For The Weak

by Christy   Nov 26, 2015

I'm sorry for the obligations constipating every laugh I tried to push out.
I'm sorry for the times I couldn't fake the smiles because living had me dying,
Living had me lying, it made me fake trying, living just stressed me out.
I can't forget to say that I'm sorry for occupying my time with broken out faces,
Up and down weights and all the crying faces, burden down hearts, and such slow paces...
I'm sorry that I've been trying to trace and forget all the happy places.
Memories had me so locked out, knocked out, so down and outdated.
I'm sorry for complaining. I'm sorry for the times my heart forgot to beat on pace and...
I'm sorry for the occupation of work and lost time, unrequited love and being so sublime.
I'm sorry that I am such a contradiction. I'm sorry that I can laugh when I cry,
Live although every day my heart dies... I'm sorry that I'm complacent.
I'm sorry that I'm wasting... Away. Sorry but not sorry that I've always been this way.
Sorry that I'm racing to a finish line that is unseen yet contagious 'cause we all have that drive.
That drive to see our lost loved ones faces in such a happy place and maybe I'm just faking.
Again, with the complaining, you see, I'm a little tired of wasting my time with work and...
An unhappy life. Damn, when can we finish this ridiculous life of races and strange places?
I'm sorry that I've been thinking. Thinking about what happens when this is all over...
And wondering if what I'm doing here is worth the trouble... Is it worth being sober?
Sorry that you thought that I was weak and not strong to do a job that men have some say over.
Sorry that I may be better than you at what you do. Sorry but not sorry, that I am stronger.
Sorry that I have to bite my tongue every time I want to stand up for me...
Sorry that I am such a pushover. Sorry that I'm older and wiser and a lover...
A lover who loves with everything in me except my lover is gone and I can't find another.
Sorry that I'm easily aggravated and irritated that I have to do things that I don't want to do.
I'm sorry that sometimes I just don't care, sorry that I just can't be energetic like you.
I'm sorry that I'm trying but if trying makes me weak, incompetent then maybe for the weak,
We are all unresponsive, lost and dead to our situations... Maybe we are all just those obligations...
Constipating the life, we try to live and the laughs we try so desperately to push out.


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