Comments : If Only I Had Known

  • 5 years ago

    by Dagmar Wilson

    Very sad, leaving us behind questioning
    ourselves" why" didn't we do this or that

  • 5 years ago

    by L

    You know,

    This poem is heartbreaking, I was not expecting it to make me cry. I was reading the first stanza and everything was good with the aroma of the flowers and the picture it created within my mind, but as I kept on reading it. The tears started to come. I can relate to this poem and not exactly for a "dad" part but the emotion that goes through each word and the way is accommodated makes me relate even more with the title of the poem. If only I had known. "I would have use my last words to say good bye..." Those are the words that make this poem more heartbreaking in my opinion.

    Well written.

  • 5 years ago

    by Wicked Ways

    Your laughter still lingers
    in the air like a springtime
    breeze across an overflowing
    field of white gardenia's.

    aweeome first lines, and i liked the use of amora in the second stanza, this poem is deeply pained, and it is heart breaking. . .. it actually made me feel a lil sad, but it was a good write, excellent...

    5/5

  • 5 years ago

    by Xanthe

    I think this is the only poem on this site that has moved me to tears. I'm so sorry about your father, but this piece reminded me of my own... I can't say anything more. This is just breath-taking for its sadness. Thanks so much for writing it and sharing it with us. Definitely going to my favorites. Keep writing
    -X

  • 5 years ago

    by Maple Tree

    Liz- Breathtaking!

  • 5 years ago

    by Chelsey

    Oh my goodness this is heartbreakingly sad Liz....so hard to comment on the poem and not the situation , but I'm going to avoid the sadness in the poem and tell you,

    If only I had known
    that your last gasp
    was imminent, I
    would have used
    mine to tell you
    goodbye.

    ^ Loved that....regret absolutely sucks but that was beautifully written.

    p.s I love how you used white gardenias in the opening stanza....such peaceful imagery. :)

  • 5 years ago

    by Tara Kay

    Liz,
    The sadness here was evident, losing someone close to us is always hard, the imagery you used here was so peaceful but the tone of regret was evident with that...

    You did a fantastic job bringing your sadness into the piece, but touching on something close to many of us...the loss of a parent

    xxxx

  • 5 years ago

    by A lonely soul

    A touching tribute to a loved one. Your pen has an amazing power to pen emotions. Sad, reflective, loving and brilliantly penned.

  • 5 years ago

    by nourayasmine

    Ohhhhh. How sad!
    This just broke my heart, Liz, I'm so overwhelmed. Truly captivating.

    'as though you
    never left,

    but you did.'
    ^

    It's like you don't want to believe that fact that he is gone and you cannot do anything about it but accept the truth. So bitter and so heartbreaking. I'm truly sorry for your loss. </3

    Be strong and remember those beautiful days you spent together. Awesome poetry.

  • 5 years ago

    by Paul Gondwe

    And i wonder why i hadnt seen this sooner..

    Your laughter still lingers
    in the air like a springtime
    breeze across an overflowing
    field of white gardenia's...

    Just reading this introduction, i knew it was an opened door to an amazing piece and i was right. This is very emotional and very sad. The way you use your words in this piece is remarkable and am sorry this had to happen but take heed that he is in a better place. Its sad losing someone so dear to us and really hurts the most if you never had the chance to say bye. 5

  • 5 years ago

    by Hannah Lizette

    Very emotional. :(
    so heartbreaking, it's so hard to lose a loved one.
    great poem.

  • 5 years ago

    by TJ Arizona Eagle

    A poem of perfection. Words wisely chosen, laced in emotion. Excellent

  • 5 years ago

    by Meme

    Liz, you never fail to deliever the emotions of your piece to the reader.

    Fantastic !!

  • 5 years ago

    by Maple Tree

    What a powerful piece this is...the author captures our hearts with this tear jerking piece- I do love the simplistic and elegant style of this author. She takes the raw and deeply emotional subject of her father's passing and paints of a touching portrait of her heartfelt memories... The beautiful imagery starts this piece off with such beauty - I love her ways of expressing and talking about her father. The title is one that grabs me the most and sums up this piece to a tee... If only I had known.... It's a question that I have had within my thoughts many a time...the ending is one that left me speechless.... Touching write- Well Done Lioness

  • 5 years ago

    by Britt

    Comment from judging:

    Liz this poem has me in tears. The heartbreak and pain is so raw and alive here that it's hard to not be automatically pulled into the emotional aspect of this piece. There are so many times we lose people and wish we could say things we left unsaid, only to agonize about them later. Trust that this person knows your feelings, knows you care, and give yourself the allowance to say goodbye in your own way now. This one definitely tugged at my heart.