem, of course, lol. :]
SPELLING - 2.5/3
GRAMMAR - 5/5
CONTENT - 5/5
FLOW - 5/5
FOLLOWED RULES - 2/2
TOTAL - 19.5/20

Waiting ; By: TheWorldFellNYouWerentThere - I loved how you ties waiting into time, it was creative, some may disagree but I found it good. It wasn't what I had expected to come out of this title which is also good. You used good wording and never really skipped around, all together..you did a good job. :]
SPELLING - 3/3
GRAMMAR - 4.5/5
CONTENT - 4.5/5
FLOW - 4.5/5
FOLLOWED RULES - 2/2
TOTAL - 18.5/20

If there can be more than 1 atrophy i want in. since he has dibbs on it.

I'm going to do misery loves its company,
thanks

Can I have, "Your Guardian Angel" please? Thanks!

"in fates hands" please?

Grim goodbye

"Cat and Mouse", please.

Face Down please..

Josie

"Seventeen Ain't So Sweet" please :)

Your guadian angel please

HA HA

Face down if it is still open please?
nessa

Misery Loves It's Company please :)

In fate hands please

Took the Sting, "I'll Be Watching You" approach, yes, it's creepy.

"Your Guardian Angel"

Watching from across the street
I see you walk alone
Your hands tucked inside your jacket
Can you feel that piece of yellow paper
I let you find?

Standing in the gutter
Blackened from the rain
Awkward lighting cuts across my pale features
Haggard appearance exaggerated,
by disheveled hair
A lack of sleep brought on by anxiety has
drawn dark circles under my eyes

You were out with the Christian girl again
who restores your soul back to yourself
but she's in love with someone else
the others don't deserve you

Approach the steps of your apartment complex
As though at the age of 23, you know
It will be the last place they will find you alive
Laugh at the thought, orchestrating the art of dying young

Enter room 209, already planning your escape
Another girl I wouldn't mind, you've had so many
It's the repugnant smell of alcohol
That forces me to keep my distance

Fall into a chair, and let a hand
Stroke back where your long black hair used to be
It still comes as a surprise to find it so well-groomed
A perfect imitation of your highschool memories
Glorified only after meeting me
and needing something to believe in

As you gaze up at the ceiling, the note is there in your pocket,
to read or not, it's nothing really,
just a reminder that
"I will always be there looking after you,
but I'm not giving in this time".

Seventeen Ain't So Sweet

Devilish green eyes,
Wafting in the mist,
Hanging by my soul,
All I can't resist.

Lust mistook for love,
Harder when it ends,
Thinking you know nothing,
It will never mend.

Each day is the last,
Love will never be,
Wisdom in this lesson,
One can never see.

Self worth came with age,
Knowledge found in thought,
Selfish wants lay dormant,
When needs are being sought.

I wander back to youth,
But just to reminisce,
Seventeen ain't so sweet,
Freedoms what you miss.

Espoir*failed asked to do 'misery loves its company'
too and you didnt say that. i just didnt want them to lose their spot :)

Grim Goodbye

The depths that we have taken,
To avoid the tragic line,
Of light and dark we are to hide,
And the victim's are to pine,

Ours shoulder's hung so heavy,
As we trudge to the pews,
The lost won't be forgotten,
As we march two by two,

Flags held for the heroes,
The victim's of the brave,
But subtle insignificant's,
Are lost inside the grave,

The nobodies of tomorrow,
Who choose a differed path,
Souls are lost and beaten,
By the grimmest of the half,

Hold your candles in the air,
Kiss your child goodnight,
Life in death will visit soon,
And there will never be a light.

Cat and Mouse
by SecludedSerendipity

She wanted a real home, not just a brick house,
Where she played the dreaded game of "Cat and Mouse".
Daddy chased her, as she ran away,
Then once she was caught, she was forced to "pay".
The sinful game went unknown to those
She kept it from, a secret she chose.

"Don't tell Mummy," her father said,
"It won't be me that would be left for dead."
She nodded in agreement, "Our little secret."
Not knowing how much this would cause regret
Later on in life as her scars began to show
All because she was too young to say "No."

Now sitting on the train, getting out of town,
No longer letting her father's sins get her down.
A woman now, not just a young child,
So for the first time in her life, she smiled.
Leaving behind that dark brick house,
Where she and Daddy played "Cat and Mouse".

"False Pretense," please. =]

xTheEcstasyofSuicidex

Misery loves its company

And we all know it doesn't work like that,
But I guess I'm loneliness again.
I'm not falling down that same old trap,
Where I had to breathe to keep insane.

Alice has her Wonderland,
But I don't have a place to go,
Deal with me this thunderhand,
And watch the lightening settle snow.

Company is best,
But misery told me so,
The roots are deeper than this guest,
who left so long ago.

We look at the stars after they died,
The only way to see into the past.
And misery all but denied
That this company would last.

So now, run with me fast,
Until these feelings have all passed.
But misery loves it company.
And I am so simple in contrast.

Face Down

I have fallen
Face down,
Face down
On the ground.
At first there is silence -
Not a sound -
But not for long.
Everybody around
Bursts out laughing
Laughing so hard.
They're lying on the ground
Killing themselves with laughter
As I lay face down
On the ground.

