Comments : Descent to Nowhen

  • 1 year ago

    by Ben Pickard

    Hating that king-size
    torture slab of cotton
    and memory foam
    that gives no comfort.

    like an octogenarian
    denying himself potential.

    ^^

    This poem is wonderful, Larry. These two parts stood out specifically.

    All the best,

    Ben

  • 1 year ago

    by Em

    Larry this is an emotion filled piece.
    It always feels lonely when left but things get better though I am not sure this is literal, I hope not.
    The imagery as always is perfect and I could picture being there.

    All the best, Em

  • 1 year ago

    by Brenda

    Larry, such a sad poem, beautifully done though. You really did a wonderful job of yearning and loss. I hope this isn't literal-take care-

  • 1 year ago

    by silvershoes

    Hauntingly beautiful and melancholy. Pensive. I finished reading this poem and immediately read through it again, then thought about it for awhile. I don't have much to say. I wouldn't change a word. This is gorgeous, revealing, personal, relatable, just a stunning poem. Adding it to my favorites. I like the title too.

  • 1 year ago

    by Milly Hayward

    Loved it... An emotional and visual piece of brilliance Milly x

  • 1 year ago

    by Poet on the Piano

    I swear, you and Jane lately with those ending lines. I feel a longing in my soul with both of your poems...

    the images you gave, the atmosphere, the ghosts, the false realities... it all weighs and seems to distort what's real.

    Such an emotional write as well. Wow, will definitely read through many more times I am sure.

  • 1 year ago

    by Em

    Huge congratulations

  • 1 year ago

    by Ben Pickard

    Wonderful poem and deserved win, Larry. Well done.

  • 1 year ago

    by silvershoes

    Had to reread this after reading the judges' comments. I disagree that there should be further connection between the memory foam mattress and memories, as I think incorporating "memory foam" was an intentional play on words/dual meaning on its own. Much of the poem is reflective and subtle. I would not add or take away anything.
    Congrats on a well deserved front page win. I love this poem. I have you to thank for 'How to calm the sea' because this is the poem that inspired me to write it.

    • 1 year ago

      by Larry Chamberlin

      Wow, I've never had a higher compliment!

      You also got my intention on memory foam.

      Thank you!

  • 1 year ago

    by Meena Krish

    So I came here to give a very lengthy comment and spill out some of my very own version of this heart tugging write; but as I read the comments above..I feel I will do it injustice.

    I just like the imagery especially from the second stanza on wards.

    Two in the morning
    drinking decaf again;
    hating that king-size
    torture slab of cotton
    and memory foam
    that gives no comfort.

    ^^I like this. Not only memories that is imprinted in the bed but in your mind too. Its those memories which is keeping you awake in the wee hours of the morning...missing that person who used to occupy that space.

    When you are not here
    guarding my present,
    ghosts stream by the bed
    from pasts that like as not
    never really were.

    ^^Seems like this person has given you the greatest gift living in the present which make you forget the past. The moment or the day she is not there the past grabs you. There is much more in this bed of memories!

    I find sight tunnel-visioned
    and firmly ensconced
    at the rear view mirror:

    "Warning, things may appear
    closer to reality than they were."

    ^^I like this part its like the ghosts of the past are catching up with you as you are driving fast...scary yet very symbolic too.

    Congrats on the Win!!