Lost Girl (Form - Senryu)

by Augustus Black   Oct 29, 2016

First -

Newspaper : Girl lost.
Police fail to find her; stink
smell from water tank.

Second -

Newspaper : Girl lost.
Building people take water
They see hairs in it.

- Augustus Black
Date - 25th October 2016


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Latest Comments

  • 2 years ago

    by - Mr. Darcy


    a topical poem. These short forms are powerful, especially when there is a 'turn' in the last section. This delivers an emotional blow to the reader and allows them pause for thought.

    Well done, this form is not as easy as they look.

    Take care,


  • 2 years ago

    by Ben Pickard


    This really is a wonderfully dark senryu double - very clever. And the fact that these things have happened makes it that much harder to read.

    Well done on this,


  • 2 years ago

    by hiraeth

    There was something similar that happened here in Canada, a girl was found in the water tank, and the case is still going on, there was video footage of her in the elevator going up to the roof I believe, and it was odd. It's terrible that a life was lost.

    • 2 years ago

      by Augustus Black

      Thanks for the comment. Ya! it's very dreadful. When this happens, people only think that the child must have been kidnapped or lost.

  • 2 years ago

    by Golden AnGel Rhapsodist

    Oh I watched this scenario ..And it went viral. I think this happened somewhere in Asia. .. China or Korea? am I right?

    You're good at dark poetry. .. well done. .


    • 2 years ago

      by Augustus Black

      You are very knowledgeable, Ya.. It happened in Japan. It's very horrific. The small girl accidentally fell into the water tank.

  • 2 years ago

    by Em

    Augustas, these 2 are really powerful and say much in 2 short stanzas/forms.
    I have been in this situation where I tried contacting my best friend for days and it turned out he had been murdered and left for dead in a rubbish bin :( so brought back some memories but a really good write.

    • 2 years ago

      by Augustus Black

      Oh, Em.. I'm sorry for that. Thanks for the comment. And I want to tell you that in this case the small girl accidentally fell into the water tank. I feel very sad for that girl too.