Comments : Mother

  • 3 years ago

    by Yakari Gabriel

    <3<3<3

  • 3 years ago

    by Baby Rainbow

    Oh how special. What a touching little story you have told us. I think this poem is so honest because we know sometimes that we have to do something, or let go of something and move on, and even though we know this, we struggle to put it into place.

    I love the tone of the poem, and how you show us the bond between mother and daughter. Your opening line of a mother's worry and wants for her child, and how you can pick up that she doesn't want you to make the same mistakes that she made with her life, you portrayed this so well with "cracking voice"

    I also like how you have a time change scene, from being her tiny little girl, on that swing, a very simple time and memory, and jump forward to now, where it is more complex and life has really started to begin now.

    So well put together, and I like the cliff hanger ending because I think it not only fits with the poem, in the sense that you do not know your way forward yet, but it also relates to life, in that sometimes things don't have a concrete ending as of yet, and we have to wait to find out where we end up, or where the story goes.

    Brilliant write, I enjoyed this. I think a lot of mother's would love to read this poem, and agree to what you have described.

  • 3 years ago

    by Rania Moallem

    Wow Jane..that is so touchy.
    Being someone who is influenced by mothers and my own mom precisely, this has spoke to me on many different levels.

    Well writttten...well written

  • 3 years ago

    by Em

    Wow, this is very good piece. Written beautifully. 5/5

  • 3 years ago

    by Cheeseburger

    I think this is a great poem and reminds me of how quickly life is going by with my daughter. It shows me what she'll one day probably think, and experience, and makes me hope I'll be there for her!

  • 2 years ago

    by Meena Krish

    A mother and daughter bond so movingly expressed with all the emotions attached to it. Two lives thinking and saying much without saying in just their actions and tears...a lovely piece.

  • 2 years ago

    by Ben Pickard

    This piece moved me, thoroughly. I have children of my own and the end left a lump in my throat! Beautifully written, too.
    All the very best,
    Ben