This really is a special piece of poetry, I feel. The sadness that filled me while reading this was immense, made all the more acute by the constant questions you pose and seem destined to never have the answers for.
I found the third stanza particularly moving and in the fourth, the blame that this person clearly assigns himself clear. Sometimes people do seem to slip down a dark path and no one sees it until it is too late - all the harder to take when you realise in retrospect that you, above all people, should have done.
Nominated - this deserves the front page, in my opinion.
Larry, I had to read this a few times. The sheer emotion in this pulls at my heart, and I feel your connection this person so strongly. What it made me think of is that you are there, giving your heart and full support, and this person knows it yet they cannot reciprocate. Or cannot see it. It's like some kind of darkness or their own personal demons have not just entered their lives, but are controlling their ability to lean on others for strength and see a way through. Honestly, it made me think of depression's hold on a person. It's incredibly heartbreaking how a person can have so many resources, so much outpouring of love, yet that person still doubts it and is unable to fully grasp on again.
Very good friends of mine here in Australia lost their 24 year old son to suicide 10 years ago and, although they knew he was sick and he was getting the appropriate treatment, it was a great shock to all of us when he took his own life. We all thought, after one year of medical care, that he was on the mend and yet, one day he just decided to end his life and leave us all with a void that will never be filled. Not sure if this is about suicide but..it really pulled at my heart strings and...obviously I can relate to your words...
Depression can be controlling. It's As if depression sits a person in the middle of a room and allows it to see everything that happens in and outside that room but doesn't allow that person to "act" or interact with anyone. Pretty much depression lets the individual to starve of life until ...(if one doesn't do anything)... the end.
Writing helps. Talking about how one feels wether what one feels is appropriate according to situations or not, can help.
Sometimes parents are there for their children and the children know it but somehow the children want to do it own their own. At the same time, the children may not want to give unnecessary stress to their parents or worry them or they might fear to get yelled at or be scolded, or judged, or laughed at... As a result, they don't reach out for help.
The same goes for brothers, sisters, or family members or friends.
So parents, friends, family members need to constantly be reaching out and trying to be as understanding as possible.
^^ the above is what came to mind when I read your poem. Your piece is filled with sadness and a bit of frustration.
This is like a plaque which has consumed numerous lives and no matter how much we try to reach out to help, that person must be able to see it, willing to take that help but there are those moments that person cannot just reach out or feels like a failure if he/she does so...your pained voice is felt within this read...take care.
This piece is very touching Sir Larry, and I can relate very much to the place inside the poem. People get themselves into such darkness, that no matter how much light is offered to them, or love, they just cannot feel it or see it, it feels impossible to reach out for anything, no matter how close it may appear to be.
Your questions throughout the poem are so innocent, they don't seem filled with anger towards anyone, more guilty that you could not stop pain from growing.
I do think the term depression is often over-used, but then in real cases of it, I do believe it is unfortunately under-appreciated. It is not simple to explain it, nor escape it, hence, so many tragic stories like the one we read in your work here.
Thank you for writing and sharing this piece.
Very touching work, bringing reality to life.
Larry, I had a friend who committed suicide at the end of high school. Her family headed to a townfair together, but she chose to stay home. When they returned, she had hanged herself. This was more than a decade ago. Your poem brings all of the memories and feelings back, and it reminds me of the endless suffering I know her dad still deals with everyday.
Heartbreakingly sad. Beautiful writing. I am so sorry if this poem is about someone in particular.