Comments : Seeing the Ground from the Sky Above

  • 9 months ago

    by Golden AnGel Rhapsodist

    Wow! nice imaginary ...I will add this to my favourite coz my child would love to hear this one...

    the man and the tree fulfilled their dream to fly..

    wonderful piece

    Gel

    • 9 months ago

      by Everlasting

      Thanks Gel,

      I'm glad you like it. I am actually thinking about this piece. For me, this piece instead of hopeful is tragic. So I am not sure how others may see it. I'm glad you were able to see the positive aspect.

  • 9 months ago

    by Golden AnGel Rhapsodist

    I love to see everything and every situation the good way..let's see what will other think about this. ...The tree's death fulfill his dream to fly. ..

  • 9 months ago

    by Em

    Luce, as always this is unique and a very intriguing piece. I guess it could be taken different like me I saw both the positive and negative in this.

    1/ I like how this starts like a fairy-tale with once upon a time. I imagine a tree begging to be able to fly to see the ground from higher up than what it does already and weeping because it's unable to lol not that trees weep but who knows?

    2/ Here we have it the tree would pray to anyone he thought would listen to get wings but his dreams like most fairy tales didn't come true not without something bad happening anyway.. So he stays living his life even if he stills wants to fly as he knows he isn't able to.

    3/ Then, it seems he finds (let's call him a friend lol) someone with the same aspirations of being able to fly but he doesn't yet know his own fate and who in life does?

    4/ uh-oh like any fairy - tale a turn in the story. I think hurried should be hurry though. Second line I think may read better with for in place of to. Just a suggestion though.

    5/ Oh no the poor tree, green peace will have his guts for garters lol. Should built be build?

    6/ The tree here makes the ultimate sacrifice to be able to fly and see the ground from the sky.

    A sad but great story.
    Em

  • 9 months ago

    by Meena Krish

    We pray for certain things and at times we are not immediately granted with that prayer and we just carry on....but somewhere along the line what we pray does come true.

    This poem not only depicts the feelings of humans and nature it also points out a very important message. That is prayers do get answered in time...keep praying!

    Nice write dear. Oh just one thing, this part:

    Suddenly, he stood in a hurried
    and left to his house
    to then come back with an axe.

    ^^The word hurried does not quite fit here
    nor does it help in the flow. Perhaps something like:

    "Suddenly, to stood abruptly and went home
    returning with an axe.

    Just a suggestion to make it sound better...take care and keep penning.