Believe it or not, I read the 1st stanza and jumped down to the vote button.
I'm sorry I'm not commenting well because your abstractness does not need comments. only reading... and sinking...
You always talk about love in your own special ways. I am really sick of 'love poems' sooooooooo much. One more love song, and I'll be sick (from a song I forgot what is its name..). But YOUR way of talking about love is so special. 'Ginger' was a special touch, 'salt' was somewhat funny because of the contrast between it and 'talking about love'... 'elks' also.... The 1st stanza as I said before was perfectly penned. I wasn't too keen on the ending, I don't know why, I feel it sounds odd, but it's just your beautiful touch. Well-done, sugar.
5 years ago
by Tara Kay
I have always loved your abstractness and although I often find myself lost in it all, I find it enchanting and interesting...this piece is just that...I am going to try and interpret it the way it reads to me...
we were selfless, innocent -
we were children who still believed in ginger
tea parties and we held love with both palms
as if it was a pair of glinting cups;
we drank it before each midnight then rested
with pollens trifling in our nostrils.
^^^The first two lines, I kind of guessed it meant childhood and then you immediately confirmed it...I love Ginger Tea so I smiled at this little addition, and the imagery of two young girls, (I see you and your sister) sitting in the garden drinking from these little cups with flowers around them, it's so beautiful.
Perhaps, we were more of two
random elks running forever along a nameless
wood, a todos lados, and then in a guava-scented
morning, you'd known I was meant
to be sculptured amidst your hoof.
^^Okay, Abstractness overload but still enchanting and it just feels so effortlessly written...the addition of Elks, such elegant and beautiful animals are deer, this was really country and I like that. I had to look up "Todos Lados" and I then saw these deer galloping in the wild...with the smell of Guava in the air, such a sweet scent to me. I wonder what being Elks is a symbol of...intriguing.
our colors were the wake of naked poetry,
and the arousal of turbulent liquors; we were
a miracle; the pungent strikes of lightning,
a tulips-dressed dream in the 7th of September -
when I first made love to your voice, when
you first saw petrels in
^^^I take it that the 7th is a special date and to add this makes it feel special and personal to you...Tulips-dressed dream...WOW. This stanza was like such beauty that I found myself feel all warm and comforted, especially with the whole petrels idea, these birds are such elegance...what with there connection to sea and waves.
Yet time resurrected us into a
life of rusty tinplates, we sat with salt
in our mouths and talked of love.
We smirked, lurked for the daylight and
killed it, then
slept to the sounds of an illusive
^^^^That sadness was so evident, it felt like there was something really important about the use of tinplates but I am at a loss to what it means...you are just such an amazing writer, that I know there is more than meets the eye in this stanza.
I guess when we died in each
other, death cringed.
We just died.
^^^I love the repetition of "Died", it just confirmed it, as if you were trying to make it sound better than it does....maybe
And forgot how
we once perfected
each other like pressed lineaments in the skin
of a withered face.
^^^You always end your poems with a statement that leaves me pondering further, like I can never forget it once its finished, age does many things to the skin but the perfection we see in our loved ones is always there, it tells a story, it makes age beautiful.
Noura, I am still just amazed at your writing, to the point where everytime I see a poem from you, I find myself thinking "Let me clear my head because this is going to fill up every little inch of my brain trying to comprehend the greatness"
So beautiful, your words create the magical sense of being in the story,I feel the pain in the end, both in the sense of your poems powerful emotive quality, and because I've lost a love as well, we too simply died, forgetting all the wonderful notions of love, though I'm glad to say we have been reconciled to one another though no more than friends.