Comments : I Want

  • 6 years ago

    by Yakari Gabriel


  • 6 years ago

    by nourayasmine

    Someday, I want to hear my name in the wind,
    and find the one who put it there.



  • 6 years ago

    by nourayasmine


    You know that I love this. I love the play on words, it seemed so smart. Such as those 'wander/wonder' and 'skeddadle/squirm' phrases that left in awe. I can relate to your write (or in other words, to what I've got from it.) I, too, want to grow up and live my life to its fullest. I, too, want to have a delightful history.

    'Someday, I want to hear my name in the wind,
    and find the one who put it there.'

    This is one of the simpliest yet most beautiful line I've read in a while. So poetical! The first time I read it, before reaching the next line, I was like 'err, he wants his name to be scattered in the wind?' but when I happened to discover that there is another line, haha, I was left speechless!

    'I want to watch the sun rise
    and set.'

    A very nice symbolism! But shouldn't 'rise' and 'set' be 'rising and setting'? Like I want to catch the sun rising. Not to catch the sun rise. Blegh, I am sleepy right now, too sleepy actually, it's 5 am and I'm drinking red wine (want some? :P) so cannot focus! I might be wrong, never mind me.

    I loved this write by you, Nevi! Another one, another one!

    Pssst, what happened with that damn challenge? ;P

  • 6 years ago

    by Blissful

    I want to tell you this is one of my favorites from you. Flawless.

  • 6 years ago

    by Melpomene


    I have to agree with what everyone stated above, this is one of your strongest pieces so far. I usually tell you it's your short pieces that pack a punch for me but this one was definitely powerful and a longer poem!

    "Someday, I want to hear my name in the wind,
    and find the one who put it there."

    This was lovely, some romance in it. It's obvious romance is an important part of who you want to be, growing old with someone, finding a match. You depicted that part of you perfect here in an elegant way.

    The play on words was something new from you, something bold and I was really fond of how you executed it.

    Usually I'm not fond of a lot of "I" I use it myself haha but I dislike sentences being started with the "I" over and over but I didn't actually notice this until the end. Until I decided to write a comment.

    I loved the use of the word anchored and also tread amongst constellations. Clever.

    Well done!

    P.S, why no full stop at the end?

    • 6 years ago

      by Nevi

      Hahahah. I hadn't really even noticed that until you commented, and I've spent some time coming back to that and thinking about it. I could've gone back to fix it at any time. But I think I'll leave it like it is. I'm not done living yet, and that's what this poem is about. I think it has some nice unintentional symbolism for me now.

      But thanks for bringing it up! :D without you, I may have missed an entire soul searchy journey