Comments : October

  • 6 years ago

    by AJ

    Mel,
    Yet again your writing is beyond phenomenal. Your style of writing, with the pauses and breaks were perfectly placed. this made me think a little more than I usually do when reading poetry. You speak of these months being cold, however I know you are in Australia, where it is going into Summer. So is the chilling referring to something within you?

    Anyway, please keep up the great work.

    5/5 and a Weekly vote.

  • 6 years ago

    by silvershoes

    I would vote for this poem to win the weekly if I didn't already cast my 3 votes.
    Your writing is lithe and fluid and a joy to sift through. It paints a movie of seasons transitioning in a very personal way... good word choices and the structure is tasteful.

  • 6 years ago

    by Poet on the Piano

    This was a mournful piece and I applaud your creativity- the wonderful flow of the the span of three months and the transitions really let your voice move the reader. Some of your words were so mysterious and stood on their own, not ordinary or plain at all. I don't know what else to say, this was extraordinary and deserves much recognition. I hope to read more of your works, please keep writing!

    MaryAnne

    God bless you this Christmas.

  • 6 years ago

    by Jad

    I'm with Britt on this one. This poem completely blew me away. The word choice is very nice and I love how you described everything in this poem. The imagery made everything see-able and it was like many pictures going through our(readers) head. There also was hints of emotions in this poem. The sadness of the coming cold is quite evident and the progression into each month, I thought, was spectacular. Also the flow of the poem was great and it went right along from stanza to stanza, line to line.

    "Illusive the way the sun disappeared"

    This has to be one of my favorite parts. It's just the way you are able to put words into a beautiful creation of imagery is amazing. I found this line creative as well.

    All in all, I found this to be a very unique and creative piece that really brings out the description on the months you were trying to describe. I can see by this that you have a maturity in poetry that is lacking in some poets today. So once again I would just like to say that this was a smooth piece that had wonderful transfer in flow and depth from month to month. Great job and keep writing.

  • 6 years ago

    by Lu

    Mel
    This write definitely deserves "the golden star"
    I couldn't help but read it over and over and over again for from the beginning line you had me hooked.

    songbirds sung of pastel tigers,
    tragic clowns and the thought of you.
    ^^^
    pastel tigers ... absolutely brilliant wording.

    Such a creative, mesmerizing write.

  • 6 years ago

    by Melissa

    Oh Mel, this is so amazingly beautiful, yet painful, obviously. This is definitely one of my faves by you. Sorry, I'm sure it was difficult, and emotional to write, but usually the best poems are spawned from despondency. The tone is perfection, quite touching the way you spoke this to your readers. I have no critique for this piece, only praise. I'll point out my favorite line:

    "The sharpening of a pencil -
    still too cold to speak."

    ^^ I know this feeling. Awesome portrayal. This line really stood out to me. The ending is really great, heartbreaking, but great for a poem.

    This was simply outstanding. I could go on and on, but I'd just be repeating myself. :)

  • 6 years ago

    by Rania Moallem

    MEL.................waw..I think this is MAGIC..Really.
    I love it so much.
    I had no idea you had this talent.
    I bow for each single line you have penned down!
    If this wasn't on the front page next week, im gonna suicide !

    You know with the sad events that you have penned down..each month can be october (a line from one of my poems :P) but seriously each month can be october with the sweet bittereness of your lines.

    the loss you spoke off, the things we gonna miss..the hard moment of gd bye..

    the coldness, the winter,,the gloominess..
    amazing wording Mel.
    in this poem I see a very remarkable poet, who knows exactly what she wants and needs to say,

    Always write the way you just did!
    Gd lluckkk for the W.contest, sure deserves to win!

    5/5

  • 6 years ago

    by Tammie

    Mel; wow. This is simply amazing. I adore the structure, it's so broken up yet so together. That doesn't really make sense, but the way you've written it, it flows yet it seems like it shouldn't. It's clever, as all your poems are. I love the mix of the seasons and emotions, it's imagery and feelings all at the same time. I love that in a poem. I really can't describe how much I love this. You are inspiring.

  • 6 years ago

    by TJ Arizona Eagle

    You are such an amazing poet. I love the abstract formats you use, a great imagination. Your poems are never mundane always hold the readers attention with enjoyment
    Excellent

  • 6 years ago

    by Nicko

    What a magical piece and a beautiful journey you take us on, as I meander down the page month to month, as snippet after snippet is revealed, there are some magical lines "The sharpening of a pencil -
    still too cold to speak" is one of many that spoke to me in this wonderful, creative poem. Living in Australia myself it maybe more poignant to me than most. Yet there seems to be much of a personal journey here.. I loved it.

  • 6 years ago

    by Ingrid de Klerck

    Saying goodbuy is never easy, but we poets know how to do it in style;)

    Well done, good wording and well layed out on the page.

    5/5 Ingrid

  • 6 years ago

    by Poet on the Piano

    Congratulations on the win dearly, this is such an exquisite and expressive piece that does deserve to be read by every eye on here!

    Keep writing!

    MaryAnne

  • 6 years ago

    by Nicko

    Congrats on your win....most deserving.

  • 6 years ago

    by Beautiful Chaos

    Congrats on the win Mel, this was an enjoyable read, I like your word choice and description and the sadness that creeps in with lines like:

    "While my locket sunk
    into the hollow of my chest"

    ^Gives me a picture of a sad girl, maybe slumping, hanging her head.

    Great read.