I look in the mirror, looking for something, not knowing exactly what I'm looking for but physically feeling the pain of what I dont see through the eyes of the person staring back at me.
I am looking and looking but nothing sticks out to me.
I see the same old ugly me that I've seen for nearly 18 years.
I see the same tear stained face and the same irritatingly small ears that don't fit my head and the same big eyes and bucked teeth that have followed me since I could speak.
When I look at myself in the mirror, I'm looking for something that I myself can call "pretty." I cant find anything about me that in the eyes of my city that I can call "pretty." My eyes, skin color, lips, and face betrays me, making me face the mirror and look at the real me, the ugly me, the me that not even myself likes or want to be.
Yes I said I don't want to be "me" because I believe that I am not pretty.
I may be pretty in the eyes of my family but not to me; I am nowhere near the word pretty.
Looking at myself in the mirror I just want to shatter it because I feel like it should break just by the look of my face. I want to shatter it into sharp pieces of broken glass because in the eyes of many I'm not in the "pretty class." I want to take those pieces of glass and stab it into me because maybe then I will become pretty, because to me, my face is what betrays me.
My teeth, nose, eyes, cheeks don't seem to fit me, therefore making me ugly.
Making me feel unworthy to be in a world filled with beauty, all because in my eyes beauty is NOT what I see when I look in the mirror and the waters of the sea.