by Nevi   Oct 12, 2011

The hazy smoke
that smells of
curling skyward
from the
tip of my match

(21 Syllables, written for The Marathon of Great Clubs)


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Latest Comments

  • 5 years ago

    by Cinnamonspice

    Creative, imaginative, and brilliant. Your words allowed the reader to see the smoke and so real you could swear you smelled sulfur from the match. Excellent


  • 5 years ago

    by Melpomene


    This is another one of yours I was impressed with when I read it for the marathon. Typically it can be hard to say what you need to say when writing within a limit such as a syllable count (hence why my creativity doesn't generally go anywhere past free verse lol!) but with this piece of writing here I felt it was natural, I would of never have guessed that this was written to a guideline.

    Of course here the concept intrigued me, my favorite scent is that of burnt matches and so it was almost as the I could smell it in the atmosphere. The idea you came up with was simple but clever, I'd have never of thought to write a poem on the smoke coming from the tip of a match and yet you managed to get all the important elements in here, you used the senses, "Hazy smoke" with a description of sigh, "The smell of phorsphorescence" for scent and you made it come alive.

    This was another great piece from you. Great work.

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