Comments : I still pay... (Trochee)

  • 2 years ago

    by Mahal Ko Kuya Ko

    This is sorrowful ): When we lost something that we love more than ourselves, we will still cry for it, no matter how much time passes. Beautifully penned and nice form, as always, Ms. Meena (:

    --- MKKK

  • 2 years ago

    by alka mendiratta

    This sad poem reflects the poetess is not able to let go the loss of a loved one and her life is soaked in sorrow and pain .A painful write so well expressed in a beautiful form .

  • 2 years ago

    by GB

    The poem is beautifully melancholic, and you master this special format very well, Meena.

  • 2 years ago

    by Ray Blue

    ~Hurt sown for each tomorrow. Striking line and I can relate. Another great work, Meena!

    Cheers,
    Ray

  • 2 years ago

    by Larry Chamberlin

    Pain that throbs like a toothache, excruciating and yet numbness is impossible.
    "hurt sown for each tomorrow
    awakes to come play"
    Not even sleep allows forgetfulness.

    You have captured the reality of loss in a structured poem so elegantly that I feel the deepest sorrow for you.

  • 2 years ago

    by Timothy

    I see you still work to make your poems into proper form. Congrats to you for such wonderful and dedicated work!

  • 1 year ago

    by Em

    Meena this is a very emotional write and I can tell it slipped of your own without much help because when we have an emotion and a talent like yours that's what happens.

    Each sleep is filled with sorrow
    loss won't go away,
    ifs, buts and maybes remain
    with tears I still pay;
    ^^
    A beautifully penned opening and I can see how hurt this loss has made you. It grips at your every being because even when/or if you sleep that loss is still there at the back of your mind. You probably sleep so the pain goes away but upon waking it returns like any heartache.

    Hurt sown for each tomorrow
    awakes to come play,
    your absence feeds me with pain
    in which my heart lays.
    ^^
    This reflects on the fact you are unable to let go of that loss. Grief is a horrible thing but death comes to us all.

    You capture loss so elegantly.

    Em

  • 6 months ago

    by Naughtymouse

    I love how you wrote this....SO MUCH emotion in so few lines, Bravo Meena this is awesome!

    Ben

  • 6 months ago

    by Brenda

    Meena, what a neat write ! A really cool form I have never heard of, very interesting. Well done-