Comments : Before I murdered Innocence.

  • 1 year ago

    by deeplydesturbed

    WOW! Very descriptive.
    It really painted a picture in my mind..
    Well done.

    deeplydesturbed xx

  • 1 year ago

    by Trampled Angel

    There was something very drawing about how you used point of view in this writing.You began the poem with "we", asking me to recall where and when I have found myself in this situation you are painting, a universal and personal human experience. Then you move a step closer into your own world in this mixed monologue that responds to your own thoughts and to words of others. Then, after baring our soul of your personal experience, you bring it back to the "we" again, tying your experience with mine, because you are writing of things we all do.

    Sorry, that was wordy. What I mean to say is that, through your use of perspective in this writing, you told your story as a piece of a bigger story and pattern where you call me to put myself in the place where I fit.

  • 1 year ago

    by Britt

    I've read this twice now and I keep thinking about the woman at the well.. I don't really know how else to apply your message to hers, but you know the story, so I'm sure you can see my correlation.

    You may not let other people into all those creepy, dark, cob-webbed spaces of your heart, but there is only one person who can truly transform that brokenness. Release these pieces of your heart to Him, sweet MaryAnne. <3

    I relate to this so much more than you know. Always here if you need someone to relate to. <3

  • 1 year ago

    by Britt

    Love you!

  • 1 year ago

    by Em

    A very vivid image you paint here.

    Everyone of us as guilt for some reason or other.

    Take care, Em

  • 1 year ago

    by Darren

    Judges comment

    Okay let's get the elephant out of the room, grab a banjo and smack it around the rear.
    This is not a poem in the poetical sense.
    In fact it is a diary entry, a piece of prose.
    It could pass for a slam poem with a little bit of editing, yet it risks losing some of the fuel if messed about with. I have been harsh some weeks, yet I am actually bored tonight. Form after form after another form...
    I wanted something different yet I have been presented the same gifts just re-wrapped and re-worded.
    A circle of nominations that is turning the weekly into a closed shop.
    I was tempted to step down as a judge tonight. Purely because I am not sure whether or not I am truly impartial in my choices. Not that I am picking the same people...more I am avoiding to try and help the weekly have more variety of winners.
    Now to this piece, I have given it 10 points because of the bravery of the author, I feel that she has given us all an insight into her mind and her feelings. She has shared with us some pain. Poetry should strike a chord, simply put this has.
    It is also as far from a form that you could find. 10 points