It's really crazy how poetry differs from one pen and the other. This was absolutely a great piece to read. I am pleased to be reading your poem.
This form was absolutely a joy! Language wise, grammar wise, coherence, structure, it's a very strong piece! Sometimes I can be really in love with a certain poem, but it's not that easy to have a very well structured poem that impresses you both in literature and in the basics of the language it's written in!
I was opening my eyes really wide and smiling to each sentence rhyming so naturally to the line before!
I also shook my head in admiration twice by your descriptions of the beloved! There is no heaven like that you induce ? there is a 100 way to say that sentence but you chose the most creative !
I'm addying this to my favorite reads and I really advice you to keep going for this style, you have a strong hold on it!