Jokes.. =)

Why don't aliens eat clowns.
Because they taste funny.

What do you get when you cross an elephant and a rhino?
el-if-i-no

Once upon a time there were two muffins in the oven. Suddenly, on of the muffins says:
"Man it's hot in here!!!!"
The other muffin exclaims,
"Look a talking muffin!!!!"

A Horse goes into a bar and the bartender says
"Hey buddy, Why the Long Face"

Q. What's pink and fluffy
A. Pink fluff

The fight they had last night was his fault,
his wife asked him what was on TV and he said dust.

Lol.. If you have more you can post it here!! =D

Those are cute. :]

Lol

Here's a drummer joke:

Q: How do you know if a drummer's platform is level?
A: If he's drooling out of BOTH sides of his mouth

(hope you guys get that one, lots of people don't . . )

Yeah, I don't get it.

Lool .. same here =)

I gets ya. Because drummers are known for drooling when they play, and so if the platform is level, the drool will come out both sides! Is that correct?

1.)sardar in a class

A Teacher lecturing on population - In India after
Every 10 sec a woman gives birth to a kid.
A Sardar stands up- we must find & stop her!.

2.) sardar in a race

Sardar-why r all these people running?
Man- This is a race, the winner will get the cup.
Sardar-If only the winner will get the cup, why r
others running?

3)sardar in news

Flash news: A 2 seater plane crashed in a graveyard in punjab .
Local sardars have so far found 500 bodies and are still digging for more..

4) Sardar with servant

Sardar : Go and water the plants.
Servant: it's raining.
Sardar: So what? Take an umbrella and go.

5)sardar with postman

Postman:- I Have To Come 5 Miles To Deliver U This Packet
Sardar:- why did u come so far. Instead u could have posted it....

6)sardar in english class

Teacher: "I killed a person" convert this sentence
into future tense.
Sardar: The future tense is "u will go to jail".

Lol nice haha

Wanna hear some more.... :)

7)Sardar for job interview

Sardar was filling up application form for a job. He was not sure as to what to be filled in column "Salary Expected".
After much thought he wrote: Yes!

8)Sardar at an Art Gallery:

I suppose this horrible looking thing is
what you call modern art ?
Art dealer: I beg your pardon sir, thats a mirror!

9)Sardar while writing

Sardar was writing something very slowly.
Friend asked:" Why r u writing so slowly?
Sardar: "I'm writing to my 6 yr old son, he can't read very fast.

Girl: When we get married, I want to share all your worries, troubles and lighten your burden.
Boy: It's very kind of you, darling, But I don't have any worries or troubles.
Girl: Well that is because we aren't married yet.

Lol!!! This is so funi!! =)

How do you recognize a Sardar in School?
He is the one who erases the notes from the book when the teacher erases the board.

Three patients in a mental institution prepare for an examination given by the head psychiatrist.
If the patients pass the exam, they will be free to leave the hospital. However, if they fail, the institution will detain them for seven years.
The doctor takes the three patients to the top of a diving board overlooking an empty swimming pool, and asks the first patient to jump.
The first patient jumps head first into the pool and breaks both arms.
Then the second patient jumps and breaks both legs.
The third patient looks over the side and refuses to jump.
"Congratulations! You're a free man. Just tell me why didn't you jump?" asked the doctor.
To which the third patient answered, "Well Doc, I can't swim!"

ROFL!!!!! ^ that was so funny!!! Lol!!!!! Lmfao!!!!

Little Johnny's Chemistry teacher wanted to teach his class a lesson about the evils of liquor, so he set up an experiment that involved a glass of water, a glass of whiskey, and two worms.

"Now, class. Observe what happens to the two the worms," said the professor putting the first worm in the glass of water. The worm in the water moved about, twisting and seemingly unharmed.

He then dropped the second worm in the whiskey glass. It writhed in pain for a moment, then quickly sank to the bottom and died. "Now kids, what lesson can we derive from this experiment?" he asked.

Little Johnny raised his hand and wisely responded, "Drink whiskey and you won't get worms!"

:) ..thats...funny too..

here's another one...

As a old man was driving down the freeway, his car phone rang. Answering, he heard his wife's voice urgently warning him, "Herman, I just heard on the news that there's a car going the wrong way on Route 280. Please be careful!".
"It's not just one car," said Herman, "It's hundreds of them!"

