WHEN THE MIND HALTS

by mnemosyne   Mar 9, 2016


,

folding over itself
like an origami crane,
we travel backwards
on the wings
of a songless bird,
carrying with us
the hope of resurgence,
an ember of memory,
until suddenly -
breath releases
in a whispered curse
and we drop from the sky
like heavy rain,
landing in a glass
on a table
in a room
where once we knew
what it was to ...

light refracts
in a glass half empty.

time moves on,
parched and eager.

9 MARCH 2016 RRL*

3


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Latest Comments

  • 1 year ago

    by Saerelune

    Another old comment for you ;)

    "This poem seems like a more abstract one, with phrases such as "travel backwards on the wings of a songless bird", "hope of resurgence", "an ember of memory" or "a whispered curse". I think these are the less effective part of the poem as they seem a bit too vague, though they do manage to set the right dreamy mood. Good thing is that concrete images are pulled in to balance the abstractness again, which resulted in a nice mix of "showing and telling" in poetry. It's a snap-back to reality kinda feel which I think was effectively composed. I like the intense focus on the glass, on a table, in a room, which truly brings forth the whole idea of the poem: when the mind halts. Last but not least, I loved the clever choice of verbs in the last stanza, "parched" being well-suited to be reminded of the origami crane in the beginning again. Well-crafted piece of work!"

  • 1 year ago

    by Brenda

    I absolutely love the imagery, beautiful.

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