Mommies To Be

by Christy   Mar 11, 2016

So were they really sincere when they said, "You can be anything you want to be"?
Or was all of that just a saying because they knew life couldn't work out perfectly?
And that dreams are only that and the only times you see yourself worthy is in your sleep.
But what if I said I wanted to be famous just to make a cozy and comfortable living
Because being a teacher isn't what makes me happy. Anymore. There's no money.
And what if I wanted to give birth to 4 kids but the doctors are constantly telling me -
I can't be a mommy. Now that leaves me with an unhappy man who leaves...
And here I am, sorry for my infertility and let's not forget, I'm lonely. Not what I wanted to be.
I hear you saying already that if he really loves me then he would stay and support me
But his wants are to be a daddy... Remember? We can be anything we want to be?
My dreams consist of being an author, a producer, a director but here you are telling me
That teaching is the only thing in the cards for me because that's the earned degree...
But I am talented, gifted; I've been granted with hands that sculpt and write -
I thought I could be anything... I love construction. Building makes me happy...
But I am a lady and I should act accordingly. I guess it was forgotten all that was said to me.
I think what's killing me the worst is my inability to conceive and I'm asked to be grateful -
For babies that aren't mine. Babies that I can't hold forever. Grateful for not being a mommy.
Time stops and the world seems to be spinning and moving on without me.
So were you actually earnest when you said, "Baby, strive for all your dreams"?
Because the only thing I ever wanted to be is someone who's called, "Mommy."


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