Melissa, your poetry is like you...amazing. This was a perfect write, nominated the next week....please keep submitting.
5 years ago
This is beautiful. I feel such sadness but such hope when I read all of your poetry. Part of me feels hopeful because the beauty in the write, but pieces of it give me that twinge of sadness that tickles my heartstrings.
I love that ending with the "and you're not here to smooth it". I could picture this being read many ways, one as a child, stamping her foot (lol), the other as a woman, lying alone at night, heartbroken and lonely. Ohh, it got to me good.
I absolutely adore your frantic words flitting like fireflies (nice alliteration without clogging it all up!). The imagery is beautiful and the line was playful to read. I read it with a sense of urgency, almost rushed (which is a good thing considering the words you had here, I thought it fit well).
Your pieces are so small but pack so much. It's funny how I can go from one line to another and it's like you've given me a script with the emotion I should feel and the way I should read it. It just comes naturally when I read your poetry.. you're just that good ;)
It has a melancholy/sad theme but it has this notable upbeat tone in it.
Kirigami, when I think of it, I see pure art, with intricated cuts and folds, justt like this piece, from its upbeat tone, dawdling emotions, punch lines and depth.
I am amused on how you described those fireflies soaring up into the sky like fireworks trying to reach the sky, but moving on to the next stanza, it was just a thought, like fireworks would be enough to brighten the entire sky forever.
"but darling, this exquisite moment
is starting to unfold
and you're not here to smooth it
Don't go, seemed to be just a whisper to herself, since he is not there anymore to smooth it. The ending simply indicates that the author is not yet ready to move on.