That is your best yet!!! loved evey part of it

Well sweetheart...from a pure writing standpoint...you're capable of much more. It's when you find ways to express the actions and emotions withOUT using profanity that your true talent shows best! However...from a creative standpoint...this is quite imaginative and unique! I love the way you laid it out (pun intended) and the storyline is very intriguing :)

GREAT... The day that happens to me...

That was awesome. i love it when people arnt afraid to post that.

Woah.

Lol...

I doent get the last stanaza but the rest is goood.

I loved it i agree with morgan a lil bit but still 5/5 great job :)

It is very good really explict to

You had away of telling every bit from start to finish like a real master of the arts you did it well

Ummmm that was a very good poem but I do not understand it.... 5/5

A little too much for me. Some of it is very good, though. Definitely a talented poet.

I remember i had the same thing haha it was good

Pretty good

Woahhhh... It made me bite my lip :p
Great work :)

Wooooow it was great 5/5

Damn.....that was sointense, I'm all hot and bothered, in the best kind of way...

Literature well used,bravo!

Very literate and hot.
Em

This is so hot! You know your way around! This is fantastic and I commend you for being brave enough to express your creativity!