Guide: "I welcome you all to Niagara Falls. These are the world's largest waterfalls and the sound intensity of the waterfall is so high, even 20 supersonic planes passing by can't be heard.
Now may I request the ladies to keep quite so that we can hear the Niagara Falls?

Three Feelings:

What's the difference between stress, tension and panic?
Stress is when wife is pregnant, Tension is when girlfriend is pregnant, and Panic is when both are pregnant.

^^ Haha, those are really funny =D

That was good jokes...

Ok here there is some more sardar jokes...

Sardarji goes into a store and sees a shiny object.
He asks the clerk, "What is that shiny object?"
The clerk replies, "That is a Thermos flask."
The Sardar asks, "What does it do?"
The clerk responds, "Keeps hot things hot and cold things cold."
The Sardar says, "I'll take it!"
The next day, he walks into work with his new Thermos.
His Sardar boss sees him and asks, "What is that shiny object with you?"
He said, "It's a Thermos flask."
The boss asks, "What does it do?"
He replies, "Keeps hot things hot and cold things cold."
The boss said, "Wow, what do you have in it?"
The Sardar replies, "Two cups of coffee and a coke."

Sardar ji is buying a TV
"Do you have color TVs?"
"Sure."
"Give me a green one, please."

.............................................................

Sardarji went to the appliance store sale and found a bargain.
"I would like to buy this small TV," he told the salesman.
"Sorry, we don't sell to Sardars," he replied.
He hurried home removed his turban and changed his hair style, and returned
to tell the salesman
"I would like to buy this TV."
"Sorry, we don't sell to Sardars," Salesman replied.
"Damn, he recognised me," he thought.
He went for a complete disguise this time, haircut, new hair colour,
new outfit, big sunglasses, waited a few days, saw the salesman again.
"I would like to buy this TV."
"Sorry, we don't sell to Sardars," he replied.
Frustrated, he exclaimed, "How do you know I'm a Sardar?"
"Because that's a microwave," he replied.

Wow...thanks for the company...

here is another one...hope u all like it...enjoy!!

Son: Mom, when I was on the bus with Dad this morning, he told me to give up my seat to a lady.
Mom: Well, you have done the right thing.
Son: But mum, I was sitting on daddy's lap.

Sardarji is in Delhi. He is walking on a street which has Clock Tower when someone asks him if he wants to buy the clock on the Tower.
Sardarji says "Yes". "Give me a thousand rupees and I'll go get a ladder." The man took the
thousand and disappeared. Having waited for several hours the Sardarji figured he was taken for a ride. On the next day the Sardarji is again walking along the same street and the same man asks him to buy the clock. "Give me a thousand rupees and I'll go get a ladder." The Sardarji gives him the thousand and says "I am not a fool.This
time, you wait and I'll go get a ladder.

Father to son after exam: "let me see your report card."
Son: "My friend just borrowed it. He wants to scare his parents."

A newly married man asked his wife, "Would you have married me if my father hadn't left me a fortune?" "Honey," the woman replied Sweetly,
"I'd have married you NO MATTER WHO LEFT YOU A FORTUNE"

I dont get the last one... =0

Hey...which part u do not understand...

husband's question was.....if she would marry him..if he has nothing...
the wife said to her husband..she will marry him no mater whoever left him a fortune...other than his father

Here is another..one..enjoy..

Teacher: "Can anybody give an example of COINCIDENCE? "
L-Johnny : "Sir, my Mother and Father got married on the sameday
sametime."

1st thief : Oh ! The police is here. Quick! Jump out of the window!
2nd thief : But this is the 13th floor.
1st thief : Hurry! this is no time for superstitions

Lol those are all fantastic!!

Wow..thank u..

They say that when a man holds a woman's hand before marriage, it is love; after marriage it is self-defense

A person who surrenders when he's WRONG, is HONEST.
A person who SURRENDERS when not SURE, is WISE..
A person who surrenders even if he's RIGHT, is a HUSBAND.!

Plan For Future:
Teacher asks children, what do u wish 2 do in future?
Ram: I want 2 b a pilot.
Vinod: I want 2 b a doctor.
Deepa: I want 2 b a good mother.
Ravi: I want 2 help Deepa.

Exams are like GIRL FRIENDS;
1,Too Many Questions.
2,Difficult to Understand.
3,More Explanation is Needed.
4,Result is always FAIL!

Teacher : What do you call a person who keeps on talking when people are no longer interested?
Pupil : A teacher.