Josie

Copyright©JosieWentzel11May07

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This is really bad, but it just kinda leaked out of my head and onto paper...

Deadline now set.

SHOOT! I really wish I could of had Seventeen Ain't So Sweet...I hate it when I'm too slow. Umm, I guess I'll take Grim Goodbye please! Thank you! :)
~Midnight Sun
BTW- I love the red jumpsuit apparatus...great band!

Waiting plz.... ( I actually wrote a song with that title....can I post that?)
Charisma*

Sure can.
=]

Damn Regret
pleaseeee
and ill give it you nowww xx

Damn Regret

I loved you i honestly did,
I gave my heart to you.
Because i thought You cared.
Look at the fun times
We had together
Sat on a park bench, giggling
what ever the weather!
We walked for miles
in the rain,
and all it turn out to be pain!
I damn Regret, being with you at all!
your lies and cheats, i was such a fool
i damn regret it!
Specially,
Now my tainted wrists are sore and red!
I damn Regret iT
But Will You ever look at me every again;
And if you ever do,
You wil never see me
Just One Huge Damn regret!!

Sorry i totally forgot i enterd this contest ill have the poem by tommorow ok :D

Waiting

please&thankyou

False Pretence {Triolet}

Touch his heart it is false pretence,
And the farther in love I fall.
This feeling is so immence --
Touch his heart it is false pretence.
From all my impurities, rinse,
Get the nasty sin off it all;
Touch his heart it is false pretense,
And the farther in love I fall.
`````````````````````````````````````````````
A Triolet is a poetic form consisting of only 8 lines. Within a Triolet, the 1st, 4th, and 7th lines repeat, and the 2nd and 8th lines do as well. The rhyme scheme is simple: ABaAabAB, capital letters representing the repeated lines.
Make each line 8 syllables in length

xTheEcstasyofSuicidex

Grr. I spent like 10 minutes trying to find it and here it was in front of my face. (I'm a blonde, a pretty dumb one too.) lol.

Mine is over 24 tho. Do you still want me to re-enter (its kinda long) or try to rewrite it.

You can enter it as is, it will just effect the way it is judged is all.

Okay. I wrote another poem and I thought it suited this one pretty well so I'll enter the one I just wrote. (I put a different title for the other poem)

This poem is exactly 24 lines.

Waiting

You know how you can wait for the time to come,
But yet it passes all together,
Time never seems to wait,
And time never seems to stop.

The hours and the minutes tick by,
But never knowing how they pass,
When you're just sitting there,
Waiting for something to happen.

You can stare into space,
Trying to glimpse at just one thing,
To tell you that just once,
The time went by.

You wait so patiently,
Yet you wait for so long,
The minutes pass by fast,
And the hours pass on long and slow.

We live in the minutes and hours,
Of different days,
Never knowing how they past,
Just how they change us everyday.

I'm really sorry but I need to unreserve...I can't think of anything good enough. Nothing's coming to me. Sry again...hope I didn't keep anyone else from reserving that spot! Hope it goes well for yah!
~Midnight Sun

This is now closed, judging is in process and the results will be posted shortly

Alrighty, sorry this took me so long, started judging it at school and didn't have this class again until today, lol.

First - Britt
Second - Espoir*failed
Third - SecludedSerendipity
HM - Sheena
HM - Heavy Hearts Bleed

First gets 8 r/r/c
Second gets 6 r/r/c
Third gets 4 r/r/c
and HM's get 2 r/r/c

Leave me the titles or else I will not do them, and if you leave me a title for another one of my contests, I won't read those either.

Good job everyone. :]

Thank you so much for third place. xD

Could you please do:

o1. A Pen and Some Old Scrap Paper
o2. A Sinner Like Me
o3. Gone With the Sin
o4. Today I Am, Tomorrow I Won't

Thanks!

Thanks for the HM. =]
Please Do:
01. My Give A Damn Busted
02. I Pledge Allegiance to the Noose

Thanks!

xTheEcstasyofSuicidex

01. Britt.

Soul Struggle Within A Blind Truth -- [DONE]
Song and Dance -- [DONE]
Moon Confessions -- [DONE]
Like Dreamers Do -- [DONE]
A Poets Therapy -- [DONE]
Love Me A Little Less -- [DONE]
You're The Voice -- [DONE]
Ghost At Maiden's Peak -- [DONE]

02. Espoir*failed

1.come clarity -- [DONE]
2. attachment to a lovable imagination -- [DONE]
3.today i am tomorrow i won't -- [DONE]
4.the funeral of hearts -- [DONE]
5.mirror mirror -- [DONE]
6.jesus christ superstar -- [DONE]

03. SecludedSerendipity

A Pen and Some Old Scrap Paper -- [DONE]
A Sinner Like Me -- [DONE]
Gone With the Sin -- [DONE]
Today I Am, Tomorrow I Won't -- [DONE]

04. Sheena

How To Succeed in Business Without Really Trying -- [DONE]
Calender Bible -- [DONE]

05. Heavy Hearts Bleed