Comments : Alone

  • 16 years ago

    by MissMeg

    Wow that is so sad, and i know exactly how you feel
    bt keep your chin up girl
    you can make it

  • 16 years ago

    by girlnextdoor

    "I stand in the darkness
    Broken hearted and alone"
    I like how you use a metaphorical darkness.
    I know how you feel, it's wonderful to see them happy, because you love them so much yet at the same moment you hate them so much.
    Beautiful work, I hope so see more poetry from you really soon.

  • 16 years ago

    by BeautifulDisaster

    Gorgeous. Just Gorgeous.

  • 16 years ago

    by Nathanilliam

    Oh sad! it makes me think of my situation right now actually. well written. keep it up.

  • 16 years ago

    by Shadow Heart

    What a great poem.

    Keep the good work up.

    5/5.

  • 16 years ago

    by Amanda

    I know exactly how you feel, I just had my heart broken about 5 days ago, this is a really good poem and I felt for you for every line I read.

  • 16 years ago

    by BlueEyedMystery

    I think it's a little too short. Maybe go into depth a little more? That flow was pretty good, but it just wasn't that original. Try using better descriptive words, a better vocabulary. It'll make the poem a lot more interesting. It is a very relatable poem, though, so good job with that.

    Keep writing!
    Cayce

  • 16 years ago

    by Neme juste un jouet

    I am currently dealing with soemthing like this. My ex is dating my best friend. I like the short simplicity of it. Feelings aren't complictaed. they just are. bravo

  • 16 years ago

    by Courtney

    Beautiful.
    This is very simple, yet it comes across with so much emotion.
    I think most people can relate to this poem, including myself.
    Great job, keep writing.

  • 16 years ago

    by SuicideNotes2Poems

    =,( <---im serious
    i know how your fealing... sept with a girl =P
    keep it up and hang in thear

  • 16 years ago

    by Pink Romance

    Ahahahah! finally something i can say brilliant! i love the rythme and the words. it seemed natural and no signs of struggle. i really liked this one jane you got my full attention again. =]

    10/10

    ahah still short though girl if you wrote more
    you'll be my favorite, not a paragraph but u kno a fair amount put more detail try hitting people were it hurts.

  • 16 years ago

    by Blaketooken

    Great job... You get right to the point. It would be more better if you put more detail... more feelings. That would probably help if it were longer. But it's a great poem. Keep it up. Great job!!

  • 16 years ago

    by Indian Comma Bean

    Nice emotions but it lacks description and depth. With a little more description and some better word choice accompanied by a little mor elength, this poem good go to great lengths of originallity although the subject surely isn't. Overall good write keep it up.

  • 16 years ago

    by Lonely Rider

    Very well written... beautiful description of your emotions...with some better words it would become even more wonderfull..

    a very good write...

  • 16 years ago

    by Italian Stallion

    Ok, nice small write, which is effective sometimes, but this time, it just didn't work for me. There is one big mess clumped together, perhaps breaking it into stanzas would help the overall read as well as the structure of the poem. You have no puncuation at all, which is needed to make the reader understand when to stop or pause. You used way too many I, me, and you's in your poem.

    ``````````

    I stand in the darkness
    Broken hearted and alone
    Watching the both of you from a distance
    Every time you smile at her
    I die a little more
    I want to be happy for you
    But i don't think i can
    The love i have for you wont let me
    So ill stand here by myself
    And dream of what we could have had

    ^^The overall meaning of this poem is there, but could of been a lot more sound. Overall it was a nice little write.

    ``````````

    Nice write, keep up the good work.

    Peace, Joe

  • 16 years ago

    by amandalynn

    Good poem. i'm in a situation kindof like that. in love with someone that's taken. anyways. good poem. 5/5

  • 16 years ago

    by Ash

    Nicely written with such well expressed emotions. It's hard for the reader not to feel your emotions and relive every moment of false happiness when pain is actually the resultand feeling. Overall it's really good. 5/5

  • 16 years ago

    by Aaron Deevers

    Very well written I understand each line and how it feels to be alone. 5/5

  • 16 years ago

    by WiltingWallFlower

    Awesomeness

  • 16 years ago

    by Emily

    This one is my favorite.
    I know that exact feeling, Im feeling it now.
    Really good job.
    Keep it up!