Comments : Nocturnal

  • 5 years ago

    by Amreen

    I must say,my new year begin with reading your poem and it is just perfect...so original,so good....
    every line is upto the mark and seems as if written by a heart who has gone through some turmoil...
    great flow and I could relate a lot to it....!!

    Clouded by years of memory,
    hazed with final hurtful words,
    fill my brain of mere confusion.
    The more I pretend to not care,
    the level of disbelief rises.

    ^^
    My favorite verse...:)

  • 5 years ago

    by TJ Arizona Eagle

    'Recently practicing a different way,
    a rebirth of my being.
    I sleep away worries in the daylight,
    awake with thoughts of you at night,
    living life nocturnally.

    this maybe my favorite stanza of all time. Your poem was good from the very first line but this tied it in a bow and made the package complete excellent write

  • 5 years ago

    by PinkyPrincess

    Wow... this poem is amazing. I was captivated from the start, and I like the title, as I tend to find it difficult to sleep at night sometimes. I love the first stanza, it was mysterious and different... and engaged because I continued reading. I like how you mention this person was held on a pedestal, but the reader understands throughout the poem that this person has changed.

    I love the final stanza, it was the perfect ending.

    "I sleep away worries in the daylight,
    awake with thoughts of you at night,
    living life nocturnally."
    >> Beautiful words!!!

    Great job! =D

  • 5 years ago

    by Yakari Gabriel

    "You were held on a pedestal.
    Given every ounce of admiration
    I once held in my heart."

    you've touched my heart...
    I don't think you have any idea in how many ways I relate to this write..

    i know what it feels like
    to have someone always there as your rock
    someone you admire beyond words
    someone who is all the things you ever dream you could be..

    it honestly,
    hurts...a lot when we lose someone like that
    its like there is no getting over it..

    its only in those moments that we kinda realize how dependent we had been on someone..and without them we feel a heartache that eats you up..

    you have done a beautiful heartwarming yet heartbreaking job here

    the emotions where very very powerful
    and the pain was obvious..

    I love how stripped back it was,
    the vulnerability..

    I love this piece,
    and I love you..

    Forever coming back to re-read
    its probably one of my fav's from you!

    Chin up,
    GORGEOUS.

  • 5 years ago

    by Poet on the Piano

    I love how the title of the poem ties into this piece- especially with the closing line. Everything was just so raw and heart-wrenching, like...

    "You were held on a pedestal.
    Given every ounce of admiration
    I once held in my heart.
    The rock that stayed strong and firm,
    the prayers I could rely on. "

    You put it plain and simple how he was your stronghold, your founndation, you gave all you had in your soul for him, made room for him. He made you strong and he was your rock- that is like a huge statement, acting as your protector.

    And it leaves my heart hurting with these words that someone who just lifted up you could leave you feeling empty and....I loved how you pinned this "restless"- that just gives so much lonely imagery.

    And the last stanza was so well-thought out. Like during the day, during the time of the light, you sleep against all of it, but something has changed inside you- you're now living a different way not just without what you used to have but living in the dark.....where you're still pondering him, realizing how much he was a part of you.

    Excellent, powerful write. Don't be down.....hope will find a way to you :)
    MaryAnne

  • 5 years ago

    by Ruby Red Memories

    Chelsey,

    This poem is so sad. It is really deep and you can tell alot of emotion went into this piece.

    I also loved the title of your poem. You use of a snigle word is eye catching and really spoke to me

    5/5

  • 5 years ago

    by L

    Nocturnal!

    That word caught my attention. It intrigued me so much.
    I like the content of this piece and I also find it sad. The only thing that I notice is that there are a few parts that don't go with the flow. Other than that it was a piece filled with emotions.

  • 5 years ago

    by Jenni

    I really like the title because it already creates an atmosphere by standing alone, which gives the reader a little hint about what to expect, yet it doesn't give anything away and that made it so very eye-catching. I think it's tough finding a title, that is interesting and fits to the poem, without revealing too much, your choice definately fullfills these "criteria".

    It's quite nice how the content of your poem "developes" with each stanza, you slowly allow the reader to get to know what's happening to the speaker and the reason for that, but you first mention the consequences in the last stanza, which keeps the reader captivated throughout the poem.

    The last stanza is my personal favorite as well because of how you worded it and because of how much it tells.

    This is definately a well penned poem with heartfelt emotions.

  • 5 years ago

    by average thoughts

    U know what d bst thing abt ur poems?
    The more i read, the more depth i find ..uor poems r like an endles depth of emotions..
    Ful points

  • 5 years ago

    by Paul Gondwe

    Recently practicing a different way,
    a rebirth of my being.
    I sleep away worries in the daylight,
    awake with thoughts of you at night,
    living life nocturnally.

    this was my fav stanza. This is an interesting piece full of deep emotions, i really loved it.

  • 5 years ago

    by Lofallenve

    This so sad :( your words are beautiful. Ive felt like this before. You've penned this piece perfectlly.

  • 5 years ago

    by Fsams

    It is a great read. Loved reading it. Mournfully and beautifully expressed how ur life has been changed to 'Nocturnal' . I love the flow and thought it was perfect :D

  • 5 years ago

    by TSI25

    I love the end, "living life nocturnally". it has a lot of meaning in that one part, not only that you stay awake in the night, but also that its a secret, hidden life, and a life shrouded in darkness. it is truly a powerful image, which complements the underlying emotions. well done.

  • 2 months ago

    by mossgirl19

    I love how you have expressed the changes this person has made in your life...the ending is fantastic...the whole poem is a great read. Well done.