A Disease Of The Mind.

by Hallo A Lilium   May 20, 2009


It takes up residence inside of your petulant brain
The angry indecision that causes you so much pain
Tortured inside from a storm of twister thoughts
Left with terrible aches and always are distraught

Bounded with hatred that you can't yet explain
It take's away the sanity and makes you feel insane
Messages you cannot decipher and or decode
A drive by of words that are the dominant of the minds road

An empty heart that only has room left for black remorse
That numbing agony that makes you double over with its force
Reckless behavior that gets you classified as being mentally unstable
Often told to get control of yourself when you may not even be able

Desperate for solace or at least a peaceful moment for a change
However there are still those puzzle pieces that are in rearrange
All the commentary on how to live or on how to get a grip
Advice is always headed but like humans do we often trip

-: The Words Of An Anxiety Victim. Me Myself & I

*/ Revised.

Copyright (c) 2009 FeignOctober

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Latest Comments

  • 14 years ago

    by Courageous Dreamer

    Great write yet again, your flow is smooth and you have a nice rhythm in all your writes. I thought that at times it seemed like you had 'swallowed a thesaurus' .. do not try to rely on a thesaurus too much when you write, whether you do or not, thats just a tip for writing poetry. I dont have any criticism honestly with this one, you captured this so well, the many feelings of anxiety. One who actually goes through something can put together a truely amazing write cause they know how it feels, you can tell that with this write. It comes together so much better because you as a writer have a greater understanding of the topic.

    Temps. [Beyond a Poets Mind]

  • 14 years ago

    by Princess09

    This is an inciteful piece into ur mind. it holds ur attention and is to the point. u didnt beat around the bush i like that. and the fact the rythem n rhymes are not forced is wonderful!!
    5

  • 14 years ago

    by Momma

    I thought it was a fairly good poem but i think some of the wording of it made the flow a bit off. i also think your rhymes were a bit lazy (i do it too). I also like Rikki's idea of changing a twister of thoughts to twisted thoughts. i also agree with her that you should change the fourth stanza a bit.

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