The only A+ paper ;)

Found this interesting isn't it?

Subject: A Short Story Winner

A college class was told they had to write a short story in as few words as possible. The instructions were that the short story had to contain the following three things:

(1) Religion
(2) Sexuality
(3) Mystery

Below is the only A+ paper in the class.

"Good God, I'm pregnant, I wonder who the father is."

O...m... g.... HAHAHAHAHAHAH

.:Danielle:.

Thats really funny!!! is it true?

Hahahaha.

The following is supposedly an actual question given on a University of Washington chemistry mid-term. The answer by one student was so "profound" that the professor shared it with colleagues, via the Internet, which is, of course, why we now have the pleasure of enjoying it as well.

Bonus Question: Is Hell exothermic (gives off heat) or endothermic (absorbs heat)?

Most of the students wrote proofs of their beliefs using Boyle's Law (gas cools when it expands and heats when it is compressed) or some variant.

One student, however, wrote the following:

First, we need to know how the mass of Hell is changing in time. So we need to know the rate at which souls are moving into Hell and the rate at which they are leaving. I think that we can safely assume that once a soul gets to Hell, it will not leave. Therefore, no souls are leaving.

As for how many souls are entering Hell, let's look at the different Religions that exist in the world today. Most of these religions state that if you are not a member of their religion, you will go to Hell. Since there is more than one of these religions and since people do not belong to more than one religion, we can project that all souls go to Hell.

With birth and death rates as they are, we can expect the number of souls in Hell to increase exponentially. Now, we look at the rate of change of the volume in Hell because Boyle's Law states that in order for the temperature and pressure in Hell to stay the same, the volume of Hell has to expand proportionately as souls are added.

This gives two possibilities:

1. If Hell is expanding at a slower rate than the rate at which souls enter Hell, then the temperature and pressure in Hell will increase until all Hell breaks loose.

2. If Hell is expanding at a rate faster than the increase of souls in Hell, then the temperature and pressure will drop until Hell freezes over.

So which is it?

If we accept the postulate given to me by Teresa during my Freshman year that, "it will be a cold day in Hell before I go out with you", and take into account the fact that I went out with her last night, then number 2 must be true, and thus I am sure that Hell is exothermic and has already frozen over.

The corollary of this theory is that since Hell has frozen over, it follows that it is not accepting any more souls and is therefore, extinct . . . leaving only Heaven, thereby proving the existence of a divine being which explains why, last night, Teresa kept shouting "Oh my God."

THIS STUDENT RECEIVED THE ONLY "A."

^That is to long, sorry I didn't read it, but the original thing was HILARIOUS!

Lmao that first part was great ;)

Lmao.

Haha! Both made me laugh... those were hilarious!

HA ahahahahaha haaaaaaaaaaaa lol sooo funny

Oh, I chuckled at the first joke; I laughed at the second joke by Smarty Pants.

=] Ingenious!

Amazing to see who actually reads or just looks like the length. Too bad intellectual jokes have gone out the window in response to the decrease of the education in the current student population.

^ Nice, Dave.

That was pretty good, I must admit.

I thought they were both pretty funny ;)

Omg
omg
omg
omg
omg
OMG!!!!!
those are hilarious!
i like the first one...
and the second one almost
made me pee my pants!!! lol!

Ha. How amusing your remark was, Smarty Pants. =]

Well thank you very much Marian, I was in an amused mood when I wrote that, not to mention slightly annoyed by that remark of it being "too long"

Lol I like the first one :)

Hahaha! That's amazing!!!

Hilarious

HAHAHAHAHA.

Both of those are SO good! Made me laugh so much.

Both were amazing, i did see the length of the 2nd one but after reading the first paragraph i wa hooked lol.

LOL i read both very funny!

Lmao the first one

Haha that was quite a read. BUT EVERYONE IS STATING HE SAME LAUGH! lmao.

Okay, those two are just too funny .

..__MiNDYY

Wow, those were very funny. I love the exothermic/endothermic Hell one. Wow, Dave!!

Agreable indeed.. both great reads ... loved them ... agreing with the man who is currntly known as *Smarty pants* :P tehe ... nothing is too long .. the comment should just have said how short your attention span is .. but hey we all have our differences xx

The first one was short and funny. I loved it.
the second one... wow. it was long but so funny. Who cares how long it is. Just read it. And if you don't then don't critize it. I thought it was extremely funny.

Well all I had to make sure I didn't damage their poor fragile egos. Besides, technically this site condones personal attacks, so I'll just go through the loopholes set forth by the system to make my point get across. Hence, the label of "Smarty Pants" being given to me.

Omg Dave. Hahaha. That was a good one. I thouroughly enjoyed it. *chuckles to self*

Not only were your remarks hilarious, I liked the joke too.

.:Danielle:.

Thanks Danielle. I try to lighten the mood from time to time to make things nicer and more entertaining for myself and others. Though it isn't really fair cause I pick on people being stupid and everyone knows that there is an abundance of that to draw from.

Dave I read the Hell one and got quite a chuckle out of it... hehe that was a classic right there!! =]

.Ciao.

Great writers indeed

They were both funny, i like the first one though, i've heard it so many times, but it is still funny ever time i hear it, great work at bringing amusement into this.

Amen to that Dave. Amen to that. rotfl

.:Danielle:.

This is really not funny like the others but is also a true story.

A psychology class had one question on their test. Their teacher presented them with a chair and asked his students to convince him that the chair did not exist.

Many of the students sat there for a long time writing long paragraphs on why the chair didn't exist. One student took only a few seconds to write his thoughts and handed his paper over to the teacher.

On the paper it read, "What chair?"

The student received the only A in the class.

Hehe.
:D

Hehe, indeed!

:)

Lolll