Parts of the poem came across as cliche to me, like for example sending your heart ablaze and them mending your heart with their sweet ways. But overall a poem we can all relate to wanting that one person to love us. A good job.

A very sweet and well-expressed poem. I felt like this could possibly be elaborated on more, or have more uniquely worded phrases, but it was not overly cliche, just in a few places. I did like the flow and rhyming though, you did well with that. Overall, I really enjoyed reading this new one!

Thanks for the comment on mine!

Take care and God bless you, Child of God.

~MaryAnne

Being tender is essential . but i say from my experience , love is really a time bomb , you need time to cook it or it will explose in your face ..

i like the lento first time i knwo about it !
the expectation of this piece is always more than the words show and this really give me my enough of my mind thrist to knwo more about the feelings inside!

i wish the fingers that touch your heart.. are always kind maya!
we had our more than fair share or rough touch..

peace my friend!

The first verse does not conform to the form, the first words of each line have to rhyme. Adding "ing" just gives a sound, not a rhyme. The second verse does conform.

The message of the poem is communicated very well and the flow is good. Having your love inspire you to "reach for the stars" and teaching you how to do that.

Love it, haha! I'm really into the love poems right now! That was really well written, and I liked the feel of the poem. Great write!

mandy :)

I like how you have made use of this form
with a love poem which portrays passion at
its peak..beautifully done!

Hot to trot as they say really enjoyed this, Lento
it amazes me how much can be put in so few lines another excellent piece Ray S 5/5

These lines just ooze with the desire and sensuality of a passionate love. Ah the pure bliss of loves sweet surrender, to be enjoyed before the chalice becomes poisoned lol.

I hope you and your loved one's have a wonderful Christmas and a peaceful 2010.

John

OOMMGG...your words freeze my blood..and ur emotions dive deep down my heart..u have such a way...
reason why I find ur poetry so unique is..u us simple words rather than too many adjective and still u give the deepest lines!!
like true old poets..

just onething curious did u mean ? ecstasy over (extacy)?
and maybe am wrong but blisfull ...should be blissful.

again..u shine through ur words Ingrid.
hope u write again for ur readers
5/5